Hi Ali61,
I hope you're feeling a bit better today xx
Last year, when this meno hell hit, I asked for Prozac (fluoxetine). I'd been on it for a short time in my 20s, and again in my 30s and it had worked marvellously. Immediately, I developed the symptoms you've described - my gp prescribed Xanax and lorazepam to help me through. In my case they didn't. I asked him if he could test my hormones as I had been bleeding heavily for 6 weeks at that point. Of course they came back as meno, so he prescribed hrt as well. I tried all of it for about 3 weeks, then took myself off everything (I was sill feeling like you) and started my hrt journey. I trialled paroxetine earlier this year, and took myself off (slowly) when I realised it wasn't working. But I didn't feel as badly as last year. So I've upped my patch to 75 and am soon to have a Mirena fitted.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, ADs don't work for everyone. Sertraline (taken for just under a year because I had pnd after my daughter and was breast feeding) just made me feel unmotivated and flat, plus it gave me head zaps..so I wasn't keen to try it again. I have read that venfalaxine (Effexor) is one of the better ones to take at meno as it helps with the hot flushes. If a medication isn't working for you, then it isn't working for you - you may feel better on on of the newer SNRI types rather than the SSRI types xxxx
Good luck with it all, and big hugs xxxx