I've just spent a lovely half hour reading this thread, reminded me of childhood visits to my nan and grandad. Nan would sometimes say "stop making such a fuss, a bit of pain never hurt anyone" and when grandad couldn't answer something he used to say "If in doubt, mumble"
When I was very young, we'd all be getting ready to go out, mum woud say "We're going to bury nana", and then we'd go visit a really old lady who was definitely still alive. What she meant was "we're going to visit my nana who lives in Bury"