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[suzysunday]

I'm so scared of everything.  In July I had post meno bleeding probably caused by tibolone hrt.  I was diagnosed with vaginal atrophy about 2 years ago.  I was off all hrt for 3 months while I had a biopsy and everything took ages to sort.  I don't want to go on hrt again as I'm scared of bleeding again.  I'm using ovestin internally for the atrophy. I've been using it for 3 weeks now.  While off the hrt I got cystisis and the worse of it went but for ages now I have this feeling of wanting to wee, like many describe on here and it comes and goes. I haven't had any alcohol or sex for all this time. It seemed to go after a week of nightly ovestin but then I had some red wine which seemed to kick it off again. That was nearly a week ago.  Thankfully I haven't got cancer, but the whole thing has left me so frightened.  I'm scared I've got this interstitial cystisis I've read about.  I'm a wreck and want to cry. My partner is wonderful and patient.  I've been a mess since it all started.  I just want my bladder to settle down, it's driving me mad.  The last few months have been awful and I'm so tired.  I'm only 60 and want to feel well again and have a sex life again but I'm so frightened of my bladder getting worse or any number of things.

[suzysunday]

I forgot to say that I don't have any pelvic pain or pain when having a wee, just horrible niggling feelings.  Maybe it's early days after no hrt for so long.

[Kathleen]

Hello suzysunday.

I'm so sorry that you are suffering.

I don't have any bladder issues ( no idea why, they seem to be very common ) but the quivering stomach / internal shaking/ anxiety problems I do have result in similar fears and tiredness. I think we feel so emotionally fragile at this time in our lives that we begin to fixate on certain problems which makes everything worse.

I'm sure someone will be along to advise you about your bladder but  I wanted you to know that even those of us with different problems can sympathise with your plight. The menopause messes with our minds as well as our bodies and so it's no wonder we feel truly awful.

Wishing you well and sending hugs.

K.

[CLKD]

WHOOOA!   Many ladies find that wine, in particular red, 'disagrees' with them at our age. 

Keep on with the vaginal atrophy treatment.  Slow down, delegate ...... this too will pass but it's the Trial and Error that can be SO tiring.

[suzysunday]

Thanks for the kind words .  It's the only alcohol I've had in weeks and that was over 4 days ago.  I only had it because I thought I was over the worst.  I have become so over sensitive to my body and I have just lost all confidence in myself and my body.  It'seems like now the hospital and doc stuff has gone for now and I thought I would be relieved,  the opposite has happened and I feel as though I'm falling apart. 

[CLKD]

Our brains take off sometimes all on their own!  But what's the worst that could happen. 

I've had a cough for 3 weeks and am trying to think that it isn't TB ........ I'm not coughing anything especially blood, it's two small areas in the throat that are dry [bit like atrophy ] rather than on the chest which isn't rattling but in the early hours 

Bugga ............

[suzysunday]

You're right about brain take off.  I just keep thinking my bladder won't get right. 

[CLKD]

Why won't it?  If appropriate treatment is used on a regular basis then most of the symptoms should ease.  The trick is not to stop ;-) as well as keeping the outer labia and perineum lubricated and soft too. 

[suzysunday]

I know I should be more positive.   I will keep up the treatment.   The  atrophy diagnosis over 2 years ago was hard to take and it's been a struggle.  Then the bleeding and biopsy and a very uncaring gynaecologist then 3 months off any atrophy treatment, so I'm starting from scratch .  Feeling down and scared. Thanks for good advice.

[Blot]

I can relate to what you are saying Suzy. I've had similar problems for months which started off with a uti and the feeling of needing to wee all the time and now I've got horrible soreness inside and outside as well. I'm currently on week 4 of vagifem and hoping to see some improvement soon. I was convinced it was IC to start with after consulting Dr Google but my obsessive researching led me to this site and the lovely ladies on here have helped me so much.

It does get you down and you become fixated on the symptoms which makes them seem worse. I too am over sensitive and on high alert to any sensations and it becomes all consuming. I thought it was just me that was like this but you can see that you are not alone. I mentioned on another post that my life is on hold until this is sorted, it's like I can't live properly, and that is just ridiculous, I'm not dying or anything but alas my brain is not rational. I've shed many tears in the past month too.

Take care and keep posting because it really does help.  You've had a rough couple of years so it's no wonder you are frazzled.

[suzysunday]

Yes that feeling that your life is on hold is horrible. I am on week 3 of Ovestin every night then reducing.  Now I am obsessing about the ovestin cream coming out in a blob in the morning and worrying it's not getting absorbed.  That feeling of wanting to wee though does occupy a large part day to day life.

[Blot]

Yes it is. I'm making no plans and avoiding people. I even hid from someone I know in the supermarket yesterday. I was sneaking down the isles and peering round corners so I wouldn't bump into her. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.  Just couldn't face her and having to pretend things are ok.
And don't talk to me about Christmas! The pressure to enjoy and be happy is just too much.

[suzysunday]

Yes, making plans seems very scary.  Since the bleeding started in July, I've petrified of it happening again.  It began just before we had booked and paid for a few days away.  We went ahead and went after I had seen my gp, but after a few days and the bleeding getting a bit worse, we had to come home as I was so stressed. It meant re booking train tickets and the rest. I've never felt so wretched. The bleeding stopped as soon as I stopped the tibolone and none since.  But being an anxious person anyway, making plans for holidays will stress me.  But you can't live your life afraid to do anything.

[suzysunday]

Hello Blot, how are you doing with the vagifem and the wee feelings?  Is it atrophy that starts your symptoms.  I'm still struggling.  Have you been on vagifem before?

[CLKD]

I can't feel positive when anxiety strikes.  Even though I know what causes it, i.e. it's natural  the physicality floors me 

When I had treatment for breast disease I was more worried about panic attacks stopping me getting to the Hospital than of dying