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[Nas]

Still waiting for oncology to inform GP what HRT I can trial. But I'm so so tired and drained. Cannot sleep due to being permanently  hot and irritated. Anxiety is through the roof. Feeling generally incapable; even bottled a job interview on Friday due to feeling inadequate! Start a new job Tuesday, stressing about that now and the drive to the training centre. God when will it stop?? Life is just about grinding to a sharp halt! And my brain won't switch off, not ever. Why?

Sorry for the rant. Just exhausted and it's only  10.30am 

[jillydoll]

Hi Nas
So sorry to hear you feel like crap! I know and all of us on here, know exactly what your going through. How long have you been waiting to hear? ....maybe give them a ring to see what's going on, and if they can get a shifty on? It's no joke having to wait!

Breathe! ......take a little time for yourself, try and calm yourself, do some deep breathing, is there anything you like doing? To distract myself from the dreaded anxiety, I play music, or watch films, getting out walking helps clear the head, anything, that takes the emphasis off the anxiety....it's the lack of hormones that's doing it......do you know where you are in this meno crap? Peri or post? .....
Take your time on Tuesday, focus on the job, ....and keep breathing, slowly....your be fine. 🤞
Someone will post whose got better advice than me, hang on in there, .......jd xx

[CLKD]

Hi! how about reminding the Oncology Dept.? 

[jaypo]

So sorry you're feeling so bad nas, I agree with Jill & clkd,give oncology a ring in the morning,it's no fun having to wait like that
Let us know how you get on

[Nas]

Hi all,
Good to hear from you..
I have emailed the oncologists secretary, requesting that he send through the HRT info to the GP and have booked another apppointment for next week to (hopefully!) see a more experienced and knowledgeable GP.

Jilly, I am not sure where I am in in the meno crap TBH. I have just turned 48 and last period was August 2017, although the symptoms started around January of this year. I have requested bloods several times and they keep telling me that blood tests are inaccurate for menopause and you are either peri or post - great help!

I think the anxiety is by far the worst symptom and it really does impact on my life. However, it is probably compounded by situational stresses, such as new job and looking for a new job as new job does not pay enough, but something is better than nothing right now), kids who demand all my money and just general 'stuff'. I just feel what ever I do, it is wrong or not good enough. I try to be patient and do the right thing. I am kind and listen to others, but it feels I haven't achieved enough in life and time is running out! I constantly regret leaving teaching over a decade ago, because I could have probably retired by now, on a decent pension. Instead of which, I am now battling to find jobs which pay half decent. What is my point? I think I am just reflecting on life so far and dealing with the meno at the same time!

Okay,time to deal with HMRC, breathe and breathe again..

Thanks again :-)

[CLKD]

When Dad was too ill to work Mum laid out the weekly income on the kitchen table.  She pointed out what was spent on food, comics etc. and what we would have to stop buying in order to make ends meet.  From having 3 comics each for example, we had to cut down to 1 each so we choose something different ....... the money we spent was removed from the kitty so that it was obvious what was left for food etc..

Maybe try this with your kids?  'demand'  - who is the adult here  .  Put the facts in front of them, the sooner children learn to budget the better - it's a Life skill rarely taught as parents seem afraid to put the truth of income/out-come in front of them  .  A simple 'there isn't enough money this week' should suffice. 

Cooking bulk and freezing can help too.

Let us know what the Secretary comes up with ;-).  Blood tests are reliably un-reliable - menopause is literally the last period.  Peri- is when periods wax and wane as well as other symptoms: flushes, tiredness, crankiness, dryness ........

You left teaching for a reason?  Think back? 

