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[Roman Holiday]

Hello there,
Would greatly appreciate advice: I am 6 weeks into a new job and feel like I was hit by a menopause freight train last week - extreme anxiety, depression, body thermostat haywire and paralysing brain fog.

It’s a really petty and critical micromanaging environment and I was feeling so out of control and tearful,

I haven’t felt able to go in since I went home sick last Friday. I feel I have hardly slept with raging hot then cold nights.

My GP has put me on HRT and I’m waiting for blood test results to check thyroid  but I am v anxious about losing my job - 6month trial period, local government… maybe over panicking … but!

The question is, should I cite menopause/thyroid as the cause of illness? If I am not back by Monday, I understand I will need a sick note … It is a female line manager but she is a bully.

Any advice greatly appreciated.
Thank you!!!

[CLKD]

So why stay if the line manager, who you need to rely upon, is a bully?  Been there, stayed far too long in the post ........ should have walked immediately.

Depending on the size of the company there should be a management structure in place.  Have you had weekly discussions about your work thus far?  Local Government can be difficult to work for  .  Many R looking behind their backs in my experience ......... checking that their position is safe.

Is there Personnel/HR Dept., who interviewed you? 

[Nik2502]

Hello there,
Would greatly appreciate advice: I am 6 weeks into a new job and feel like I was hit by a menopause freight train last week - extreme anxiety, depression, body thermostat haywire and paralysing brain fog.

It’s a really petty and critical micromanaging environment and I was feeling so out of control and tearful,

I haven’t felt able to go in since I went home sick last Friday. I feel I have hardly slept with raging hot then cold nights.

My GP has put me on HRT and I’m waiting for blood test results to check thyroid  but I am v anxious about losing my job - 6month trial period, local government… maybe over panicking … but!

The question is, should I cite menopause/thyroid as the cause of illness? If I am not back by Monday, I understand I will need a sick note … It is a female line manager but she is a bully.

Any advice greatly appreciated.
Thank you!!!

Hi and welcome   
I’m in your exact same position.  Started new job 4 January and now onto third episode of sickness. I’m an emotional wreck. Crying, anxious, panicking.
Having bloods done on Monday but manager has referred me to Occupational Health for support - could you ask if that’s an option?
I work for the NHS.
Happy for you to private message if it would help x

[Roman Holiday]

Hello there Nik,
Thank you so much for your reply.
It makes such a difference to know we’re in the same boat. Private message would be great. Not sure how to do it though!!!

[CLKD]

U can't PM until you've been here a while ;-)

No job is worth losing sleep over, especially if upper levels of management seem less than supportive.  Even when they are women!  Been there etc.. 

I loved my job in industry so stuck there ........... it was upper management that were the problem!  Too busy watching how their Shares might be performing   

[Roman Holiday]

You’re quite right … the problem is I’m on my own and really need the income to survive.

But you are right, I’m studying at the same time and really struggling with brain fog and a deadline tomorrow - but feel so anxious and permanently cold - I’m finding it really hard to do ANYTHING- no appetite either - maybe I should just be kind to myself and try and sleep …

Hey ho, one thing’s for sure, this time WILL pass.

U can't PM until you've been here a while ;-)

No job is worth losing sleep over, especially if upper levels of management seem less than supportive.  Even when they are women!  Been there etc.. 

I loved my job in industry so stuck there ........... it was upper management that were the problem!  Too busy watching how their Shares might be performing   

[CLKD]

Try not to suffer though!  Is your studying tied to your job?

Get plenty of layers on and drink - can you make a hot Bovril in a mug to cuddle and sip, with some toast?  Anxiety stops me eating immediately  . Be kind to yourself and consider whether the stress right now is worth it - mayB contact the person who interviewed you for a discussion, as not knowing may make anxiety worse.  It might not be as bad as you fear we can blame ourselves during The Change un-necessarily.

[Roman Holiday]

Thank you, wise words! Unfortunately the person who interviewed me is not the most sympathetic of people BUT I will speak to her …

I find the lack of appetite even more angst inducing but I will go and get some no-fuss healthy food and baton down the hatches.

The job has aggravated matters as it’s a really strange and critical culture - I definitely need to find something else but bide my time until I’m feeling more competent- hopefully HRT will make a difference.

My studying is to enable me to change careers - positive long term and I do love it - just in a phase of paralysis I suppose!

Thank you for your kind words and support.
Xxx

[CLKD]

Sometimes our worries need to be written so that we can see them, out of the brain and onto the page can help.

I'm going to be nosey: what you studying  ?  . I can't keep anything in my head these days, other than dog breeds 

[Nik2502]

Hello there Nik,
Thank you so much for your reply.
It makes such a difference to know we’re in the same boat. Private message would be great. Not sure how to do it though!!!

I’ve messaged you. Check your inbox 

[Roman Holiday]

Hello there Nik,
Thank you so much for your reply.
It makes such a difference to know we’re in the same boat. Private message would be great. Not sure how to do it though!!!

I’ve messaged you. Check your inbox 

Hi Nik,
Thank you so much for the amazing message - I can’t reply directly - prob not been a member long enough which is such a shame. I’m so glad you are hanging in there. My job is a v simple job after years in education and my brain just totally fogged up last week….vicious circle as then the anxiety kicks in on top. One thing is for sure - this time will pass. It’s horrible but it will pass. I found a self compassion meditation that really helped earlier on. Self compassion is maybe the key and accepting that this is the state of affairs … for now…. And then it will pass of its own accord - with HRT too! Hang in there, we are all in this together! Xx

[Nik2502]

Morning @romanholiday
I woke up to a massive panic attack this morning. It was awful. Can’t wait for my blood tests on Monday as something is definitely wrong.
I can’t accept being like this. It’s so hard for me. I hate every minute.
We will get better but have to be patient and it’s not my forte! X

[CLKD]

   Nik2502 - It is awful  I would wake anytime after 3.30 a.m. and be absolutely terrified.  My GP gave me a betablocka to take twice a day which helped. 

[Nik2502]

  Nik2502 - It is awful  I would wake anytime after 3.30 a.m. and be absolutely terrified.  My GP gave me a betablocka to take twice a day which helped.

I had a horrific dream and I’m not sure if that’s what set me off. I just woke up terrified. I’m using propranolol which just about takes the edge off.
Bloody menopause x

[CLKD]

I took my propranolol at night to ease those early morning surges.  It was almost prehensile terror. Bloody cortisol.