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[squeaker99]

I've just had a look at Cadgwith and it looks beautiful but I totally get the isolation thing. I'm a good 3 hours from the nearest big civilisation.  We were all set to move to Falmouth a few years ago then our house sale fell through and it all went to pot. I see Cadgwith has a thriving all male choir! Very unusual, we are desperate for men in our choir.

I went through a phase of trying to fight my round of anxious/negative thoughts but after
doing some Mindfullness Apps realised that it is best to just accept them. So now I
see them just as what they are ' a thought' like cars that drive past. I try to step back
and concentrate on doing things rather than get caught up in them.

Also don't be too hard on yourself if you only two one or two things on your list - even one is
great some days.  Remember to give yourself a big tick or smiley not just think ' look at the stuff
I haven't done'.

Going through personal crisis whilst in Peri is very hard as everything is ramped up. I was dreading
Christmas as am estranged from my parents but am determined to enjoy the day - even if it is just having
a nice turkey sandwich sitting outside or taking some mince pies round to a neighbour I don't see much.

[Cadgwith Girl]

Hi Squeaker,
Thankyou! I shall bear in mind your comments about trying to be positive about Christmas Day itself! At least I won't be on my own for the day - I am thankful for that.
I really hope things will get easier or at least more bearable.  Yes, it's hell breaking up with someone after 17 years and trying to cope with perimenopause at the same time.
I didn't know about Cadgwith having an all male choir -perhaps I ought to take a look!
Is there any way you can resolve things with your parents?
xx

[CLKD]

We currently have strange C.mases ........ we stay at Mum's house and cook our meal on C.mas Eve taking cold to eat the next day: we visit her at the Home in the morning, get into our car and eat our food whilst she gets fed in the Home  .  We do get in invite from the Staff but
really    then back into Mum's room to open any presents.

It's not good to make too many years the same, as we get into a rut that no one dares to break    . 

When really ill.  I made lists. Every evening 'cos that was my best time.  Not getting dressed or washed but feeding the animals, making breakfast; anything that I could tick off to see what I had achieved by evening.  Those things not done went onto the next list ;-).

[AgathaC]

Hello all. Squeaker99 - you make a good point about accepting worries and working around them.
I've come to realise that health anxiety can and does strike me even if I eat week, sleep well, exercise, do my CBT exercises, etc etc. Yes, these things help but when HA pops up for me, I can't avoid it.
So, I'm trying a new tack which is accepting that I may always worry, sometimes incessantly, but I need to move on to the next thing ASAP. Keep physically busy.
I've read your other notes, Cadgwith, and agree that the perimenopause can be completely s**t for some of us!
In your case, one thing at a time, for sure.
I often say this, and I'm not some kind of religious crazy person, but do you have a church you could go to? They often have groups that really need members. I got involved with volunteering at a local food hub through a church. There are dance and keep fit classes in the hall, and lots of Christmas events. It may not sound glamorous but it may be just what you need to build your confidence back up. Wishing you all the best x

[Cadgwith Girl]

Hi AgathaC,

Thankyou for your thoughts. I shall look into what my local churches are doing.

Bless you all for your continued comments of support and encouragement.  They are very much needed xxx

[CLKD]

Morning!  Little steps.  Think about options and how you can apply them.  In the meantime, sort some of the boxes?  3 crates to hand: his, yours to keep, charity ;-). I can put off sorting for years  'cos once I open the box I have to find places for stuff