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[EleanorB]

I have written on here before about the devastating impact of menopause on my cognition. I would love to hear for the first time or again from others who have had to  give up work or majorly reduce hours due too peri or meno. Either if you're still in that place or have recovered sufficiently to go back.

My sorry tale is:

 I was studying to be a therapist alongside my day job for 3 years during which peri really hit. During my last year of studies I had to stop working as due to increasing brainfog and memory issues I could no longer do both. It was hard enough just to finish out my studies. I am 50 and nearly 2 years into meno now. I use three quarters of an evorel 50 patch been doing this for 5 months.no progesterone due to chronic migraine - my womb is being regularly monitored.  It has helped with the mood swings/loss of confidence and enormously with the hot flushes and had a small impact on brainfog and memory but not half as much as i'd like. After graduating things were so bad I couldn't work at all for six months. I also suffer from migraine and this ramped up majorly, now helped by occipital nerve blocks. I am now doing a couple of hours work a week from home and hoping to increase my hours. I support myself and have been forced to use up nearly all my savings.

It is very possible my meno cognitive issues have been far worse due to a long migraine history, migraine can also cause brainfog and impact memory and meno can make migraine worse. However I've read others here say their cognitive symptoms are awful. I am about to try testosterone but in the meantime just felt the need to connect or reconnect with others who are going or have been through this unable to work nightmare. I love my job and am so frustrated and fed up that challenging my brain or any mental stress can often cause pea soup brainfog and short term memory issues. Prior to now I was the type to push through and work with most illnesses if I had to. I had an mri over a year ago, at that time it showed nothing ominous.

I also have numerous other meno symptoms but the problematic cognition and impact on work is by far the worst.

[Rosie77]

Hi Eleanor, I can relate to your story.  I had to close my home business at the end of 2017.  Absolutely devastated by my symptoms.  I was diagnosed with vestibular migraine in January.  My migraines are bad too.  I am going to see about nerve block injections as well.  As my migraines start at the base of my skull and take over.  I have been dizzy off balanced, lightheaded, sick, fatigued 24/7 for nearly 2 years. Meds make me worse.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. My cognitive skills are terrible. My job was very physically and mentally, I am a hazard now.  I miss my work, clients, the money.  My husband is keeping us afloat, and I too have had to dip into my shallow retirement funds.  I stated HRT in March.  I am soon to be 42.  These should be the most productive years of my life and I feel terrible.  It happened literally overnight.  One day fine, the next not.   

[Dotty]

Yes I had to resign from my teaching job as I was too ill to work and misdiagnosed by doctors as having ME/CFS x

[EleanorB]

Hi Rosie and dotty,

Thanks for getting back to me, makes me feel less alone with this problem.

Rosie, I got vestibular migraine in my early thirties, that was a previous time I was unable to work for about a year and a half. Migraine is an expensive condition I didn't get my diagnosis till about a year in, tried countless drugs until I hit on propranolol which kept me stable with the odd relapse for many years and able to work. Propranolol stopped working during peri, I tried a tms device which helped with dizziness but did nothing for the headaches, so stopped.  Although I had headaches in my early twenties, the headache aspect didn't resurface till meno, before that it was all the vestibular symptoms u describe. The new ‘fun' aspect now in meno,  migraine likes to change things up, is, alongside brainfog which i've Had before, is memory issues. I wouldn't say memory loss, as if reminded of things I can recall them, but just a terrible memory that makes me terrified of dementia. My neuro who is a big cheese in the migraine field says migraine can do this. I think (hope) it's the combo of meno brain and migraine brain. The occipital nerve blocks, i've has 2, have been brilliant for the headaches but done nothing much for the brainfog or memory. Although, that said, after a punishing headache the brainfog and memory are worse so I guess it does help. I am waiting for me next neuro appt but on the nhs these waits take forever. I might be allowed to try aimovig the new type of migraine drug, don't know, or maybe Botox. I would do nearly anything to improve my cognition, although the new drug, aimovig, takes 3 months to get out your system, so if it has adverse effects that could be bad. Touch wood these days the vestibular symptoms are infrequent and less of a problem.

I just want my life back so badly. My heart goes out to you that u are dealing with this early forties. Touch wood for you that when others like me are in the thick of it at 50, u will be done and dusted with it.

