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[Mindfulmoomins]

Hi everyone,

Me again. I’m still feeling really low and struggling to feel that I’ll ever get better.

I am going to speak to GP and meno clinic (Studd) and I’ve reached out to friends who have been lovely and so supportive.

I just wake up feeling low and empty and hopeless and then spend the day employing various strategies to get through it (distraction, exercise, meditation, resting, doing something for others, being with family etc). All of which help but the feeling is still there and I feel so sad I don’t feel good or like myself and that life is a struggle emotionally at the moment.

I was so sure I’d be feeling brighter by now.

I have been 4 weeks on the increase in oestrogel (so I am now on estradot 100 mg and 3 pumps of oestrogel). I have had a break from progesterone this month but am due to try provera soon (although I cannot risk a dip in mood so will discuss that with the meno clinic).

I take two antidepressants and one was increased about 8 weeks ago and the other 3 weeks and 4 days ago.

I am happy to be referred to a mental health team although I am not keen to take a place that someone else might benefit from. I speak to a counsellor once a week which is supportive and helpful.

I am just not sure this is a mental health issue although it is presenting as such.

I had a similar experience at the start of peri 4 years ago and 4 pumps of oestrogel, a blob of testosterone and 7 days of utrogestan plus an antidepressant at a low dose (added to what I had been taking and well on for years) helped.

Sorry if I am repeating myself from other threads. I just wondered if anyone had any suggestions.

I feel like I might write a book on all this once I’m through it! It’s really the hardest thing ever.

Xx

[Mindfulmoomins]

So meno clinic have said it can take 2-3 months for increase in oestrogen to start really helping.

They also suggested asking the Gp for a referral to a psychiatrist. Not sure that is the answer but willing to try I guess 

Feel kind of shocked that was the suggestion. I feel sure this is hormonal depression.

[Sazzle42115]

Hey I'm sorry to hear that you are not feeling any better.
Have you had any bloods done to check your hormones? I feel exactly like you say and every day is so hard. I am now on 4 sprays of Lenzetto and 30mg AD and still haven't seem a great deal of improvement in low mood (very low) and anxiety. But as I had my bloods done last month and know that my estrogen levels are at 79 this logically explains why so I at least know the reason. Maybe get your bloods check and at least you will have some facts to work from. Also can you add a morning walk to your routine when you first wake up, 30 mins without sunglasses and try to drink at least 2 litres of water a day. Your nervous system needs lots of TLC try googling. I have come accross Dr Wendy Sweet online her philosophy looks good, I think it is about getting new habits in place as well as the HRT/ADs.
Lots of love
S

[Mindfulmoomins]

Sazzle, thank you so much. A morning walk could hopefully be part of my routine soon after the school run start later this week. That’s a great idea.

I’ll ask the gp for blood tests too today.

Going to look in Dr Wendy Sweet.

Thank you so so much for replying. I am so heartened to know I am not alone but I hope you feel better soon too xxx

[Nas]

Hi mindful,
Sorry to hear you are still struggling, it’s a horrible journey isn’t it?

Your feelings are very likely to be hormonal related, but some women do take a low dose anti depressant alongside HRT, just to help things along the way. I’ve thought about asking for one too, but I know my feelings are entirely hormonal linked, I hope your medications work for you soon.

You are on a good whack of Oestrogen, but do you think you are absorbing it all? Some don’t absorb transdermal HRT too well. Do you know what your o levels are now?

I think this time of life is really challenging to be honest.
For example, I am now questioning daily some of my decisions which I made 14 years ago aged 36. These decisions seem to be affecting my quality of life and coupled with menopause, I’m also feeling quite fed up with myself.

I think you to be kind to yourself at the moment. Accept that this is how things are for you right now and try to ride the
storm so to speak.

Hopefully the increased HRT will kick in soon but I think it would be worth getting your levels checked, as it’s been 4 weeks now anyway.

Xxxx🌸🌸🌸🌸

[CherrySG]

Just putting this out there, hope that's OK.

I take antidepressants and was taking Hrt also for the past 18 months. I became much more depressed than usual on oestradiol, even when I skipped progesterone. For progesterone I took Utrogestan and also Provera. For oestrogen I have used patches and gel. Both are depressing but the patches were the worst.

