Hi Henrietta,
I'm sorry for your loss at Christmas. A friend of mine was in your position last year and went straight into a new job. She has just handed her notice in. I think the job gave her something useful to do after being a carer but now she is ready to think about herself. There can be no 'right' answer to that.
You are being very hard on yourself. We are all scatty to some degree and forget obvious things. That won't change but hopefully you'll come to accept it. Make a list of door codes on your phone? Another of mine in her 70's constantly complains that she always had such a good memory and now forgets everything. She's complained for years ever since I've known her. It just makes her miserable it hasn't improved her memory.
An outsider would not think you were a dipstick they'd be too busy wondering where they'd left something. In any case what does it matter what anyone else thinks of you? You're the only one who's lived your life and you are who your are, imperfect like every other human being on the planet.
I cared for my mum, who had dementia, for nearly 11 years. It took me a good 5 years, and some therapy, to get my head around everything we had gone through. It's very early days for you. I would just observe new feelings as they arise and try not to worry about them because they don't last. (The bad memory thing probably will last
)
This year I've noticed I'm getting sudden cold flashes during the day again and icy feet at night. I'll mention it at my next hrt appointment but I don't want to take any more pills when I can put socks and a jumper on.
Be kind to yourself now you deserve it.