[Rosie77]

Thank you Eleanor.  It took me a year to navigate my way to a diagnosis as well.  My own research as my drs just kept telling me anxiety   . I was diagnosed at an eye and ear hospital by an otoneuro.  Unfortunately, he is not managing me very well with regards to the migraines.  I have an appointment in July with a neurologist who supposedly is migraine literate.  4 month wait...I'm in the US.  I too want to try an injection migraine med. The dr who diagnosed VM told me it's too expensive and my insurance will not cover.  He is wrong, I have tried and failed 5 meds already, mostly due to tolerance issues...so I should be eligible.  Hopefully the new neurologist is more proactive.  I have heard people have had success on propronol...however, My BP runs on the lower end.  I hope you are right and time will just have to heal this.  It came outta nowhere and it can go the hell back!   Stay well

[Minniemouse]

Hello Eleanor,
I can't offer you any practical help but just wanted you to know you are not alone. I can honestly say that the feeling of loss of brain cells is by far the worst symptom for me. Not only can I not remember things but I simply don't know I need to in the 1st place-like joined up thinking. I can go off to do some shopping and come home with no money, without connecting that I needed to get cash at the same time. Things like that. It's awful having to work like this. My job is intense and requires concentration, not to mention remembering facts. If I could give it up I would, as it adds to the stress by trying to function normally.

[EleanorB]

Hi Rosie and Minnie,

Rosie, migraine does change all the time and the right drug can work wonders. You can't cure migraine but you can manage it. I think I had at least 9 failed drug attempts before finding one that worked for a long while. Are you aware of vestibular migraine professional (strange name refers to the fact it only allows discussion of proven, science based treatment methods) the support group on Facebook. Lots of other sufferers there.

Minnie, I so know what you mean re the stress of trying to lead a normal life making this worse. I think the fact that meno doesn't respond to ‘pushing through' but just gets worse is what is so awful. I know some people look sceptical when I talk about not being able to work, like I just need to get off my backside and get into a routine and things would right themselves. What people who aren't close to me don't appreciate is I tried that and just got worse. It's like menopause responds best to a completely challenge and stress free existence which actually drives me nuts as I am used to being very mentally active and engaged with things.

[pants46]

EleanorB, I've had 4 weeks off sick from work and am due to go back tomorrow. I don't think my Dr will sign me off for any longer. Now I'm on ADs and HRT, I guess I just have to get on with it 
Only one of my friends knows I've been off sick. My parents and my best friend don't know. I don't want my parents to worry. And my bf is a no nonsense pocket rocket, who just battles through. She wouldn't understand and I'd get a lecture. I also feel terribly guilty. All I've done for a month is sleep and watch box sets (which I can't remember !!).
Work has been really good about things. But I've only been in the job 6 months. I feel like they've bought a lemon. 
I thought about quiting a number if times. But I got this job after 18 months of not working, after being made redundant. I think if I quit now, I'll probably never work again. Or at best will end up working on the tills at the local co-op. Not that that's not a worthy job, but I'm a senior legal professional !! and I'm only 46.
I'm also single, so have to fend for myself. It does make me so sad that maybe my best years are behind me. On so many levels 
God, this is turning into a real pity party. Sorry. xx

[Karen max]

Hi ladies
I feel the very same I'm a nurse and had to give up work up 2 years ago as I just couldn't cope with long shifts and demands of my job
I'm 51 almost 52 yrs old and this has been going in from I was 41 yrs old
I'm nice post menopause coming 6 yrs and I honestly though by this stage I'd be over the worse part of it no it don't look like it !!!
I go on a family holiday in few weeks and it's giving me nightmares as I honestly don't know how I'm going to cope , I've no motivation what so ever , no interest in doing anything at all no get up and go type thing !!
I'm now thinking is this the way I will be the rest of my days ?
I have had every menopause symptoms known my brain feels like mush I can't even speak on the phone I get my words so mixed up 😡

Bloody hell this is just awful and it just seems so relentless
I've started a new hrt few weeks back and I will give it the 3 months to see if it helps but up to now I'm 7 weeks into using it and I feel crap
So much for looking forward to getting my kids to to adults and enjoying a free life to myself ...

Never did I ever think menopause could cause all these awful feeling and symptoms


Kaz x

[MicheleMaBelle]

Hi EleanorB- sorry to hear about your troubles. I finally had to give up my stressful job 2 years ago. Worked full time, lots of travelling, meetings, presentations, pitches and I had to be technically on the ball. I just couldn't cope, lost all my confidence and could hardly get myself from A to B without having a panic attack. I felt very unwell indeed,physically and mentally, went off sick with depression, hardly left the house for 10 months. I was a shadow of my former self. I eventually decided that I couldn't continue working in my current role, as no allowances were ever made.i worked for a FTSE 100 company.
 I negotiated a package to leave and haven't worked since. Fortunately I was able to do this. I was 57.
It's not been an easy journey but it's been a lot better since I've stopped working. I don't think I'll ever be back to my old self though. I just wish employers would make more allowances and understand that some of their female employees struggle badly with menopause related symptoms. X

[Rosie77]

Hi Rosie and Minnie,

Rosie, migraine does change all the time and the right drug can work wonders. You can't cure migraine but you can manage it. I think I had at least 9 failed drug attempts before finding one that worked for a long while. Are you aware of vestibular migraine professional (strange name refers to the fact it only allows discussion of proven, science based treatment methods) the support group on Facebook. Lots of other sufferers there.

