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[kayellvee]

I've just remembered, I had a telephone session with a supposed eating disorder specialist, which also was unhelpful.  I feel that it's me, that I'm not explaining things properly or my expectations are too high or something, because no-one seems to understand why I do what I do.

[kayellvee]

Your own doctor should be trying to help you – trying to find resources that are a good fit for your issue.

I think this is my fault because I haven't addressed it properly with the doctor. However, I wrote everything down today and printed it off and I'm going to give it to the doc to read when I eventually get to see her.  The problem is that I haven't addressed it before it's become a crisis and when it is a crisis, I can't explain myself clearly enough, so they just see anxiety and prescribe anti-Ds.

[kayellvee]

I've just remembered, I had a telephone session with a supposed eating disorder specialist, which also was unhelpful.  I feel that it's me, that I'm not explaining things properly or my expectations are too high or something, because no-one seems to understand why I do what I do.

It's not you.
I promise you that.
It's them. Every time.

I've had therapists explain the logic to me, how people can manage without food, etc and I know all that but it doesn't make any difference.  Just telling myself that people manage without food so I can too is pointless.

Also, I saw the therapist that I've been seeing last week and we talked about the food and he gave me an exercise to do. I started it that evening and felt really good about the first part of it, but was struggling with the second part so I left it for a couple of days.  Anyway, I was really struggling with everything towards the end of the week and starting to feel suicidal generally, so I emailed him and told him and his response was that I needed to learn how to self-soothe the anxiety because I was looking for an adult to make it all better.  Which...may have been true but I didn't think it was terribly compassionate, especially as the hormone issue is making it harder to self-soothe than normal.

[kayellvee]

I did say exactly those words (not just struggling, but suicidal) and felt that I was being chastised like an attention-seeking child.

[kayellvee]

We're all like that in a crisis. Well, I am. You know, I felt so exhausted and hopeless on Monday when I took a call from the meno nurse, who basically told me she isn't going to help me, that I just said, 'ok then, thanks', and ended the call.

Same when I phoned the doctors and got the grumpy, unhelpful receptionist, I just hung up because I couldn't cope at all with her attitude.

I'm sorry the meno nurse is being unhelpful with you, BTW, I honestly feel that because people aren't going through the same thing and they're feeling OK, that they forget to empathise.

[sheila99]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. For the hrt problem - the part you're allergic to is the carrier not oestrogen itself. You could see if you can find a patch that uses a different carrier. Or else stick to gel with a different prog such as provera. It might be different for an eating disorder but my gp will do a telephone appointment for hrt. Perhaps ask the surgery why they can't do this? I can't think of a reason why you need to go there.

[kayellvee]

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. For the hrt problem - the part you're allergic to is the carrier not oestrogen itself. You could see if you can find a patch that uses a different carrier. Or else stick to gel with a different prog such as provera. It might be different for an eating disorder but my gp will do a telephone appointment for hrt. Perhaps ask the surgery why they can't do this? I can't think of a reason why you need to go there.

Sheila, I think it's because it's a different doctor- mine is on holiday for two weeks.

[jefner]

That's it, really.  Feeling very anxious, stressed, depressed.  Need to see the doc but finding it hard to get an appointment that I'm comfortable with (agoraphobia issues coming into play here).  Legs really heavy today, finding it hard to walk up and down stairs.  Not on HRT at the minute, tried patches but got an allergic reaction then tried gel/utro but couldn't cope with the utro, as it messed my stomach up and that is a phobia trigger for me. Feel hopeless and trapped due to an eating disorder which is making anxiety worse.  Can't decide whether to try HRT again or an SSRI to help with the anxiety.  Really wish doctors did home visits 

I can relate, I have very similiar issues to you and I think my hrt is just making my anxiety worse and bringing back my depression.  It's affecting my agoraphobia issues as well

[kayellvee]

Hugs, jefner.  I literally just replied to your thread in the main part of the forum    It's shit, isn't it?

[kayellvee]

Well, I'm not currently on anything at all - had to stop the utro after 2 days and doc (in phone convo) told me to stop the gel as well, so haven't had gel since Monday and utro since Sunday. 

Tried an Epsom salts bath last night for the 1st time because my legs had been really achy yesterday - it did relax me and last night was the best night's sleep I've had all week, so I'll try that again tonight maybe chuck in a bit of lavender as well!  I think I may need some supplementation, magnesium, VitD etc - I did take my liquid B vits this morning, must get better at doing this more consistently.

Really bad nausea this morning though, although I felt better afterwards.  I often used to get this the day before my period started (although not for months) and then it would go once I was bleeding.  I think it's partly anxiety as well though.

Feel a smidge better in myself today, though still really stressed and sore.

[kayellvee]

How about glycinate?  I think someone recommended that on another thread.

My main worry with supplementing is that I have stage 3 kidney disease and I know that potassium is something that I should avoid.

[kayellvee]

The main thing I've got off that list is tingling - I get it in my hands.  I've been aware of it for a while, but didn't think it was anything really serious and it's listed as a peri symptom anyway. 

For the past few days, I've been suffering with bloating and initially, but not now, constipation but I put that down to the utro because it happened after I'd been taking it.  I've had a tiny bit of toe cramping this week but only twice and very short-lived.  Otherwise, that's really it.  Legs have been bad the past couple of days but I thnk that might be stress as much as anything else or inflammation of some kind.  It went off last night but returned after breakfast this morning, weirdly.

[Sharon J]

Afternoon ladies,   hope you are OK today kayellvee?

Great tip about magnesium Birdy, I wonder if I can take it with my other meds.   This forum really is a bloody life saver xx

[kayellvee]

Bit better in myself, thanks Sharon.  Feel more physically tense though but mentally a bit better.

[Sharon J]

The physical tense thing is horrible, but I'm glad your a little better in yourself kayellvee . It's probably being able to chat on here helping a bit, definitely helping me a moment  x

Right Birdy I'm off to pharmacy later to ask about magnesium, I'm on lisinopril for  High BP, fluoxitine for  aniexty and everol sequi patch on my bum for  the crazy hormones.   Maybe it's just what I need. Thanks x