Each time I've reduced or come off Hrt I have recovered mentally. It was amazing for anxiety though.

[sheila99]

Sorry, no advice. Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and hope you can find a way forward 

[Mindfulmoomins]

Thank you everyone.

I’m hopefully getting my bloods done today after speaking to the Gp who was lovely.

I am really hoping it’s not the oestrogen that is making me feel so low. I am reluctant to tamper with that as it helped getting the dose right previously when peri started.

My mood just shifted about 30 mins ago, out of the blue. I don’t feel really good but I don’t feel such despair. I just don’t understand what is going on but feel so strongly my own hormones might be creating some chaos in the background. That shift from one mood to another I have only felt when, for example, I have come on or after I gave birth (both those events helped my mood really quickly).

It’s so exhausting. Thank you everyone, I’d be lost without you on here xxx

[Floo36]

I can relate to the sudden changes, I really feel the fluctuations. 

If you increase your dose would it be best to add in a different method of delivery, gel, spray, tablet or different make patch.  My menopause specialist adds a different type to try to get the Estrogen in. 

[Mindfulmoomins]

Good point floo. I’ll see what the blood test says and then take it from there.

Xxx

[EllaAurora]

Hi Mindfulmoomins,
I can totally relate. I too continue to feel not myself and today and yesterday have been the worst days in a long time (after a relatively ok last week), which makes me so frustrated and sad. I thought I'd be on my way to a better place already and then this week started again with a huge step backwards and I feel like there's not been any progress since April (though I know that's not true as I was feeling even worse then). Its just so sad as it feels like precious life is being wasted feeling like this, without any real reason -just the hormones. 

Unfortunately can't really share any advice as I continue to struggle myself, but wanted to sympathise and tell that you are not alone.
I'm at the moment still on EstroGel but unsure how long to continue. I've been back with gel for 5 weeks now and am thinking that surely, if this was going to work for me, I'd feel better already. So I probably have to make yet another try with something else, whether its Lenzetto or moving to oral. Its just that starting again with something new sounds also quite overwhelming, knowing that it will then take another few months before seeing if it works.

I guess the only thing we can really do is to breathe, take one day at a time and keep the faith that things will get better!!
Take care xxx

[Mindfulmoomins]

Ella, I am so sorry to hear you have been feeling similarly.

It does feel so frustrating and sad to take a step or two backwards.

I too am taking a deep breath and taking things one day, sometimes one hour at a time and hoping I can feel some improvement soon.

Thinking of you xxx

[Suzysheep]

I’m struggling too. It feels like a deep dark hole. My troubles started when I didn’t get on with the HRT and had to come off.
Who would know what chaos our hormones can cause!

My ads haven’t kicked in yet …. 9 days in. Maybe they are not the right ones either.

I find some relaxing guided meditation helps for a bit, and trying to distract myself from negative thoughts…. Although this is easier said than done! I’m sure it takes practice. Xx

[EllaAurora]

Ella, I am so sorry to hear you have been feeling similarly.

It does feel so frustrating and sad to take a step or two backwards.

I too am taking a deep breath and taking things one day, sometimes one hour at a time and hoping I can feel some improvement soon.

Thinking of you xxx

Thank you dear -so grateful for this forum and the support here!

[EllaAurora]

I’m struggling too. It feels like a deep dark hole. My troubles started when I didn’t get on with the HRT and had to come off.
Who would know what chaos our hormones can cause!

My ads haven’t kicked in yet …. 9 days in. Maybe they are not the right ones either.

I find some relaxing guided meditation helps for a bit, and trying to distract myself from negative thoughts…. Although this is easier said than done! I’m sure it takes practice. Xx

I haven't tried ADs myself but have understood that it takes 2 weeks before the benefits start to be observed, so perhaps its just a bit too soon for you right now? It seems quite many feel actually worse during the first days. So, if you don't feel worse, I suppose that is already a good thing, meaning that you will not be getting any nasty side effects. Maybe already tomorrow is the day you'll start feeling the effect!