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[Miabella]

Hi everyone,
I did write my first post last week before I noticed this newbie thread.
I am almost 57, had my last period a year ago. My family are husband, son 23 and daughter 12. Anxiety is my main problem - only started to address the possibility it could be due to menopause with my doctor a few weeks ago. She increased my AD dose - 4 weeks ago now - saw her last week and she wants me to continue with that for a few more weeks, also didn't want to start anything new when I was about to go on holiday.
My main concern right now is how I will cope with anxiety when I'm away. It often feels like working, looking after the house, and just the daily routines are what gets me through the bad spells and all these routines don't exist when you're on holiday. I can't relax when I feel bad so the normal stuff I'd do on holiday like reading probably won't be an option. Also I normally enjoy warmer climates but our recent hot spell in the UK has increased my sweats so am worried how will I cope with 2 weeks of hot weather. I feel so ungrateful not looking forward to a lovely holiday (and when the anxiety eases off I do want to go) and I don't want to spoil it for my husband and daughter. Anyone else had to cope with this and if so, any tips or suggestions?
Thank you all for being here and for reading this xx

[jillydoll]

Hi miabella
I'm not sure I can help but thought I'd post.
I know exactly what your going through, when I have anxiety attacks, and I know when
there coming on,(most of the time anyway) I start going very quiet, hardly talk to anyone
only answering when I'm spoken to, because I'm trying to keep myself calm. I try to get away
from everyone even if it's just for a short time to sort my breathing out, (I've even sat on the
toilet, just to get away from everyone, no one can bother me there) ..
Do you talk about your feelings when the anxiety starts up to your husband?
I know sometimes, just admitting my feelings to my OH, can and does help, it's like I've opened
a shook up bottle of pop, and then took the lid off.....
That's mostly how I cope, doing the 4,7,8 breathing, and focusing on 3things, ‘what I hear, see, feel.'
Now that's a hard one if your minds racing, just trying to focus on three things, but if your mind
takes you somewhere else, then start again. It does work....
Try and get some ‘me' time on holiday, say, you stay at the hotel,while hubby takes the kids out?
For an hour or so......gives you some relaxing time.......
I really hope you have a lovely holiday, let us know how you get on,

Jd x

[Miabella]

Thank you so much jillydoll for taking the time to reply. I do talk to my husband and I know exactly what you mean by it having a diffusing effect - almost like when you speak all your anxious thoughts out loud and someone challenges them, they don't seem quite as bad. With the holiday stuff though I am trying not to say how I feel as he has a very stressful job, doesn't take much time off, and it will get him down if I tell him how I'm feeling.
In any case, he has already gone to our holiday destination (we are tagging it on after a work commitment of his) so the past couple of days it's just been me and my 12 year old daughter at home, and I don't want her to know how bad I feel either.
I have to confess I'm not good at trying things like the 3-2-1 when I feel really bad - feels like the last thing I could do - but I probably should try harder. My doctor prescribed me Diazepam, which I hate the thought of taking, but I will take them with me as a last resort.
Maybe once I get the journey over tomorrow the anxiety will ease up a bit.
Thanks again for your lovely reply x

[CLKD]

Ask your GP for an anti-anxiety medication.  I have an emergency table to hand which I know works.  As soon as I begin to feel ill I take one, it lasts 2 days .......... so I don't have to take extra.

Then once you are back from your holiday you can ask more informed questions from your GP.  HRT and ADs together help some ladies, others need HRT so it's a bit of Trial and Error.

I used to dread holidays  and wish to be back home, so that I would know whether I had enjoyed myself  [clear as mud?]

Why as a last resort  .  Why suffer?  If you are hungry, do you not eat?  If you have a headache, do you not ........ Codeine for example is highly addictive!

[Miabella]

I just have a fear of feeling spaced out - which I think would send my anxiety through the roof. Is Diazepam (2mg) not an anti-anxiety med? I guess I say last resort as I feel I'd be losing control of my life, not able to drive etc.

Thanks for your post xx

[CLKD]

Valium is a relaxant.  It is used as a pre-med in some Hospitals.  Why not try 5mg at night B4 you go away?  I don't feel spaced out on anything, a bit hung over sometimes but it's better than the anxiety.

Depending on your holiday plans too .........

[Wilks]

I was given 6 diazepam 2mg in A&E one night last year. Took one, it knocked me out and then when I woke I was utterly foggy, weak, and fatigued for at least 3 days. Needless to say, the other 5 have remained in their packet! I would only take them as an absolute last resort. Once you're on holiday and have been there a day or so, your anxiety may reduce as you relax?

[Miabella]

This is my fear, that's why they are definitely last resort. Yes, I'm hoping once the journey is over and the holiday kicks in then fingers crossed I'll feel better

[Miabella]

You're right about sunbathing and using distraction Jeaniewigs. Good advice . Thank you x

[Miabella]

Awake at 4am, anxiety bad. Suitcase packed with god knows what clothes- just have no interest when I feel so anxious, which is so not like me. Having to force myself to do everything - does anxiety affect others in this way? I try just to keep pushing myself to do everything I need to. Don't know if it makes the anxiety lift any sooner but feel i'd Feel worse if I don't keep trying to function normally.
I am hoping so much this is just a bad few days.....

[Miabella]

Thanks Jeaniewigs. You're right, but one of the nasty tricks anxiety plays on you is to make you afraid to makes plans in case you don't feel well enough to carry them out. Knowing there are things I ‘have' to do come what may, increases my anxiousness. That said, it's also true that it's keeping busy that provides the distractions I need. It's such a battle going on in your head when you feel like this.

[CLKD]

Distraction never worked for me  .  However, I learnt over the years to pack in 'good time' so that I didn't get stressed about it.  Like you, I would have no idea what was in the case if I left it too late  .

Miabella - I could have written all your remarks thus far .......... when I'm not anxious I could take on The World  .  Many times I went because my DH required a break, dreaded it until we were on the way home.  I would then be exhausted for 4/5 days after ........ sometimes though the anxiety went and I actually enjoyed it. 

When do you go away?

[Miabella]

Flight is today at 3pm. My DH is already there (we're tagging our holiday on at the end of a work trip of his) so it's myself and my daughter travelling. She's 12 so is pretty self-sufficient when travelling but I'm still dreading the journey.
Hopefully I will have some better days while away. I'm trying to think about the next hour rather than the next week - hard for a worrier but anxiety is so unpredictable (for me anyway) that it is pointless to think any other way.
My mother suffered from anxiety and never wanted to go on holiday if she felt bad. I used to say to her ‘Well if you are going to feel bad anyway, you might as well feel bad in a warm, sunny place, than at home' Now I know how she felt. She did also go sometimes for my dad's sake. My fear is that not having my normal routine to keep me busy while away will make me worse and I think that was hers too. But at least I know that I need to keep up my walking while away, eat regularly, etc etc

PS. I did do most of my packing while feeling ok. Just the last minute things that will be dodgy
Thanks for your post x

[CLKD]

You will probably be off towards the air port now.  Let us know how you get on ........

When I think how I made suggestions to lift my Dad out of depression  and realised when I was stricken how difficult it is simply to get out of bed  ........

Out of my routine even to go to the dentist or GP Surgery throws me sometimes.  Bugga    .  I try not to be more than 5 hours away from home.

 

[Miabella]

Thanks CLKD, you are so supportive on this forum.
Made it here (Italy), last night - felt better on journey than I expected. Actually woke without the morning dreads but they have slowly crept up on me again. It's my daughter's birthday today - would so love to have an anxiety-free day......