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[mabel64]

Morning ladies. Ive posted before about how not being in a relationship makes me feel really down and received some lovely supportive replies. I  just wondered is there anyone else on the forum also trying to deal with all this menopause c*** without the support of a caring partner.??

[CLKD]

I believe that we have a few ladies who choose to live on their own.  Do you have hobbies?

[mabel64]

Yes ckld i have a fairly busy life, hobbies and good family andfriends☺soI know I am lucky in many ways. But I do really miss the closeness that comes with a relationship with a signicant other. I didnt choise to be alone and it serms the older you get the harder it us to meet someone

[Katejo]

Morning ladies. Ive posted before about how not being in a relationship makes me feel really down and received some lovely supportive replies. I  just wondered is there anyone else on the forum also trying to deal with all this menopause c*** without the support of a caring partner.??

I am also on my own. Think I'd rather be in this position than be with a partner who simply didn't understand menopause effects. I worry more about becoming ill/needing surgery in the future and not having anyone to support me/look after me after surgery. When I needed an endoscopy some time ago, the hospital assumed that I would have someone to take me there and then bring me home and look after me for the rest of the day. I opted out of sedation just to avoid that.

[CLKD]

It is lovely to be able to share.  Even quiet space with someone I trust.  Himself tells me that he hates walking in here if I'm away.  But we don't talk much 

[Lisa1966]

I am also on my own dealing with this menopause c***,it can be a very lonely place to be,I do sometimes feel envious of others with supportive partners,but unfortunately I just have to deal with it the best I can xx

[mabel64]

Seems like us singles are in the minority then. Yes Lisa youre right it can be very lonely

[CLKD]

I've been lonely in a crowded room  .   Not the same as being alone with no one to discuss things with. 

[Joaniepat]

Another single here! My OH died nearly 20 years ago and I am used to being on my own.

I tend to put a positive slant on it: it's better to be on your own than with an OH who is troublesome. More of a cup half full approach I suppose.

I sometimes envy those who have a supportive partner, but there are members of this forum whose partners are the opposite of that and I thank my lucky stars I am not in that position. I can do what I like when I like, or not as the case may be.

JP x

[Golden retriever]

Hi all
I'm single too and yes you are right Joaniepat some people do not have the support from partners.
I am lucky that I have a good few single friends. We are all in our 40s. They are supportive but  I'm the first though to go through early menopause. My dog who was my best friend ( I know sounds pathetic) died during the summer and it brought back the emptiness that I felt at 17 when my Dad died.
Even typing our feelings and knowing you are not the only one without a partner helps.
Better to have good friends and not feel alone than be with a partner who makes you lonely.
GR xx

[NorthArm]

I'm in a newish (4 years) relationship with a man who says he's trying to understand, but who isn't really. If I'm having a moment, he actually adds fuel to the fire, and personalises everything to be about him. It's only when he's feeling ok, that he offers support, and always at a time when I'm feeling ok...go figure.

So I deal with things on my own, and tend to cut him right out of it. I'll tell him bits and pieces, but not much. He doesn't get any of it, sadly.

For example, on top of this meno crap, my son has become seriously ill. I tried to talk about it with him, (it's pretty serious, as in potentially life threatening), and he was quite lackadaisical about it. It was only when I was explaining things to his daughter that he realised it was serious, but only for the moment. It's like it doesn't exist for him now. But he's the same with his own daughter. It's like if things are good with him, then they must be good with everyone. Like we're dolls, or cardboard cut outs. When pressed, he gets very angry about it. So.

I'm still on my own here - and that is a very lonely place to be...thank god for places like this where I can talk xx

[Golden retriever]

Sorry to hear your son is ill Northarm.
Men do have a tendency not to be able to deal with problems. They ignore issues and think by avoiding them, they will go away.
This forum really helps and talking things out and getting your head around problems can be so powerful.
Some people just can't deal with problems, my brother is the best in the world but when my mum gets ill (she suffers from depression) when he visits he never deals with the issue
Hope this helps you in some way
GR xx

[NorthArm]

Thanks Golden retriever, I know I'm not on my own in the idiot men department lol. It just gets so frustrating at times xx And I'm weary of it and feel I'd probably be best on my own most days xx

[suziq99]

I'm in a newish (4 years) relationship with a man who says he's trying to understand, but who isn't really. If I'm having a moment, he actually adds fuel to the fire, and personalises everything to be about him. It's only when he's feeling ok, that he offers support, and always at a time when I'm feeling ok...go figure.

So I deal with things on my own, and tend to cut him right out of it. I'll tell him bits and pieces, but not much. He doesn't get any of it, sadly.

For example, on top of this meno crap, my son has become seriously ill. I tried to talk about it with him, (it's pretty serious, as in potentially life threatening), and he was quite lackadaisical about it. It was only when I was explaining things to his daughter that he realised it was serious, but only for the moment. It's like it doesn't exist for him now. But he's the same with his own daughter. It's like if things are good with him, then they must be good with everyone. Like we're dolls, or cardboard cut outs. When pressed, he gets very angry about it. So.

I'm still on my own here - and that is a very lonely place to be...thank god for places like this where I can talk xx

I'm in a similar situation, not a new relationship though but sometimes you don't realise they aren't there for you until you really need them.

[Night_Owl]

Mabel, I'm in a r/ship however I may as well be on my own for all the support I get, these days he just doesn't get any of it - and has zoned out over time, de-sensitised - so I have to self-nurture and feel alone with health issues.

Often I think I would prefer to be single and not have the pressure/strain a r/ship can bring when I'm feeling so cr@p, plus his friends/family's view of me/my poor health since meno etc etc. 

Not sure if this helps.