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[holidaylover]

Hi

I know this will sound ridiculous to most people but are there any others out there that are struggling with facemasks?  I really just cant do it!  I suffer anxiety disorder and panic attacks, which up until Covid had been manageable.  During the first lockdown I managed my weekly shop (pre mask) just!  I went around the supermarket albeit with butterflies in my stomach, sweating and palpitations, but I managed.  I'm in Scotland and since masks became mandatory on July 10th I haven't been in a shop.  Daughter and hubby  get the supplies in.  What's making my anxiety worse now is the constant rage coming from people (obviously the majority) who seem to deem anyone who is not waring a mask as a different species.  Comments such as 'If you dont like a mask you'll hate a ventilator', and 'anyone not wearing a mask does not deserve to be treated by the NHS' and the famous Freddie Mercury one 'No mask on your face, you're a big disgrace', has made me feel utterly worthless.  I appreciate the reasons for wearing a mask, I'm not stupid, and I wont put anyone in the position of having to come in contact with me, so I am staying at home.  I know it's just a 'piece of cloth' and I know medical staff wear them 24/7 but that does not help.  I dont even like seeing people wearing them, its giving me so much stress.  I read this morning an article by a German virologist who thinks we may need to keep wearing them for up to the next 10 years!!!  I've been in tears since then, I cant bear it.  What is really not helping is the fact that I know plenty people who think  they are saving the world and are some sort of superhero by wearing a cheap paper mask from Homebargains, making them think they cant get the virus so dont bother social distancing.  The same people (I know as there are plenty in my street), have family and friends in and out their homes and are meeting up for coffee and lunches with more than the 'only two different household' rule.  I just cant see how it is safe to sit in a restaurant eating and drinking without a mask and yet the virus is so dangerous that as soon as you stand up your doomed.  I feel I am being so selfish and feel that everyone around me has just accepted that this is the new way to live.   I feel I'm spoiling my families life now, I'm so obsessed with face masks.  I have lost all my independence and dont know how long I can go on just sitting at home everyday apart from walking the dog.  I know most of you reading this will want to tell me to grow up, it's the least I can do to wear a facemask to protect others, but it really isn't that easy, I wish it was.   

[Sparrow]

You are not alone holiday maker.

I agree with what you say.  The only upside of the current lockdown is that there are less places to go to, where I struggle with a facemask.  I can just about manage a 15min supermarket dash, but that's it.

Personally I am not convinced they are affective at all. 

[Dorothy]

You're not alone - I get excruciating chest pain and nausea after 5-6 minutes in a mask, and no amount of 'practicing' at home is getting me above that - it was a huge shock to me as I'd not expected to have any issues at all, apart from maybe my glasses steaming up!  Like you, I'm finding it very restrictive and also feel bad that the burden for running all errands has fallen on my husband.

Pre-mandatory-mask-wearing, we would drive to a National Trust garden or park to go for a walk, but we've only been once since mask-wearing came in - we'd only been there half an hour and I needed the loo, and of course, I couldn't go because it meant wearing a mask - had a very unpleasant drive home and have been too worried it will happen again to go out since.  And I feel so bad that my husband either has to go out on his own or stay home.

Like you, I feel really guilty when people go on about it.  I find it especially infuriating when people brag along the lines of "I have an exemption but I choose to wear a mask to keep other people safe."  Which implies that anyone who can't wear one is 'choosing' not to and doesn't care about others.  Sorry, but if mask wearing is a 'choice' for you, then you didn't need an exemption in the first place!

I too worry about the prospect of being cut off from society for months or years - and how I will cope with reintegration once masks are finally made optional.  No answers I'm afraid, but sending you a huge cyber hug. 

[milly]

I’m so sorry you are feeling like this, especially the anxiety it’s causing you.

As an alternative have you tried a face visor? My father wears one, it may not suit you either, but worth a try?

I am convinced that socially distancing and washing hands is far better than a face covering, and will keep other people much safer. I agree that some people put a mask on and think they are invincible, and forget the other mitigating measures.

Be true to yourself and as long as you know you are obeying the rules.

[C.C.]

I understand your anxiety and you are not alone in this.  This whole situation has gotten out of control and people are really struggling living life like this.

 For work, I have to wear a surgical mask (they cut into the back of my ears) and goggles (always fogging up) and both are mandatory because I work with school-age children.  At first, I had trouble breathing with the mask but over time I got used to it. I don't like wearing  PPE and wish I didn't have to, but I have no choice these days.

I agree with milly and her suggestion of trying a face shield.  They are easier to breathe in and they don't obstruct your face.  Why not give one a try and see how you make out?

[Dorothy]

The problem with face shields is that they do not 'count' as face coverings - shops are entitled to refuse you entrance without a face covering - and you also get a load of abuse from other shoppers for not wearing one. 

