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Author Topic: Managing the tearfulness  (Read 1480 times)

mrs_bella

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Managing the tearfulness
« on: May 17, 2018, 09:13:23 PM »

Despite being on an antidepressant and HRT for my menopause, I am finding that I am constantly tearful. I cry at the drop of a hat.
I had a flat tyre the other day. Normally I would shrug this off and get on with things. Well not this time: I was like a weeping train wreck. It was so embarrassing as I was crying in front of about 10 blokes whilst my tyre was being mended. I felt like such a dill as I couldnít stop.
I am finding this whole tearfulness situation frustrating as in most incidents itís not called for. My family are use to the water works. But, I want to be able to go out in public without the tears following me.
How does one manage this?
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 09:16:20 PM by mrs_bella »
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Daisydot

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 09:27:58 PM »

No easy answer Iím afraid Mrs Bella.all you can hope for is itís just another symptom that will pass in time.xx
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 09:41:12 PM »

Oh, Iíve been like that too. I was in tears virtually every day for months, often unwarranted! I seem to have come out of that recently, no idea whether itís the hrt, the fluoxetine, the sunshine or the testosterone!
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CLKD

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2018, 09:48:19 PM »

"I've recently been bereaved" worked for me.  Adding, "Please don't B kind to me, I don't want to talk but believe in letting tears flow, Kleenex anyone?"  We don't have to justify ourselves.  We don't have to make others feel 'better'.  If Nature hadn't intended us to cry She wouldn't have given us feelings.

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Changes can be scarey, even when we want them!

mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2018, 04:09:35 AM »

No easy answer Iím afraid Mrs Bella.all you can hope for is itís just another symptom that will pass in time.xx
Itís a symptom alright. And boy I hope it passes soon Daisydot 🙏🏻
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:32:52 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2018, 04:15:19 AM »

Oh, Iíve been like that too. I was in tears virtually every day for months, often unwarranted! I seem to have come out of that recently, no idea whether itís the hrt, the fluoxetine, the sunshine or the testosterone!
Golly I hope I am not like this for months. Itís annoying more than anything.
Thatís a lot of variables Wilks. Donít change or stop any if itís worked. I might ask my GP about testosterone. Although itís only approved in one state here. I would have to get it shipped to me...a costly endeavour.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:33:57 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 04:23:46 AM »

"I've recently been bereaved" worked for me.  Adding, "Please don't B kind to me, I don't want to talk but believe in letting tears flow, Kleenex anyone?"  We don't have to justify ourselves.  We don't have to make others feel 'better'.  If Nature hadn't intended us to cry She wouldn't have given us feelings.
You have nailed it right there CLKD...I feel like I need to justify myself. I live in a small country town where showing emotions such as sadness, grief, distress etc is not the done thing. If you do, you are a target for the bullies. I am talking about grown women here. I tend to stay home or when I do go into town wear big sunnies so I can hide the tears. Stupid really 😬
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 04:35:51 AM by mrs_bella »
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2018, 08:17:27 AM »

Hi Mrs Bella- really sorry, I didnít mean to alarm you. I should add that I always had severe PMS that caused horrible mood swings. Plus, I didnít realise last year for some months that it was the menopause making me feel so dreadful. I thought Iíd gone bonkers!
On a more optimistic note, Iím much better now!
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2018, 11:28:17 AM »

Hi Mrs Bella- really sorry, I didnít mean to alarm you. I should add that I always had severe PMS that caused horrible mood swings. Plus, I didnít realise last year for some months that it was the menopause making me feel so dreadful. I thought Iíd gone bonkers!
On a more optimistic note, Iím much better now!
I thought I was going bonkers at first too Wilks. I was like this when I was pregnant. I would cry watching Kleenex tissue ads or any ad with a cute animal in it for that matter. I knew I couldnít be pregnant because I had to have a hysterectomy shortly after my second child which was about 10 years ago...so the tears were definitely not pregnancy related.
I am pleased you are much better now. That gives me some hope that this ďtearfulĒ stage is going pass. Well hereís hoping 🤞🏻
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 11:34:24 AM by mrs_bella »
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CLKD

