Oh god, where to start? Two better days on Quetiapine - slept better, anxiety greatly reduced, felt in a better mood in general. Today the anxiety's crept back and I'm feeling really low, terrified that this one's not going to work either. Missing my daughters - it's pretty lonely in here, a weird mix of people and a lot of the time there's no-one around and nothing to do so bored as well.
They're expecting me to start progesterone on Sat because my prescription says '10mg days 14 - 28', but I never take it like that because I just can't tolerate that much, so I usually end up taking it with a full month in between, but only 5mg and for as long as I can tolerate it, which is usually somewhere between 2 and 3 weeks. Probably not enough, but I do get a bleed each time and no abnormal bleeding in between so I'm willing to take the risk. If I take it at the level prescribed now I'll be severely depressed within days (whereas at the moment although I'm low I can function) and that'll then make it really hard to assess what effect the Quetiapine is having. I have the legal right to refuse treatment but I'd really rather not have to go down that route as it's bound to create friction.
Horrible situation to be in - trying to explain the intricacies of menopausal moods and HRT to people who're barely aware the menopause is a thing, but who are in a position of power over me. If all else fails I can discharge myself, but I really don't want to do that because then I'll have to go and live on my own in an isolated place and I'll be at risk of suicide again. Plus if they think that's a risk they could Section me and then my rights'll be drastically reduced. Rock bottom tbh.....