I don't cope with grey skies at all well now.
Oh me neither! I can't bear the dark or the miserable, grey days. I never used to even notice.
I'm glad it's not just me then. So still likely to be stuck in Peri. Hopeless. I get up each day with the idea I might actually get something done, but then it starts to close in very quickly. Sometimes (most times) I realise I've been sat on the loo for 20 minutes doing nothing but just gazing at the door and have to force myself up and off it). I almost never just get up and dressed anymore. I get downstairs in PJ's and think "I'll just have a coffee (decaf)" and the hours go by. I'm lucky to be dressed and washed by lunch time. I can't be bothered with my hair (which has mostly fallen out) and I hardly ever put any jewellery on anymore. I never used to go out without some earrings and a necklace. My mood just gets steadily worse most days. I'm exhausted and so upset and miserable. I can't focus, concentrate or do anything.
Just this week I had 2 days when I felt a lot better. I thought it was because I had moved taking my thyroid meds later in the morning. But it only lasted 2 days so I guess not. During those 2 days I went to the garden centre and bought plants for my weed filled, neglected pots and tubs. I felt like I used to feel and couldn't imagine going backwards again. At the end of the second day, not long before bed, my breasts suddenly became sore. Not full at all, quite loose, but sore. And the next day it was back down the drain again. Now I'm facing the fact that I have to somehow get the plants planted tomorrow and I know it will be a monumental struggle to do it.
2 good days in months isn't much of a life. I run my own business (actually I'm running it into the ground because of all this) so I don't have to come in until I'm ready as long as I can have parcels ready for the courier and postal collections. But then, I come alive a bit and end up staying at work until 9pm to actually, you know, do something useful! I then get home, have to eat a late dinner, go to bed with no evening or stay up really late. It's all driving me insane.
I went to a new meno doctor a few weeks ago. But she spotted a two year old test result for cortisol and homed in on it. It was never followed up. She said it must be repeated because it was far too low and so I've had a morning cortisol test again this week to start the process of checking for Addison's disease. Until we have more information about that, she won't touch my HRT. So now I'm scared and miserable!
