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[CLKD]

racjen - you have been through a shock, surgical intervention etc..  There is also the possibility that you need to mourn for the 'other' you B4 you can move forward.  During treatment I was fine, until after discharge from follow-up when I felt bereft if that makes sense, like my support line had broken.

Could your dose need a hike?

[racjen]

I'm on Evorel 100 and my estrogen level is over 1000 pmol so I doubt it. I've had talking therapy of various sorts over the last year, have seen a private specialist and a consultant psychiatrist and no-one can really come up with anything else. My suspicion is that it's the testosterone deficiency that's causing the ongoing problem, but I can't tolerate testosterone either so I've had to come to the conclusion that some problems just don't have a solution - sometimes life is just shit.

[CLKD]

Yep sometimes it simply is!   . 

R U taking anything for the depression and anxiety?  Maybe a course of a suitable medication for 8-12 months will lift your mood.  Some people find yoga or tai chi helpful.

[racjen]

No, as I've posted on here quite a few times already, I'm one of the small minority for whom anti-depressants are really bad news, 8 different ones have left me feeling suicidal, beta-blockers likewise and I had to take such a high dose of diazepam to maintain any kind of response I'm now dependent and trying to come off. I'm on pregabalin but can't tolerate more than 100mg a day which has very little effect on my symptoms. That's why I say that sometimes life is just shit, nothing works.

[CLKD]

Tnx for the reminder.  Menobrain here doesn't hold much info any more 

How much diazepam do you need to get through each day?  In the 1990s I found taking 5mg prior to events that I was unable to avoid really helped, knowing that I could take that x 3 times a day if necessary: I never required it the next morning >phew<.   Some people worry about being addicted but if it works  ........... I said years ago that I would have taken heroine except I knew that would give me more problems >sigh<.   (((racjen)))

[racjen]

I hit a point ages back where I was taking 15mg in one go first thing in the morning and it wasn't lessening the anxiety, but if I didn;t take it it was a hell of a lot worse. That's what's meant by developing tolerance - it's not doing you any good any more but you have to take it anyway. I've reduced down to 6.5mg over the last few months and am determined to keep going and get off it, but I know the lower I get dosewise the worse it will be. I don't share your opinion that this is a good and useful drug - it's highly addictive and does more harm than good in the end. If I'd been taken seriously in my conviction that my problems were hormonal in the first place I might not be in this situation now - GPS need to be challenged about their lazy attitudes to womens mental health problems.