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[Hillbilly]

Hi all.

I'm really struggling here. I'm about to try my 4th HRT as it's looking like I'm prog intolerant and I just don't know whether to carry on or just give up 

My anxiety has been awful since I took the prog again, I'm having real panic attacks and now its starting to affect my relationship.

Not only is my sex drive up and down...or non existent but my moods are all over the place, I've now broken out in spots and feel and look awful. Then to make it worse my partner liked a couple of pictures of women (you know, the 'look at my new hair colour' but they're wearing a low cut top  ) on Twitter (he follows them to do with a sport he is involved with, not just random women) and now I feel even worse. I look and feel like a spotty 70 year old and not at all sexy, so I'm now insecure and upset as well as really angry.

I know I'm over reacting and should just talk to him but he really doesn't understand the whole meno thing and I also don't want to be that insecure gf who gets jealous all the time.

Has anyone else had reactions like this and can you give me a mental slap   

[CLKD]

He's the 1 that needs the slap ............ 

If the progesterone is making you ill, why not stop?  Which symptom would you like to ease?  Do you keep a mood/symptom/food diary to chart progress?

Have you put the names of the various products into the search box here to see what pops up? might give you an idea as to how others have got on ?

[Hillbilly]

Thanks for replying, I actually tried deleting the post because I feel really stupid now 

I'm considering stopping the HRT, my reaction to the prog is just too extreme and it's starting to scare me a bit.

My biggest symptoms are palpitations and head hot flushes and my low mood, oh and a libido that yo yo's. All the things l am getting with prog.

Yes I'm keeping track and my mood/vanishing sex drive/panic attacks start gently on my first month of prog, and kick on majorly on the 2nd cycle.  Although I have noticed that the downs are coming earlier and earlier, almost as if my body expects it, if that makes sense. I'm not sure what the reason for that would be?

As for the slap, I do think I'm over reacting but yes I'm upset, way more than I normally would be though 

[Clovie]

Thanks for replying, I actually tried deleting the post because I feel really stupid now 

I'm considering stopping the HRT, my reaction to the prog is just too extreme and it's starting to scare me a bit.

My biggest symptoms are palpitations and head hot flushes and my low mood, oh and a libido that yo yo's. All the things l am getting with prog.

Yes I'm keeping track and my mood/vanishing sex drive/panic attacks start gently on my first month of prog, and kick on majorly on the 2nd cycle.  Although I have noticed that the downs are coming earlier and earlier, almost as if my body expects it, if that makes sense. I'm not sure what the reason for that would be?

Hey, don't feel stupid.

I am exactly the same on all the synthetic progs I've tried. I am very definitely progesterone intolerant. It's scary, and it's like flicking a switch. I don't recognise myself when on these medications.

I was getting along much better on Utrogestan, which is bioidentical . Have you tried that?  It made a huge difference to me - not 100% better but much more bearable 

[CLKD]

Tnx Clovie

Not stupid at all.  But *he* needs to temper his behaviour on line!!!

[Hillbilly]

Thanks Clovie, no I haven't tried Utro, I spoke to a GP yesterday and I'm due to pick up a prescription tomorrow, embarrassingly I have no idea what for as I was in a bit of a state when I spoke to him. I'll have a Google when i find out what he's given me but I'm not sure I'll take it, I've been in my room all day today and just can't face anyone - thank goodness I'm not living with my bf 

You've both made me feel a bit better, so thank you. Normally I'm confident enough, I'm not vain, I don't wear make up and I'm confident in how I look but this has stripped all of that away. Suddenly I'm doubting myself and acting out of character. It's like all my positive feelings, including love, just go, I'm completely empty and have no empathy or conscience. Its scary. And yet, put me back on oestrogen alone and I'm madly in love  and the kindest person you could meet

Thanks again for your support.

[CLKD]

Any man that makes personal remarks needs a  - would he do it face-2-face, probably illegal in a sports scenario in reality.  ? ! ?  We are involved with lots of sports and DH was a Manager, there is a strict protocol which is usually over seen by the sport's Governing Body or at a higher level.

That would raise my anxiety levels .......

[Hillbilly]

Sorry I probably haven't been clear about the 'liking' of pics, he hasn't made comments and he wouldn't, I'm sure of that.

You know the sort of pics where a woman posts a picture of herself with the caption 'how do you like my new hairstyle/new profile pic' or whatever, but she's wearing a low cut top or sexy lingerie and all you notice is the boobs, which is the whole point of the post? They just want likes and comments about how hot they look. Well he 'liked' a couple of those, not random women, he follows them as they are involved in a sport he follows, not sports women themselves but the likes of writers about the sport etc.

This is why I said I was over reacting, it normally wouldn't bother me but my confidence is at an all time low, I'm sat with a face mask on to try and clear my acne and my libido has vanished again. I feel ugly and frumpy and him liking pictures of women with lacy negligee's has not only made me think I'm obviously not what he wants, but I'm annoyed at him for falling for such obvious titillation  (I think that's the first time I've ever used that word!)

I just feel crap 

[Hillbilly]

Weirdly the spots are on my cheeks. My normally fresh looking face is red and blotchy with one very large almost cyst like spot just under my eye at the top of my cheekbone and the other smaller ones are on my cheeks. And then of course there's the large ones on my back 

I WAS on oestrogel 2 pumps and provera but I stopped the provera last night.

[Hillbilly]

No I'm not on testosterone?

[jaypo]

Hi hula,sorry you?re feeling like this,most women do at one point or another,but I wouldn't be happy if my OH was liking other women,boobs on display or not but I would speak to mine and say,do you know how that makes me feel?Tell him you feel ugly just now (although I'm sure you?re not) and that him liking other women has made you feel sad,I can't speak for your relationship or anyone else's but men shouldn't be liking other women,albeit their hair or whatever but maybe I'm old fashioned x

[Hillbilly]

Aw Jaypo thank you, I'm teary again now 

[CLKD]

NOPE I have NO idea as to the sites to which you refer  .  If my husband even thought about looking leave alone posting his gear would be on the doorstep and locks changed!   This is a total lack of respect IMO!

Not old fashioned at all jaypo.  It says more about him that you Hula - give him some washing or ironing to do, get him into the real World!

If this happened here the laptop would be smashed on the path outside.

[Hillbilly]

Thanks everyone.

I've no idea how to balance my hormones, I tried upping my gel to 3 and the palpitations and hot flushes got worse.

The annoying thing is, my first cycle is usually ok, it's my 2nd cycle that causes everything to go wrong. Even the prog on the 1st cycle is manageable.

There is so little specific info out there that if your GP is clueless you're stuck.

[Hillbilly]

But what about the prog? That's where the most severe symptoms come in?