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[Focus]

The whole narcissist/empath dynamic is really interesting. There are a whole series of videos about it on the channel I mentioned. It really does explain a lot.

[jaycee]

Jillydol, i do know now,and going to try to change my attitude, i am far too soft, but intend to not be in future where men are concerned anyway,
It is hard to believe someone can be 2 personalities, like Jekyl and Hyde,

[Focus]

jaycee, look into boundaries (both how empaths are with boundaries and how narcissists are as well).

[bear]

Hi girls,

Hello again ladies

Unfortunately I haven't had a chance to look at the video but reading your comments made me wonder something. I've never understood how the comment 'never mind, there is always someone worse off than you' is supposed to be a comfort? How can thinking about other people's suffering be of any help or consolation?  Surely it's just more to make you miserable. I'm guessing that all empaths feel the same way what do you think ladies?

Wishing you all well.

K.

Agree. Ubuntu!

BeaR.

[jaycee]

Focus i will do that, but i don't think Narcissists have any boundaries at all,i was shocked at the no boundaries thing with my last narc,in fact surprised he hasn't been arrested,[draw your own conclusions ] but would be if i could prove it

[Wobbles]

Hello again ladies

... I've never understood how the comment 'never mind, there is always someone worse off than you' is supposed to be a comfort? How can thinking about other people's suffering be of any help or consolation?  Surely it's just more to make you miserable. I'm guessing that all empaths feel the same way what do you think ladies?

Wishing you all well.

K.

Totally agree Kathleen.

I've always thought that whenever someone says to you 'There's always someone worse off' or 'Think about people who have ....itis/some other condition' it's a way of dismissing my pain or trying to make me feel bad or guilty. The type of person who says this isn't trying to comfort you - they want you to shut up. When I'm emotionally raw or have bad anxiety and I hear this from someone it makes me feel worse.

Wx

[Focus]

Focus i will do that, but i don't think Narcissists have any boundaries at all,i was shocked at the no boundaries thing with my last narc,in fact surprised he hasn't been arrested,[draw your own conclusions ] but would be if i could prove it

Precisely so...Ns have issues with boundaries because they see other people as an extension of themselves and to be used for their own gain. They don't recognise the right that the other person has to just be themselves and to be separate.

Empaths have issue with boundaries because we are so good at feeling where other people are at. Their emotions/physical feelings become our own. We overlook that we have a right to be ourselves and to be separate.

[Focus]

This is turning into the most incredible journey for me.

I've always sort of 'felt' other people as energy. I now tend not to look at their external physical appearance as sometimes this can be distracting. Like, I mean, at one of my jobs there was a privately educated, fresh-faced rugby player type member of staff who was a body builder as well. He turned out to be a serial sexual offender (after a couple of years of hard fight, we ended up getting him convicted and sentenced). Anyway, his appearance was all good, his energy was hideous. He made the skin on my arms crawl the first time I met him. SO I tend to ignore what someone looks like now and go on the energy I get from them.

So I've been reading up about energy, and vibrations. And also how to help yourself feel better. People have always described me as really kind and very positive and optimistic. I wanted to have more of an idea as to what was going on. So yes, I've been looking into energy and vibrations.

Which led me to looking into chakras. And in particular the one that's associated with my back injury and issues.

And I did a guided healing for that particular chakra. For the two nights after that I had the most incredibly vivid dreams to do with my ex husband, the way he treated me and the affairs he had. But they feel like positive dreams, very healing (for me).

I've also felt lighter, brighter, more radiant, in spite of being very drained through work.

I'm carrying on exploring this. And boundaries (for me).

[squeaker99]

Wow interesting. I had never heard of the word ' Empath' before I read this. Thanks.
Totally me. I wonder if there are more than the expected Empaths on this site? Maybe
they suffer more in Meno due to a heightened awareness of their body/mortality/need for reassurance.
Or we are more ready to talk about it and admit struggling. (A strength I think)

I totally identify with being an Empath. My mother was / still is a sociopath. My husband definitely has
narcissistic tendencies. I often wonder what my life would be life if I lived with someone like me rather than
someone so different....like bathing in a lovely cool pool I imagine after having spent 20 years dipping my
toe in scalding water to check the bath every day! 

[Focus]

sparkle, thank you so much, I loved that article!

[Focus]

Wow interesting. I had never heard of the word ' Empath' before I read this. Thanks.
Totally me. I wonder if there are more than the expected Empaths on this site? Maybe
they suffer more in Meno due to a heightened awareness of their body/mortality/need for reassurance.
Or we are more ready to talk about it and admit struggling. (A strength I think)

I totally identify with being an Empath. My mother was / still is a sociopath. My husband definitely has
narcissistic tendencies. I often wonder what my life would be life if I lived with someone like me rather than
someone so different....like bathing in a lovely cool pool I imagine after having spent 20 years dipping my
toe in scalding water to check the bath every day!

squeaker, I don't know. Tbh, I think an (unaware) empath wouldn't be attracted to another empath.

I think there is a journey of awareness that needs to happen before we can leave go of the desire to help and fix people, to fit around their personalities and needs, and to eventually know our own selves and be at ease with our own selves.

I had a father with a severe antisocial personality disorder and was then married to an alcoholic for 15 years. I fit into the mould perfectly.

After he left (4 years ago) I found it difficult to bathe i that lovely cool pool you speak of. I still find it hard, after 4 years, counselling, lots of introspective work and personal development on my part. The biggest struggle isn't with other people though, it's with myself.

[squeaker99]

Very wise Focus. The bit about struggling with yourself.
I think I am (unfairly) comparing my husband with a fantasy Empath husband who
(probably) doesn't exist. Whom with I could live this fantasy perfect peaceful life.

If I step back it is probably his demeanor : think Sean Bean like northern 'spade a spade'
that rubs me up the wrong way as much as what he actually says.

I dated a very serious, quietly spoken accountant when we split up for a year before we married.
I was bored before 6 months were out and he turned out to be a right stalking nut job.

If I lived more in the ' now' rather than in the past already gone or the future not lived yet much of this
would be redundant!  I feel a New Year resolution coming on.

[Focus]

squeaker, sounds like you would enjoy some meditation? There are loads of guided ones on YouTube. They really help being you into the present, while honouring (but not be overwhelmed by) your feelings.

I too am very anxious (I have PTSD), but meditation helps. I've also discovered just how much physical exercise helps in the past few years. It can really help shift your mindset.

[Sparrow]

I think it could do.  I know of a mother and daughter who have very similar trates, although the daughter would deny it.

I suspect it is at least partly learnt behaviour.

[jillydoll]

Definitely Avalon.
It's what they're taught from an early age.
They, also have to have the trait in them too.


Luckily Birdy, you've escaped it. 👍🏻 Good on ya girl! 😉