Minnie, I so know what you mean re the stress of trying to lead a normal life making this worse. I think the fact that meno doesn't respond to ‘pushing through' but just gets worse is what is so awful. I know some people look sceptical when I talk about not being able to work, like I just need to get off my backside and get into a routine and things would right themselves. What people who aren't close to me don't appreciate is I tried that and just got worse. It's like menopause responds best to a completely challenge and stress free existence which actually drives me nuts as I am used to being very mentally active and engaged with things.

Thanks Eleanor!  I will look up that page.  I have a prescription for venlaflaxine which I asked my GP for.  There's a dizzy dr in Chicago, US that swears by it.  Also, I poke around a vertigo site for info.  Also, we have VEDA that has some good info.  Just so disheartening that people suffer for years before getting a diagnosis, then years thereafter.

 I agree with you about not “looking sick”.  People say I look fine.  They don't know that sometimes I throw up after driving because of all the motion or simply going to a store causes a migraine flair.  I just read a story about a 75 yr old gentleman from the UK who had Ménières disease and ended his life. Bless his soul. Thank you again Eleanor, always helpful to chat...all you ladies are wonderful! 

[racjen]

Hi Eleanor, yes I lost my job working in a library 6 months ago, having been off with severe menopausal depression and anxiety for a year. There's no way I could work right now - I never know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next; anxiety can leave me literally paralysed, and the depression has robbed me of all interest and motivation in the things I used to love. I had a very sudden chemotherapy-induced menopause nearly 3 years ago, and my symptoms have gradually got worse since then. I try not to think too much about what the future holds - right now I just desperately want the sociable confident spontaneous person I used to be back again....

[EleanorB]

It makes me feel less alone with this horror to hear from you all, so thank you. Although it's both saddening and jaw dropping all over again how hidden this is culturally until it hits you and suddenly it's like you go through a door into a place with all the other hidden sufferers suffering.

I also wonder if I will ever be the person I was. The cognitive issues have made me anti social, I find it hard to meet up with anything other than s couple of my closest friends as I am sick of having forgotten what i've already told them about my life and worrying that i'm Going to repeat myself. It robs me of spontaneity.

Rosie, I tried venlafaxine, didn't work for me but I know it can be very effective for others. It's real trial and error with the drugs.

Birds, really fascinated u have also made the sugar connection, I have tried to stop sugar and refined carbs as much as possible as there is no question it causes my memory to get way way worse and my brain fog too, it's really tough as I have a very sweet tooth. Having to be a ferociously healthy eater all the time gets really dull. Fortunately I never enjoyed alcohol so haven't had to give that up as i didn't drink anyway.

I am keeping my fingers crossed that testosterone might help my brain, I know it's helped some other women.

[squeaker99]

I am 4 years into Peri and can relate to all of this. IBS/brain fog/anxiety overload. For me it comes and goes but the longer I am in Peri the 'madness' weeks seem to last longer.   When I am feeling not so bad I find it easier to do the CBT/Mindfullness/jogging/eat well etc. When mentally I am tired and foggy everything seems hopeless. My brain fog /stress/ anxiety gets so bad off and on (every 6 months or so) that I end up at the GP thinking I have dementia/MS/all sorts.   I was like that 3 weeks ago but now feel better again (for no apparent reason or change in habits/new medication).  I have recently started on Clonidine help my anxiety (it also reduces BP) and 3am anxiety wakefullness and do feel better. Whether it is ' working' or just a placebo or just a 'good hormone phase' I don't know.  All I know if no one knows what the ' answer' is to this yet we are all in the same miserable boat.

[Foxylady]

I feel for everyone posting on this thread. I know how much I have struggled with work and lying in bed early hours of the morning wishing I could phone in sick. Always feeling exhausted and generally below par is awful when you are still expected to give 100% at work as well as every other part of your life! My symptoms have generally started improving on HRT and Fluoxetine, plus lifestyle changes & I look back & think how did I still function over the last 3 years.