As this is a mno site I can assume we [nearly] are all of a certain age. When I married the first time in the early 80s it was a register office followed by a buffet and disco at a church hall. My mum did the food and we had a blast. Same for my siblings and most of friends [the only variations being church vs register office and type/size/location of hall hired for the reception]. The stag/hen [JUST THE ONE!!] was always on the Thursday before, and tended to be a pub crawl followed by a curry, followed by a club for those still standing. Presents were the usual toasters/place mats/awful ornaments in the shape of a Cornish cottage or, if you were lucky, perhaps a second hand fridge freezer or the like from your nearest and dearest. Your dad picked up the bill for the day and the groom paid for his suit and the wedding car. Job done.
Things were a little more sophisticated for me second time round, although I was pregnant so it was far less fun!
But now... Most of the younger generation in my family that have married have spent around £10k and the whole enterprise has taken over their lives for the best part of the year - not to mention the engagement stuff that precedes the wedding planning itself. Now setting aside my personal feelings [that it all reflects the worryingly narcisstic times we live in] people are obviously entitled to celebrate their nuptials however they wish. However, there is no doubt that it now costs those who are invited a lot to attend a wedding. If you are [un[lucky] enough to be asked to join the stag/hen events aswell as the do itself, you could easily be looking at in excess of £100 per event, or even be asked to fork out for a foreign trip [to somewhere you might not actually have wanted to go].
Even if you 'just' go to the wedding it often involves the cost of a hotel for the night [expensive if it the venue hotel, grim and costly in taxis if it is some B & B in a far flung 'romantic' part of the UK]. But again, you at least get a meal and hopefully a good night out of it.
I hope you're not sensing I'm a bit cynical about the whole thing!!! My objection is not actually the do or even the hen nights - it is the current fashion for asking for money as a present. Whilst I appreciate that most brides have already set up home and have everything they could possibly want, I'm not sure I should be asked to pay for their honeymoon. But I have, several times. [And have heard several newly married couples joke and bitch about exactly how much each guest contributed!]
But a recent invitation we have received really takes the biscuit [obviously a really expensive, colour matched, Instagrammable biscuit]. Guests are asked to contribute to the couple's fund to extend their house. Is this a sensible practical step to avoid receiving unwanted stuff? Or is it a bit tasteless?
What do you all think? Feel free to label me a horrible old cynic. I actually love weddings and all they represent in terms of hope and commitment and the way they are often a rare chance to spend time with far flung friends and relatives. It's the only chance I now get to shake my booty to old 70s hits. But hasn't it all got a little out of hand??? I wouldn't wish a set of English Countryside placemats on the next generation [although I still have them if anybody feels they missed out] but isn't there something a little contrived, materialistic and exploitative about the whole shebang today??
What should I do??
