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[Shell babes]

I feel nerves and internal shaking every morning - it is truly awful and I’m on HRT and anti depressants.

Michelle and mindfulmoomins  - what on earth do you think causes these dreadful feelings?

X

[EllaAurora]

Shell babes, just want to say you exactly described what I've also been wondering lately. What has happened to me? It is so overwhelming Sometimes in the evenings, which usually are better for me, I can get 'me' back and momentarily feel like I used to, especially if something fun happens which takes my focus away from self-observation, but most of the days its like being in a cloud and not being 'grounded'. And I know I'm making it worse by all the time focusing on how I feel and constantly observing even the tiniest feeling/symptom, but I just can't help it.

I have no idea what is causing these feelings, other than the hormonal fluctuations or maybe side effects from HRT. I don't think for me it can be low oestrogen only, as before HRT my levels were very low but I didn't feel this bad, symptoms were more physical at that time. Maybe its meno progressing and the sudden peaks and drops, or its the exogenous oestrogen that our bodies just don't tolerate the same way. In case of the latter, I guess trying out different products might help. I've been trialling gel and patch, so far not very successfully, and may be facing a move to oral unless things improve. There's Lenzetto too, which many ladies seem to tolerate well. I'm also wondering if it makes a difference that some products have estrogen as hemihydrate, some as valerate.. maybe we are extra sensitive to these things and it needs to be exactly the right one and the right dose for us to feel back to ourselves..

So difficult and frustrating but trying to take day by day. This forum has been amazing for the past months.
Take care all and hopefully we all get to a more stable place soon!! xxx

[Michelle7474]

Shell babes mindful and EllaAurora

I hope we all one day have the best day ever that then becomes the norm forever

Shell babes I’m like you , happy go lucky always laughing smiling cracking the jokes .. confidence sky high .. never been shy always seeing the good things in life

Now I’m a bag of nerves who hardly ever leaves this house because of this aniexty and these awful feelings

I came off HRT as I believed things got worse on them
I was before HRT all the above still but with aches/pains hot flushes occasional headache etc etc & one or two aniexty episodes
So that’s why I came off it to see if I can get to that person again .. I need too
I’ve gone inside myself and although I crack a joke and smile it’s not the same

It’s just a rollercoaster & I know my acid etc is due to all this
But I also read too much estrogen can cause this… I always sit and think maybe it was too soon for me to be on iy .. maybe my body didn’t need it as much as I thought It did & now I’ve messed with my system as for 3.5 months my body got used to having extra hormones pumped in… & now it’s as to get used to having none pumped in and then having to realise they need to settle back down which I’ve been told can take a while

I’ve also been told that when the aniexty settles so will the stomach or visa versa

I would use HRT again don’t get me wrong but I would have to be further down the path than what I started at.

I often wondered was it hormones doing this .. but all bloods always come back fine apart from this time one abnormal but that’s I think is because of too much cortisol being realeased & maybe that’s why my aniexty is in overload

I’m gonna take vitamin C and D and try and pick my self up as best I can by making me feel better & because I can’t eat oranges now because of the acid I can take it in a soluable with food ( been advised )

Part of me wish I didn’t start the HRT but at the time I needed it so I thought & I will never know if it was that or would it happen without HRT

Everyday is a struggle so I completely get where your coming from and I feel deeply for you all as I know how this feels for me and it’s horrendous.

I do hope one day that we are here to advise others because we made it through .. because we will .. we have too.

I would take all my symptoms daily to remove this aniexty and interal shakes and fear ..

I wish you all the best and I pray that we all have better days and we all find miracle cures ..
My sis in law as been on antidepressants for aniexty for years and this year she as had it upped twice because she went down hill & now off work with it … peri menopause it’s takes us all
So even tho we struggle we are never alone …
If you ever Want a chat just inbox me I can chat for England it ain’t took that away from me yet ..