[jillydoll]

Hi Nas
Been there, done that! In regards to life's just passed me by,.we can't go back, (wish we could. ) we are where we are, our lives are what they are now, not what they could've been.
Please stop beating yourself up, it's negative, and it's NOT going to change a thing!
Yeah life's a struggle, but you've a loving family, and that what matters, meno brings soo much unhappiness, it's hard to believe hormones can do that, and yes, reflecting is one of them. All you can do is your best, full stop, no one asks for more,most of all this is/was in our heads. It does get better, but I know it's a struggle.
I'm glad you got in touch with oncology department, maybe now they'll get a shifty on.
And ‘your point' is to be mom to those kids of yours, even if you had nothing, they'd still love you, no matter what. It's not what you buy them, it's you being you who they love.
Keep posting, get it all out, it does help. Try and get some ME time....and good luck for Tuesday. Remember.......BREATHE......xxxx

[Nas]

Thanks jilly and CLKD, I really appreciate your replies.

Yesterday went okay (ish). I started to feel rather paniked driving home on the busy dual carriage way in the pouring rain and wind and had to take many deep breaths. Other than that, felt quite proud of the fact that I did day one of induction without being a complete wreck.

Your advice re; not looking back and only forward, is so true jilly. I am trying to 'embrace; this new stage of life, but it isn't easy. That said, you are righT, I can oly do my best. The kids need to realise this and appreciate the things they do have and get. I am starting to be far more blunt about our finances and remind them that while their friends may get what they want at the drop of a hat, this does not make them a better person!

CLKD, yes there was a reason why I left teaching.

[Nas]

Whoops,sent too soon. I was sick of being judged and scrutinised. An OFSTED 'outstanding' teacher for so long, but the goal posts move all the time. Burn out hit me. The rest is history!

[CLKD]

My Mum ranted when the Ofsted idea was muted :How dare they consider that I need to be watched whilst teaching, how can a non-teacher even guess what teachers actually do!"

Sit them down, make that list, get the pennies across the table so that they can see what is available - how old are they?

[LuLu71]

Hi Nas, I just read your posts in this thread and just checking in to say hello and I hope you are feeling better this week. I hope the anxiety levels are down and you are doing well adjusting to a new job  Here for you!

[jillydoll]

Hi Nas
Just read your post about telling the kids about what their friends get doesn't make them better people! Couldn't have put it better myself! Tell them, tell them, tell them......
I'm fed up with this younger generation getting what they want and parading around like their gods gift or something! Money doesn't buy you happiness. If you look after the things you have, and BE happy, that's all you need!
God, I wish someone had told me that years ago. Instead, I worried ‘ what would people think' kinda thing!.....now in hindsight, it was worry for totally and absolutely nothing!
It is hard, but if I had my time over again, I'd change that aspect of buying for my kids at the drop of a hat! And I'd probably have more money now,!. 🤨
Hope your feeling better, and hope they get a shifty on for you at the hospital....they need a 

Take care....keep posting....jd xx

[Nas]

Hi all,
Thanks once again for your lovely replies; they have cheered me up 

I went to see a different GP yesterday, in the hope that the oncologist had written to the surgery, but alas this was not the case 
She proceeded to tell me that she did not feel that even the oncologist was the correct person to prescribe HRT and that I needed to see a meno specialist. Where do I find one? I am Cheshire based, so will start looking around I guess.  I cannot afford private right now though. GP prescribed setraline and asked to me come back in 4 weeks to review. In the mean time, I am still suffering and the anxiety persists. I don't know where to go from here? I have asked the oncologists secretaty to forward him an email from myself, outlining what they are saying at the surgery and have requested him to send over a prescription for me, but I doubt that will even happen.

I am feeling angry and frustrated, as HRT could make me feel better (it may not) but they are not giving me the opportunity to even try.

[CLKD]

Oncology or who, does it really matter - getting advice is what is important.

Your GP should be contacting who she thinks is necessary, not fobbing you off!!  Menospecialists so often are not 'specialists'  .......

What is 'setraline' supposed to do? 

[Nas]

I hear what you say CLKD and agree. She says start 'digging' to see who you can find to help.

Sertraline? No clue. Helps with hot flushes?

I can't be bothered. Tired and drained from it all and have got nowhere. They don't care about my quality of life clearly.