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[Tc]

Hiya ladies. Just wanted to share a thought realy. After being lucky enough to suffer relatively few issues during my reproductive years and having regular periods up to age 53 I am now in surgical meno.
I was in a same sex relationship most of my life and so contraception wasn't an issue and haven't had kids so apart from regular smears my body just got on with doing it's job. It wasn't something I ever thought about but now I realise that wow what a complicated job my body was just getting on with all that time.
I have realised I was pretty clueless about how my cycle actually worked and what my hormones were doing for me.
I'm still trying to educate myself and have realised that I now have to think about the delicate balance which has to be struck.
I don't want it to continue to be a preoccupation I realy want to just get on with my life but whilst I have symptoms and problems getting the hrt right it's kind of all I think about and it's affecting every area of my life
I lost my wife 3 years ago and am on my own so there's no one to talk over my fears with or stroke my head when I can't sleep and I feel a bit like someone put me in a rocket ship and dropped me off at some unfamiliar strange planet where I don't speak the language!!
Luckily I have a bereavement counsellor who has helped me with my anxiety but I can't talk to her about my health problems.
Just sitting here thinking how something which used to be such a natural process is now so difficult and perplexing.
It's almost like I'm in somebody else's body!!
I am seeing gynae specialist in December.
I guess I will get used to my strange new world but I realy hate having to think about it so much as it's a bit obszessive and I certainly don't wanna be like that for the rest of my life.
I actually find myself wanting to bring up the subject at the most innapropriatw moments, e.g. A man at the bus stop saying "freezing today isn't it" and me replying "I've had my ovaries removed, I'm always hot"

[jaypo]

So sorry that you lost your wife at such a young age,totally devastating.its bad enough going through this with someone by your side,I'm not sure how I'd cope on my own but we are stronger than we think & life as they say goes on & you WILL get there.anxiety is the worst thing & I've often thought oh god,is this it for the rest of my life?but it slowly subsides & on I go again,one day at a time.
I wish you well
Oh & I'd have loved to have seen the guys face at the bus stop
You'll find lots of caring women on here & they're always good at giving support & advice xx

[Tc]

Thank you Jaypo. This forum has been wonderful for me. Yes the guy at the bus stop slowly moved away from me! It's like I've got ovary obsession. The lady who served me in a cafe the other day was obvs having a hot flush and said "oh excuse me I'm having a tropical moment and I said " have you still got your ovaries.?". My dad and sister were with me and sat there aghast. It didn't help that we'd ordered ommelettes   at least I can see the funny side which I found very hard to do a few weeks ago so I guess that's progress.
Take care.

[jaypo]

😂it's good to laugh at yourself sometimes,I'm definitely going to use “tropical moment” from now on

[EnglishRose]

It's utter shit isn't it?

A common theme you read is “I want to be me again” and that just about sums everything up for me,.
The happy sarcastic workaholic self motivated me vanished on the 1 Oct, health anxiety consumed me..the depression.
Now on HRT but it's not a magic bullet.

I'm always available to chat if you want ... pm me 😬

You're  in good company here though

[sheila99]

Maybe see if there's a meno support group near you? You'll always find people on the forum who undertand but it isn't the same as talking.

[Sweetscarlett]

I find I worry more when I'm alone, your mind stars to race and you begin to analyse everything.

When my dad died I realised that life was never going to be the same, my sister said it was ‘the new different' I don't like it - but I have no choice. I hope airing your views on here has helped in some way, and to know there are others struggling with you .

Take care ❤️Ssx