We was born for this .. so we will survive this  xxxxx

[Shell babes]

Michelle- I totally know what you mean about being a bag of nerves, why oh why? I used to be fine, can’t understand it. If I go out, I can’t wait to get home to safety, it’s hard to describe x

[Shell babes]

Ellaaura- I feel the same, like my old self in an evening and then bang, the whole nightmare starts again in a morning x

[Michelle7474]

Michelle- I totally know what you mean about being a bag of nerves, why oh why? I used to be fine, can’t understand it. If I go out, I can’t wait to get home to safety, it’s hard to describe x

You don’t need to explain to me , I’m exactly the same ..
this as took me away from my life .. but I won’t let it destroy me and I will take my life back
It might take time but the more it happens surely my body gets used to it although at the moment it ain’t used to it .. good at the talking me just need to put things into practise 😂😂

I usually feel more relaxed on a evening ( mostly ) .. but they say cortisol rises in the morning but if you sleep in the day it can come at night or something .. I’m not too sure if I have that right but I’ve read it somewhere
Because My husband said you seem relaxed at night is that because I’m home .. maybe I get someone with you daily lol
He tries bless him but I had looked into cortisol and read about it ..

I often do sit and wonder why this gives us aniexty … I can’t work it out that for 47 years I have nothing then BANG

How long you been on HRT shell 

[Hopeful]

I feel exactly the same always better in the evening and worse during the mornings, get so many heart palpitations but I can’t take propranolol as I have an already low heart rate. 

[Shell babes]

Michelle- I’ve been on hrt for two years, been a nervous wreck ever since although have to pretend to the outside world that I’m ok.

I tried propanolol but it didn’t agree with me, I felt drugged x

[Michelle7474]

I tried proponol and it wasn’t for me .. I don’t sleep great but I manage a small amount .. but when I took proponol I had no sleep .. after taking it I would feel calm but I couldn’t function on it and that was 10mg smallest dose
We all different my mate takes 40mg a day and function great on it and as been a life saver for her ..
that’s how we know we all different

I had started noticing things last year around periods and ovalting & knew it was hormones and each month I see a pattern but it was literally a doddle compared to this

This year it got worse but because I unfortunately got covid in January they blamed it on long covid as our body becomes inflamed etc etc
Then I had jab & 3 weeks later had first aniexty but the following day had a period so I was like it’s hormones as too be
Then I had 2 periods in 12 days so I phoned GP & started everol sequi
First week I felt better as in no pains aches it felt great palpitations Went I honestly thought I had found my answer
Then had 2nd jab June 6th and then 18th June I got this Burning & full on aniexty and again I was starting a period .. but then it became most days .. and I felt worse and worse and worse
Me being me continued it because after 3 months it could settle ( I was hoping as so many have great success) then 3.5 months in I had to stop I Couldn’t do it anymore and it wasn’t helping me

Since I came off it I’ve had odd few good days but I know my hormones need to settle after HRT so 16 days I think now … pharmist  told me maybe I overloaded my body with too much hormone & maybe it wasn’t ready for it and now it’s waiting for my body to just realise that I’m no longer adding hormones and for my own to settle .. think that’s why my body as been so bad as in aniexty aches pains etc
Funny old thing hormones
I see people my age and I think is it hormones they seem fine lol but we all sometimes suffer in silence

I’m a bit more relaxed now which I’m greatful for and I’m praying tomorrow is a good day
I’ve eaten as I don’t want to lose any more weight I wanna be back to my normal eating habits ..then I can get back to my normal happy go lucky non bag of nerves self.

We are all riding this journey together & that’s why I love this site .. I can rant cry moan and someone reads it ..
I Can’t wait for the day I come on and say oiiii oiiii I’m back to normal lol 😂

[EllaAurora]

Ellaaura- I feel the same, like my old self in an evening and then bang, the whole nightmare starts again in a morning x

This is so strange, I wonder what drives this. Maybe it is the cortisol then, which is the highest in the morning and then gradually decreases during the day. Does anyone know if there is anything which can be done to lower the cortisol?

Take care Shell babes, Michelle, Mindfulmoomins and all -we'll get through this! xxx

[Michelle7474]

Ellaaura- I feel the same, like my old self in an evening and then bang, the whole nightmare starts again in a morning x

This is so strange, I wonder what drives this. Maybe it is the cortisol then, which is the highest in the morning and then gradually decreases during the day. Does anyone know if there is anything which can be done to lower the cortisol?

