Rosie63, I'm sure it is fine to push the pessary up with your finger for the time being, if you find it more comfortable that way. I expect the trace of blood resulted from your attempt to use the applicator, as the vaginal and vulval tissues can become fragile with VA. If you have a good moisturiser, such as Yes VM or Sylk, you can use this on the applicator, and also insert some with a finger. I think it might help you to use one of the estriol creams on the vulva as well, either Ovestin or the weaker generic product (just called Estriol Cream). These are available from your GP. When you feel more relaxed about the whole thing, you can have another go with the applicator.
Good luck, you will get there, but remember it can take quite a few weeks of treatment to feel better.
Best wishes,
JP x