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[Chihuahuachick]

I am 3 years and 4 months into perimenopause.

I haven't had children out of choice plus I lost my eye as a young adolescent, my counsellor said that the trauma of losing my eye may have made my mind up not to have children.  I think that I didn't want children which runs in the family to be honest.

The last few months I have noticed that I am feeling more tuned into the fact that having children hasn't happened for me. It's really odd to describe, I don't want children and I'm not regretting that I haven't had them, but I just kind of feel that I am aware that I haven't had them? I know it sounds odd and I cannot put it any other way than I have mentioned.

Can anyone explain this feeling to me or has anyone else felt like this?

❤❤

[CLKD]

I made my decision at the age of 8.  The World has never been good enough for mine!

When my sister handed me her six week old son in the 1980s I didn't put him down.  For 3 days  .  It didn't make me broody though.  It was lovely to hand him back.

I haven't missed out.  I know in recent years that I would never have made a good parent due to intense anxiety, I had to give the cats away as I was unable to care for them.  Not easy to do that with children!

I don't understand children. I'm not keen on them being around.  In some situations they really annoy me 

I am mid 60s.  No regrets.

[Tinkerbell]

I think that may be a normal reaction to be honest, i have also heard that the ovaries go in overdrive in the peri meno stage, not sure if that is true but if it does perhaps that may explain why people who haven't had children may feel like you do.

It is becoming far more common for women to decide children aren't for them, two relatives of mine decided motherhood was not going to be part of their life, me on the other hand have half a dozen of them, spend my weekends being a taxi driver!

[Whatsupwiththis]

Oh my Tinkerbell....6?  Yikes.  Like some women on this forum I too chose not to have children due to a bipolar mother and never regretted it.  When I was in my mid 40's there was this feeling of being inadequate but soon dissipated when a friend of mine son had numerous drug problems and made her life HELL!  Nope never regretted it.☺

[Otter15]

I decided as a teenager I never wanted children and have never regretted it. However, I do remember a time when it was obvious i was going into the menopause sort of standing still and looking back at that decision. I didn't feel regret, more a realisation of the choice I'd made. A sort of 'taking stock'time.

I've shared nephews and a niece and was a secondary school teacher. Always glad to wave them off at the end of the day! I've done lots of travelling and lived in different countries, which wouldn't have been possible if I'd had children.

However fulfilled we are, maybe we just have moments where we stand and consider life. Bit philosophical I know - sorry!!!

[Chihuahuachick]

Thanks for your response everyone.

I think that Tinkerbell is right about the ovaries going into overdrive in peri. I think thst is what has happened. When I see babies or watch one born every minute I sort of feel like I'm zooming in. It's a dead weird zooming in feeling and I'm sure it's due to this peri stage.

I will just have to ride it out like I have with peri stages so far. It will be ok I'm sure.

If anyone else has any advice on the subject I would appreciate it. It would be interesting to hear If It is actually due to the peri stage.

It's so comforting to know that the forum and it's members are here to help, thank you xxxxxx ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[CLKD]

Probably an age issue too.  We can see how far we have come and where we are gong ........... I have no regrets about my decision, do you?

[KiltedCupid]

I do have children but distinctly remember a time when I reached post meno that I thought, that's it, no more children. It was sad, I have plenty going on in my life and happy to have more time and freedom to do what I want but it's a transition and a big stage in our lives whether we want/have children or not. We shouldn't ignore those feelings, they're obviously connected to hormones, yet again! It's a different stage of life we're entering at meno and worthy of at least a little self indulgent reflection.