Take care Shell babes, Michelle, Mindfulmoomins and all -we'll get through this! xxx

Hi EllaAurora
I’ve been asking myself the same thing ..
If only there was ..

[EllaAurora]

Hi Mindfulmoomins, Michelle, Shell babes and others,

how are you feeling today? I'm still on the roller coaster and feel I'm taking 2 steps forward 2 steps back, but maybe... if I am optimistic, the steps forward could be a tiny bit longer than the steps backwards, so I'd like to think I may be improving a little. At least I've got my appetite back recently (already seem to be putting on weight, though ) and for the past 5 nights I have slept. Most nights not great, still waking up early with the presumably cortisol rush, but sleeping 5 hours is still a huge difference vs not sleeping at all. So today I'm feeling hopeful, which is a good feeling to have, even if tomorrow will then again be worse.
Take care and hope you're having a good day as well!!

[Michelle7474]

 

Hi Mindfulmoomins, Michelle, Shell babes and others,

how are you feeling today? I'm still on the roller coaster and feel I'm taking 2 steps forward 2 steps back, but maybe... if I am optimistic, the steps forward could be a tiny bit longer than the steps backwards, so I'd like to think I may be improving a little. At least I've got my appetite back recently (already seem to be putting on weight, though ) and for the past 5 nights I have slept. Most nights not great, still waking up early with the presumably cortisol rush, but sleeping 5 hours is still a huge difference vs not sleeping at all. So today I'm feeling hopeful, which is a good feeling to have, even if tomorrow will then again be worse.
Take care and hope you're having a good day as well!!

Hi EllaAurora
I’m glad you are feeling slightly optimistic.. it’s good to feel that & the sleep sounds better for you and appitite:)


Today so far as been a better day for me and like I’m happy for that ..
I sleep same as you and always awake at certain times .. but I don’t mind that

Appitite mine as gone but yesterday and today I’ve made myself eat more .. as I don’t want to lose no more weight .. I know it’s due to this acid and aniexty .. but I much rather now stay the weight I am than lose any more
I’ve eaten breakfast ( 2 alpen bars ) banana pear and a chicken Mayo baguette so far today and I will make my self eat later as I know I don’t want to lose any more weight

I have felt shaky etc today but I’ve just continued as normal as I can
I even went to the cash point on my own which is huge for me as this aniexty as had me as good as housebound
But today I thinking it’s at local shops it’s take 2 min literally to get there and I can do this
And I did .. I was so happy for the small step forward very small but good for me
I didn’t panic nothing .. which I find bizzare because if you tell me I have an appointment somewhere this panic sets in or maybe is it just the coristol rush at that particular time & that’s why I panic .. I couldn’t tell you as I don’t know & I will never understand it.
I can go out with husband in car etc so I’m not afraid of the big world
( I was always out before this set in )

So today is a good day & tomorrow will be what it will be ..

Happy for just today to be honest .. I’ll tackle later and tomorrow when it comes..

Enjoy rest of your day EllaAurora xxx

[Shell babes]

Glad about the progress you are both making today. My sleep is not good either. I am sure I have too much cortisol as you suggest but can’t seem to get rid of it. I’ve just opened a bottle off wine, only one glass mind. Cheers and hugs to you lovely ladies. My day is still full of nerves but I’m trying to accept it and stay calm x

[Wannabewell]

Hi everyone,

I’m hoping you’re all having as good a day as is possible.

Reading through the posts a few things resonate with me, especially the ‘feeling so different in evening’.  This has been very noticeable to me for years and I really don’t understand it.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I finally allow myself to fully relax after making it through another day of fatigue, nil energy, pain, anxiety etc. The last few months (prior to me staring HRT) I had developed progressively worse cyclical depression which literally felt like something had taken over my mind .. it was scary.

I feel more like “me” (in my mind/mood) since starting HRT but not as much as the initial days on oestrogen which were fantastic. I felt back to my normal carefree happy giggly girlie self. I’m hoping that some tweaks along the line can provide that.

Hugs