It's especially a problem if you don't 'look' exempt (i.e. obviously disabled or elderly) as people assume you're just not bothering!

@holidaylover, have you tried ringing your GP for advice?  I was reluctant to bother mine, but finally rang them to see if they could offer any advice on breathing exercises or similar that might help - I was expecting to talk to a nurse but they've arranged a callback next week from an actual GP.  I'll let you know if they are able to suggest any helpful ways of increasing tolerance.

[milly]

Oh dear, i think we have been lucky then not to have come across any abuse with a face shield...all the staff in Marks and Spencer were wearing them last week!

I despair sometimes how awful some people can be, initially this crisis bought out the best in most, but maybe it’s the minority who wouldn’t be nice whatever we go through as a country.

We are in the shielding group and have had nothing but kindness from everyone, including supermarkets adding us a priority home deliveries.

Positive news holidaylover...vaccine maybe rolling out before Xmas, breaking news today

[Dorothy]

Really hoping the vaccine works...it'll feel like being let out of prison if it does!

[holidaylover]

Hi All, so glad I'm not alone in this, really thought I was and was starting to go mad!  Someone gave me a face covering but to be honest that seemed as bad, although I do know now in Scotland they are not deemed acceptable on their own.  You must wear a mask too!  My anxiety is worse in crowded places, ie supermarkets  when I always feel everyone is looking and judging me.  Sounds crazy I know but that's my crazy mind for you!  I tend to hyperventilate in stressful situations.  What is everyones thoughts on a vaccine?  My anxious mind now worries about side effects, long term ones that no one knows about yet.  Remember thalidomide?  Nobody can tell and although it seems like what we've all been waiting for, I feel very scared.  Then I wonder how bad I may be affected if I caught the virus, I may be ok or then again not!  Do I want to risk taking the vaccine or risk getting Covid. Oh how i admire optimistic people.  I was happy sticking to the 2metre rule, in fact I would stick to a ten metre rule if it meant I could get out without a mask.  I tend to call them muzzles much to the annoyance of my husband.  Dorothy, I did think about calling the Doctor, but to be honest I find him rather intolerant of mental health problems.  I've been prescribed anti d's in the past and had CBT to no avail.  I'll be interested to hear how you get on. 

[CLKD]

Milly - different rules for Staff!

Ask your GP for an exception certificate holidaylover.  As for those comments, if someone is really ill they won't be aware of a mask being put on the face.  I put mine on without problems, other than occasionally when I've been walking, then I realise that I need another breath  .  I nipped into the surgery this morning completely forgetting mine, no one said a word ;-).

One should wear a face mask under a shield, when I'm in a store and get breathless I lift my mask; away from anyone else.  If in the open air I don't wear one [England] ............ certainly if in a National Trust grounds I wouldn't consider it necessary once I'm alone.  [I'm going to cancel our membership anyway].

If you have people who will shop for you then don't stress.  It is what it is and have they moaned about going to the shops instead of yourself? 

[holidaylover]

CLKD,
No they're not moaning, they're more than happy to help.  It just makes we feel stupid, useless and worthless I suppose.  Dotors dont give out exemption certificates and I'm not going to put myself in the position of being halted at the entrance of a shop by staff. Legally I know I dont have to prove my exepemtion but I'd be having a panic attack before I got anywhere near the shop in that case anyway.   Your right, it is what it is, it truly is 'poop', so I'll just accept a future in the house til (or if) it goes away.  The cases continue to rise even though masks are mandatory.

[CLKD]

The cases are probably rising due to a specific age group mixing in great crowds! as well as students travelling home/back to Colleges when they have been told not to!!!

You can go out and about without a mask in the open air in England, mandatory in shops etc...  If the family are getting supplies without problems, then make the list and send them off ;-).  It is what it is.  Remind them to add a treat or several ? 

What other skills do you have, why does not being able to shop make you feel useless?  Be kind to yourself.  I see many people with lanyards which mean that they are exempt from wearing a mask, where do they get those from 

[milly]

Milly - different rules for Staff!

Ah ok! .... clever virus this...knows whose staff and who isn’t!! 😂😂

Said in jest.

[CLKD]

Milly - the point is that staff are not expected to wear a mask all day so those face thingies are less restrictive.  As long as we all keep a distance we should be OK. 

I hate my glasses steaming up but of course it's because it isn't tight enough  .  Apparently.  Washing the masks often also helps. 

[C.C.]

I suppose I'm fortunate that I only have to wear and mask and goggles for 5 hours a day, split up.  The masks that we were provided for us when our school first started were horrible, they cut the back of the ears and were too tight around the mouth.  We hated them as we couldn't breathe and couldn't wait to get them off.  There were complaints from other schools' staff with the same issues. Then they sent us another batch, but not any better.  Finally, after 3 tries, they got it right.  The ones we have now are larger with longer elastics and are more comfortable. But I still don't like wearing them no matter how comfortable they are.