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2018, 01:19:49 PM »

HORMONES  >:(  ::).  I would sob uncontrollably the night B4 a bleed would start, even when a period wasn't due  :-\.  Now I don't cry often even if I need to, unless I watch the end of The Incredible Journey - the bit when Bodger struggles over the hill  :'(

Where on Earth do you live that people aren't sympathetic?  Maybe they know your business B4 you do  ::).  How do they bully someone?
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paisley

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2018, 06:22:21 PM »

I know how you feel. I know you donít like crying but I am the opposite & when I feel teary I just keep it in as I donít want to bother anyone. I really do think better out than in. Outwardly people think I am ok but inside I am a teary wreak. I think I have held it in so long now that I donít know how to cry properly anymore
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #11 on: May 19, 2018, 12:06:30 AM »

HORMONES  >:(  ::).  I would sob uncontrollably the night B4 a bleed would start, even when a period wasn't due  :-\.  Now I don't cry often even if I need to, unless I watch the end of The Incredible Journey - the bit when Bodger struggles over the hill  :'(

Where on Earth do you live that people aren't sympathetic?  Maybe they know your business B4 you do  ::).  How do they bully someone?
I live in a tiny town in Victoria, Australia.
And yes, often people know my business before I do. Itís awful sometimes. Especially when the ďmean girlsĒ single out your child like they have done with mine. It really is like high school. I tend to stick to myself for these reasons. And now I am so all over the place with menopause woes, itís even more reason to lay low as I donít want my children to be effected by more gossip.
Oh sorry, they bully people by excluding them. Spreading rumours etc It really is bad. For example, I walked into my local cafe the other day and the ďmean girlsĒ were sitting in their usual spot. When I entered they all stopped talking and glared at me. While I was ordering I over heard one of them say, ďLook at her dress, take a pic itís awfulĒ. Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of them with her iPhone out snapping away. These are grown women 😡😞
« Last Edit: May 20, 2018, 09:35:56 AM by mrs_bella »
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mrs_bella

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2018, 12:15:18 AM »

I know how you feel. I know you donít like crying but I am the opposite & when I feel teary I just keep it in as I donít want to bother anyone. I really do think better out than in. Outwardly people think I am ok but inside I am a teary wreak. I think I have held it in so long now that I donít know how to cry properly anymore
Paisley I have a friend who is very similar to you. She says itís far worse to not let it out as she has become inept of displaying any emotion. When asked, ďHow are you today?Ē her response is always ďGood thanksĒ. Yet she is screaming in pain within. The poor thing says she doesnít know when she last cried. I donít know whatís worse: no tears or too many. Just goes to show we all have our struggles.
« Last Edit: May 19, 2018, 12:19:48 AM by mrs_bella »
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Daisydot

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2018, 06:53:20 AM »

Same here paisley,my husband is the only other human who sees the real me,Iíve been brought up in an environment where I had to be strong and be there for family even as a youngster I had to protect my mother so I didnít dare shed tears,it was a sign of weakness,now I find it difficult to cry for myself but I will cry for simple things I see or people tell me but I have no pity for me as in my mind I shouldnít as thereís always someone out there worse off.I think now thatís why when I crash I crash badly and isolate myself to deal with it in my own way,itís probably a safety mechanism.Mrs Bella my heart goes out to you what a nasty bunch of bullies and itís natural to say Iíd rip them apart but not practical when it comes down to it,itís just something you have to deal with and hopefully theyíll tire of it.its so not nice for you though witches.xx
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Wilks

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Re: Managing the tearfulness
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2018, 08:05:45 AM »

Mrs Bella, the ďmean girlsĒ sound dreadful. Enough to make someone tearful even without menopause issues.
What are the men like?
I was never bullied but there was so much low-level bitchiness at school. I was shocked to see that it continues into adult life, especially in ďmum and babyĒ groups and in the school yard when you take your own kids to school.
I do have some lovely women friends but I spend most of my social time riding bikes with men.
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