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[Miabella]

Well it finally happened- after months of somehow holding it together at work despite awful anxiety, today I ended up sobbing in a colleagues office. I was having a really bad morning, feeling worse than I have done for weeks, went to the kitchen to make a (decaf) coffee, and she was there and asked me how I was and the floodgates opened. She was so lovely and kind, insisted I come back to her office and we talked for a bit. It was probably that that got me through my 4 hours at work. And the tearfulness, which really is not normal for me, has continued all day - I even feel tearful writing this post!

I feel so bad that it's come to this - bothering colleagues that I don't even know that well with my problems. And so disappointed as I thought the new ADs I started almost 3 weeks ago might be starting to work, then wham! A horrible day. Feels like I'm back at square one again.

Anyone else ever cried at work? Or in some other mortifying situation?

[Mustard1]

Yes - I have cried to colleagues and ended up in tears with our medic.  I lost both parents and held it together in work but this floored me.  In retrospect everyone was helpful and kind.  Sometimes the dam breaks and we have to let it go.  I hope today is better for you.  M xx

[Miabella]

Thanks Mustard. I am just finding anxiety overwhelming at times and feel desperate.

[SueLW]

Are you on HRT? 

I never suffered with anxiety before menopause but I do now.  However, since starting Estrogel 2 pumps a day it's all but gone away.  I suspect I might do better with 3 pumps a day because I can feel it starting to creep back in during the evening and overnight.  But for now I'm holding at 2 to let it settle. 

If your anxiety is hormone related I've read that no AD will help, which is why, at my worst, I refused to ask for them even though I was so close.  HRT should be the first line of treatment for hormonal anxiety.  Some women might need both.

I hope you feel a lot better today.

[Miabella]

Hi Sue,
I have suffered anxiety before I hit menopause and I had an allergic reaction to the HRT patches my GP tried me on so that's why I'm going down the AD route as they did help in the past. But I am worried that this time ADs won't help. It all feels like a nightmare at the moment.

[Cazikins]

Hi Mirabella,
So sorry you are having a bad time with work at the moment. I know how it feels, I worked with one middle aged man in a very small office when I started my meno symptoms - poor man he ended up knowing more about the menopause than he ever wanted or expected too  .

You say you tried HRT before but had an allergic reaction to the patches - I had the very same issue so changed to tablet form & it worked great for me. Why not go back to your GP & have chat about it. There are also creams to try but alas I didn't tolerate them either as I got an itchy rash on the application site.

Ad's can help support you if you have other issues but HRT are the best for meno symptoms.

Hope you can get it sorted soon - good luck.

Cazikins x

[Mustard1]

Hi Miabella,  The desperate feeling has being felt my many of us and it is truly awful.  It might be worth going back to your GP and seeing if a change in route of HRT might help as Cazikins suggested.  i do believe that the HRT is probably the best fix but find the right one is difficult and I am still looking albeit that I don't have the hopelessness and despair that I originally encountered.  Big hugs to you.  M xx

[Miabella]

Thanks Cazikins and Mustard,
The problem with the patches I tried was that within hours I came out in an angry rash all over my upper body (but NOT where the patch was) and my face and mouth started to swell and I ended up in A & E. My GP did seek advice from the meno clinic and they said there's a danger I could react even more severely if I tried another HRT, and that I should definitely avoid it in tablet form - the thinking being a patch can be removed quickly but once you've swallowed a tablet there's no going back. So on that basis we changed my AD - to one that worked when I had PND many years ago. That was 3 weeks ago so I was expecting to see results by now. Last week I started to sleep better and felt a bit better anxiety wise so I really was beginning to think I'd turned a corner and now this week has been dreadful, and I just feel desperate. I don't even know if the anxiety is menopause related, so don't know if I need HRT or not. I see my GP tomorrow so here's hoping we can find a way round all this

[Cazikins]

Oh poor you. sounds like anaphylactic (sp) shock. I can understand the docs reluctance to offer you another form of HRT.

