Not silly at all!
What I forgot was that depression didn't happen overnight. It gradually crept up. It took a while to find suitable medication in the 1980s. Now if my brain feels low for more than 3 mornings I up the medication without giving a 2nd thought, 3-5 days lifts the mood. Otherwise anxiety sets in.
Anxiety struck me at age 3. So has been a problem for ever. But: if I had medication I would worry that it would make me feel worse. If I had to eat, would it make me feel worse ?
......... I had to condition myself that some days I would be OK others not so. Now I don't plan any more than half a day at a time and never say 'yes' in the evening when I feel better: because I know that by morning, anxiety levels would be too high to cope with.
I think that using up too much energy in the early stages of treatment can be detrimental, I found that if I worked too much on my better days, I would feel worse again.