Hello Sammiejane,
Are you seeing a menopause specialist or just your GP? A specialist may be more helpful in getting the balance of hormones right for you, and it's the balance that's crucial to feeling well.
Re hair loss, I have suffered from this for years, any change in hormone levels has affected it, as has low iron stores. The addition of a small blob of Tostran gel every other day has really helped, and I think taking 100mg Utrogestan every day has helped too, I used to take it every other day on a lower dose of oestrogen and my hair was awful. A new regime takes a few months to settle, so it is worth persisting, my hair started to respond after four months or so.
An oestrogen patch may give you more consistent levels of hormone than the gel, and I would think you are far too young to be without hormones re bone health etc.
Good luck, I hope you find what works for you.
Bx