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[Cassie]

Ladies I am hearing far too often, of relationships going pear shaped. when the husband/partner turns 60. Once again today, I have heard from a mutual friend who has moved out of her home temporarily as she cannot live with her OH since he turned 60. I noticed subtle changes in mine as well when turning 60, perhaps it is today with dealing with their mortality? I do not feel that enough attention is given to the changes that take place in males as they age, not only physically but mentally. So many of that age tend to have late mid life crises, and often start behaving in ways that are new and can be extremely upsetting to their partners and families.
Have other ladies experienced changes in their men, when turning 60? It seems to be a common phenomenon, I see so many relationships go through turmoil, often the ladies are also in meno and the combination seems to lend itself to troubled waters 

[Sparrow]

Yep.  Mine is slowly turning into his Dad.  I didn't like his Dad much so a bit worrying.

I keep pointing it out to him but he can't see it. 

[Perinowpost]

Shadyglade ditto.  My FIL was miserable and I often think if my husband turns out like him (and I can see the signs) I won't be able to stand it!x

[getting_old]

Yep.  Mine is slowly turning into his Dad.  I didn't like his Dad much so a bit worrying.

I keep pointing it out to him but he can't see it. 

Mine too, and I absolutely hated his dad, who was a nasty bully. At least he recognises what his dad was, so doesn't want to be like him, but it's hard when it's the only role model they had as children 

[Sparrow]

I think the answer is a 'man shed'.  With power a TV and a fridge.  You can just take them when necessary then.

Sorted

[dangermouse]

Many men bury their psychological issues using distraction when they're younger.

When they get to this age they often pop back up due to less time to distract themselves which they've done so well during their younger adult life!

It's a good time for therapy if they're open to it, which can be self help through reading. Many men are rational thinkers and so are good at therapy once they invest themselves in it. Dealing with the ‘I'm not good enough' is always a good place to start.

[Pennyfarthing]

My husband says he is going to retire at Xmas. he has his own business.  I am dreading it to be honest. I like my “me” time.  he assures me that he has 101 things  he wants to do when he stops work like decorating, riding his motorbike, clearing out and possibly selling his workshop.  he is always busy and never sits around doing nothing so I am hoping he carries on like that.  fingers crossed or there will be trouble! 

[getting_old]

Well my mother got along with OH's father, however I have spent the last few years trying to ensure that I am nothing like my mother and plan to continue doing so. She made OH's father look like a saint.
Definitely thinking the man shed is the way to go, preferably with a full bathroom and somewhere he can sleep!

[Lanzalover]

Our situation is different in that OH works from home and I go out to work.

So I'm quite used him being there all the time and like it that's he's always got the kettle on when I come in at lunchtime and he makes the tea while I make my lunch ( don't get back until after 2pm so he's already had his lunch) we then sit and chat while I have my lunch then he goes to back to work.

I actually rather like him being there although he does go out and play golf and also goes running. But he's handy for bringing in the supermarket shop from the car, and lifting and shifting thing when needed.

So in our case he's probably dreading me retiring 😂

Lanzalover x

[CLKD]

Nope.

Retirement couldn't get here fast enough - we are now doing the things together that we planned 4 when we got together in 1970.

But we haven't children to consider.  Which can split families as specific gender roles take place.  Parents then lose track of themselves as individuals as well as in togetherness.

Hobbies: even those I don't take part in I go along to ........ so when DH is fishing I go bird watching.

[CLKD]

Joined at the hip.  Us 

I get your point but ...........

[Sparrow]

My husband worries me.  If I popped my clogs tomorrow he'd be stuffed.  My sons have told me that I can't go first and have to take better care of myself. 

[CLKD]

We have chores each - he doesn't do anything in the utility room but could - if pushed  etc.; he cooks, can wield a hoover, floor mop ........

[Sparrow]

We have chores each - he doesn't do anything in the utility room but could - if pushed  etc.; he cooks, can wield a hoover, floor mop ........

Can he come and teach mine

[CLKD]

It's easy  .......... hand him the machine and show him how ? 

He often tells me that he is going to hoover - I tell him to stand it ready one day; switch it on the next; push it round the room the next day 

Has mine changed.  Apart from a beer belly  not a lot. Thinning hair, to be expected.  Looks better than contemporaries of his age    ....