Hi English rose I've not been on for a while. Just to reassure you I also have very little control of the bladder. I either don't need or I'm desperate can be tricky when your out. Sorry to hear you are still struggling we both know a lot of awful symptoms hit at this time. I also have had the arousal back on and off but waiting on ovary removal now x
Oh Donna what a nightmare for you
Look with regard to the arousal, I tell you what I learned after living with it for a few months.
The vaginal arousal without desire (as I call it) for me it happened at the same time as I had massive spikes in my libido. I would explain to my hubby had he been at home during that time I would have begged him for sex and actually had to on several occasions so much so he started to avoid me as his sex drive is 0 (As mine was before this nightmare)
Having never had a libido in my 50 years I did not understand it or recognise it and anyway I am not talking about "feeling horny" this was on a WHOLE other level...I am talking one minute sat working at my PC and literally the next minute heart racing breathing faster and mind filled with thoughts of sex....I NEEDED sex and it had to be sex...self relief only took the edge off and actually made the need for sex worse. Sex DID work it gave me the relief my mind and body was screaming for.
These "attacks" for want of a better word could last for a couple of hours and I tried walking my dogs, having a bath...but no amount of distraction took my mind off sex... it was an absolute physical and mental need and the most bizarre feeling in the world.... probably TMI but I could reach O very fast and the O was very intense. Some women may think "Lucky cow" I don't think I was lucky, I felt cursed and I lived in fear of those spikes all the time. They usually happened the week before or during a period but it took me 3 months to piece it all together.
It was like I went from 0 to 100 in sex drive and it wasn't who I am as a woman. I am old fashioned about sex, believe the man should be the instigator etc so it caused a LOT of confliction for me mentally I hated who I had to become to feed this insane demand my body was putting on me. Its not enough to say "Go buy a sex toy" Unless you have experienced it you cant imagine how intense it is. I can live with an increased sex drive but THAT was something else.
These episodes gradually faded with each period and I would get the occasional "spell" which would cause me anxiety but nothing as crazy as when it all started in Oct. At the same time as the above I also developed VA so yea juggling both was a nightmare! The "arousal without desire" symptoms lasted 6 weeks but the "crazy desire" went on for some months. Its not been an issue for 3 months really.
So what I am saying is please REALLY think if the arousal is JUST unwanted arousal or part of a bigger picture...it may not occur to you that its all part of spikes in libido if youre not the type to be in tune with your sexual side (I certainly wasnt!) and it drove me to have a mini breakdown right here on these forums. I was a wreck and wanted to die "because" it was unheard of and no one could relate or worse they told me to "
think myself lucky because they had no libdio!!" The point is, whats abnormal for one woman may be totally normal for another but if its not normal for you its distressing either way....
Ive since been diagnosed with breast cancer and had the lump removed and lymph nodes on the 12 June. So I had to come off the 6 months HRT cold turkey and Im having a rough time with bladder irritation and moods. If I could I would still use HRT but I have to say even on HRT AND Vagifem (which I still use) I was having the desire attacks and bladder issues and VA symptoms..
It's been the worst 6 months of my life.