I hope you manage to find something to help you soon. Let us know how you get on.

Cazikins x

[Miabella]

Yes, anaphylactic shock is what they're worried about. And I would be too if I tried HRT again. That's why I am pinning my hopes on antidepressants as I don't see HRT as being possible for me .

[Roseneath]

HI Mirabella. I was thinking we are all united in this but alone at the same time. I have not found one person; GPs, family, friends etc  aside from the folks on this forum who understand how frightening and real these feelings are. I am back at the GPs today . Had a great run of about 6 months feeling good (taking nothing) but a few days ago hit by huge anxiety wave. My problem is I have this ongoing mental churn of worry which is very hard to break when I'm in that zone and it leads to sleepless nights. I am thinking of trying ADs too but have always felt they are a last resort. Had a bad episode with HRT so am loath to go down that route for me again.

[Miabella]

Hi Roseneath,
We all have to go with what we think best for us but it is so hard to make these decisions and I can understand your concerns about ADs.  I had a couple of really bad periods of anxiety when I was much younger and antidepressants worked then for me. I didn't suffer any side effects or withdrawal symptoms so for me they feel like the safer choice right now rather than HRT, especially given that my main symptom is anxiety. I would never discourage anyone from trying ADs But that's based on my experience. They do work really well for many people and although the NICE guidelines say HRT should be first choice, I wonder if that has been proved for all menopause symptoms or just some?  I think sometimes we need to accept that for a short time we may need to take meds we would otherwise prefer not to take. I would rather not have to take ADs but if that's what it takes to make me well then for me it's a no-brainer.

Let me know how it goes at your GP appt
Good luck xx

[Roseneath]

I had a good GP appointment. For once a female GP over 40 who seemed to have more empathy and a more overall approach to things.
She did a good cardiac/BP check to put my mind at rest but once again me sleepless worried nights are all due to anxiety which is the route of my symptoms. At my request she also agreed to test for Iron and Thyroid. I felt so different walking out of her office though. So much calmer. We are going to switch my propranolol to something I can take once a day which lasts 24 hours (forgot the name sorry). For me it is the physical anxiety symptoms, the tension, effect on gut, increased heart rate that I find most difficult. She is also arranging a NHS funded CBT councillor and a short course of sleeping tabs to reset my sleep patterns. So now I have switched my worry to not sleeping tonight!! I need a new brain LOL!

[Miabella]

That's great Roseneath that you feel progress was made at your GP appt. I too had a GP appt on Thursday and she ‘ordered' me to use sleeping tablets for the next few nights as sleep is such an important thing. I won't pretend I feel comfortable taking them but this morning I slept until almost 9am instead of my usual 4.30am wakening and for me that means 4 hours less of worry in the day which has to be a good thing. She also prescribed Diazepam which she said I must take as well in the short term. The idea is that my body and mind is getting used to being in an agitated state and that's becoming the norm - by using these meds for a short time it will hopefully get my body used to being in a relaxed state more often and that will become the norm again. I see the logic in what she's saying and so I am giving it a try - anything to get me through this bad spell. Hope you are ok
Xx

[Roseneath]

Hi Miabella. Glad to hear you are getting some helpful advice from the GP. That is exactly what I was recommended to do last June when I had an awful 10 day meltdown and went to the GP in a right state. I felt a bit shocked about being prescribed diazapam (I had no idea it was valium!). I took the sleeping tabs for about a month; gradually cutting down to 1/4 and only half a dozen diazapam. I actually switched sleeping tablet types because the first two used to make me wake up every 2-3 hours. For me I struggled with the lack of sleep for so long and also had to get up at 6:30 every day as we run a B & B. It was a wretched existence so taking the tablets for me just gave my brain and body a chance to reset. He did say that you will probably have a good few months then a dip again which has been true but it is good to know there is a ' plan' and I don't panic as much because the GP is right. No one died from lack of sleep and anxiety but is is not a nice way to live. Lots of huge to you.