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[Lucy69]

Hi all I'm new here so decided to post .. I had hysterectomy last year April but I think I was in menopause before as my periods had stopped I'm 49 , well Jesus I am suffering so bad the last 4 months been hell , I have zero motivation lately all I want to do is sleep, I can't be arsed to do anything even having a bath is chore , I suffer sever social anxiety have for years plus zero confidence , no friends haven't for years also no family apart from 11 year old and non supported partner who I think what's the point being with him , had all test all come back clear , tried hrt tablets and patches none help me and antidepressants is a no no was on and off for years they just numb you what's the point in them , been waiting for therapy for months had that loads to no help ... just feel very lonely isolated and my daughter is keeping me here otherwise I have no reason to be living 😢

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome to MM Lucy69

You are really not alone - many of us suffer with these types of symptoms.

Firstly, you really must try oestrogen treatment again as this is vital for the maintenance of your heart, bones, bladder, skin and muscles. At 49, you are still young to be oestrogen deficient and there will be many benefits for the long term for your general health and wellbeing if you used oestrogen until at least 60.   Oestrogen HRT would help improve sleep and in time might well help with your mood. It will be a range of strategies that will get your life back on track and oestrogen will be one of them - however some positive life changes with some counselling and CBT should really help.

I would like to suggest you try Oestrogel as this allows you to adjust your dose to a level that gives you the greatest help - so you start with one pump per day and then after 3-4 weeks you can increase to 2 pumps per day for a while and then even go up to 3 or 4 pumps per day if need be to see if this improves things.   I suspect that it is not just hormonal for you (HRT can't fix everything) but probably other deep seated issues that could be addressed with appropriate therapy.

The slightest thing can plunge me into a very dark place, so I completely understand how you feel.  By sharing things on this forum that proves you will find a way forward - baby steps - it is tough to drag yourself out of this hole - perhaps try a yoga or Pilates class - I find Pilates very therapeutic.  I do a lot of walking and practise Mindfulness to keep me sane.  There is a great book I would suggest you read : Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world, by Mark Williams and Dr Danny Penman.  My GP suggested I read this and I think it is one of the very useful forms of help to find a positive way forward for many of us.

Try writing down all the things you feel - then write down all the things you want to change or improve - then highlight the most important things you need to tackle.  Your daughter needs to have a mum who values herself and set a good role model  - there are lovely kind people out there, you've just got to be open to finding them.  Baby steps.   Be kind to yourself.

Keep posting.  DG xxxx

[PeriWhat?!]

Hi Lucy69. I'm new here too. Is it possible to try a different sort of therapy? Different things work for different people - some will hate CBT and love talking therapy, or vice versa. It's trial and error. I also think you need to feel comfortable with the therapist, which can take a lot of time.

I get how hard it is to "just" join groups when you're feeling like this. Maybe a group where you don't have to talk or put yourself in the centre of attention, but that gives you a reason to get out and about would be good - a walking group maybe?

[Lucy69]

Thankyou .. I do go out as my daughter is my priority how ever bad I'm feeling , I can't do any groups as my panic and anxiety takes over I have body dismophia to so I could be hours before I even leave the house  , I can't concentrate on reading or listening as my mind is always racing doing over time .

[Karen max]

Hi Lucy
I've no answers for you but I know how you feel as I'm exactly feeling same way
I'm post menopause from I was 47 now 52 .
Used 4 different hrt none agreed with me
I have appointment with hrt clinic 1st April so I'm praying they can help

Kaz x

[Dancinggirl]

Lucy69
I assume you have looked at this site:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd?gclid=CjwKCAjw7MzkBRAGEiwAkOXexF5rgK8WY7-DsEnDjbFj-hMx7UGjkYd-fTuANtEWUaIElq1DDWKXRxoCnUsQAvD_BwE#.XJOrdC2cbUo

You have a number of complex things going on so I feel your GP should be prioritising your need for counselling and appropriate help to get on the right road. The fact that you recognise you problems and want to find a way froward is very good.  It will take great courage to overcome the feeling you have - do be kind to yourself. DG x

[Lucy69]

Hi there I'm on waiting list for therapy that's all they can offer me but could be 7 months then it's on certain number of sessions I get then have to apply again it's like a vicious circle , there is no help for me there's not much you can do when house bound , I was facing my demons always tried to be strong but can't do it no more all I do is sit in my bedroom waiting for daughter to come home then I just wait for bedtime then same again next day and next day but weekends I take her out regardless how I'm feeling I won't let her down because of my problems but the hysterectomy and menopause I'm now In is evil no other words , doctors useless I'm on waiting list for menopause clinic but I won't hold my breath as most tablets or drugs I get all the side effects .

[CLKD]

How long ago did you try appropriate anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications? 

[CLKD]

Whatever: do read our threads on vaginal atrophy !

[Lucy69]

Back to doctors this morning baring in mind I said I'm in bad place there answer to that was can see you Monday omg the system is a mess, I told them how bad I was can't even leave the house , so now I'm seing a trainee .. brill

[CLKD]

Nowt wrong with a trainee - what do you expect that word to mean exactly?  It will be someone connected to the Surgery with medical knowledge.  What time is the appt.?  When deeply depressed I would walk to the Surgery and sit because that's where I felt safe.  Sometimes I even got the offer of a cuppa  .

Let us know how you get on.  MIND charity are very good I contacted our local Branch when upset [long story short] by e-mail and they helped a lot.

[Lucy69]

From my exsperience with trainees there not good at my doctors that's what I'm saying but have no choice need to get through the weekend .. anyways I'm out my house and feeling very spaced out like I'm on high dose of drugs baring in mind I'm on nothing

[CLKD]

Maybe speak to someone at BEAT - they are an eating disorders charity based I think, in Norwich.  They probably have advice and support groups on offer.  You recognise your problem which is a start.  ........ and breath.  Relaxation therapy can help, concentrating on firstly the toes: stretch them, count to 5, relax.  Do this through all the muscle groups up the body.

Head - staring straight ahead.   Blink the eyes slowly; open, close.  Head forwards to the chest, wait, lift.  Turn head gentle to the left, wait.  Return to central.  Same to the right, wait.  Return to central.  All this takes practice but can help as it focuses.  Singing makes a person breath correctly. 

What support do you have with caring for your daughter?  Is she in school?  Does she have friends if you need a break in order to try medication etc.?

[Lucy69]

Well been doctors (trainee) he suggested after I poured out how I feel to go do charity work or get job ..how nice I rest my case , also said take antidepressants but will make u have no emotions so I said brilliant that will make me feel so much better , I then asked him about other hrt as ones been given don't agree with me so he said well if they don't agree then nothing else can give me , I then said how about hrt gel his reply was never herd of it so I said well there is one and he looked it up found one .. shock so I'm now going to try that .

[CLKD]

Tnks for getting back.  GP Trainees have to learn: he is probably on a 6-months GP secondment: but it isn't helpful when we need help yesterday  .  I would print off the details of this Forum, put it into an envelope and address it to him ;-).  Every day is a learning curve .......

ADs have never made me emotionless  and I've taken something since 1988 .  They have however, saved my Life, as have anti-anxiety meds..

What have you been prescribed?  Maybe put the name into the search box here and see what pops up.

Let us know how you get on.