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[4meSons]

I'm really struggling today ladies with my mental health. I don't know what to do with myself I feel so agitated. I can feel it in my chest and in my stomach and my thoughts are running wild again. It's like I have relapsed back to 2015. I've managed to get an emergency appointment for this afternoon but i really don't know what the GP can do. I'm already on antidepressants and they won't give me diazepam, I just want to sleep and wake up better but I can't. I know all about mindfulness and relaxation but when I'm this bad I can't do it. I can't leave the house I only feel safe lying on bed and even then I can feel the adrenaline surges.
Don't know if this makes sense but I just need to get it out there and out of my head

[Dotty]

Hope your GP can help. xx

[Mary G]

I hope this gets to you in time.  If I remember correctly you are taking 200mg Utrogestan.   That dose would cripple me to the extent I would not be able to function so perhaps it is too much for you.   You could halve that dose by using 100mg vaginally and/or you probably need to look at the 100mg vaginal Utrogestan regime for 7 days.

You probably also need to increase your dose of oestrogen.

If you are feeling suicidal then something needs to radically change.

I hope that helps and please let us know how you get on.

[CLKD]

Why won't 'they' give you a Valium-type medication?  Is that your perception or have you been told?  Maybe a different GP will see your needs differently.  I found over the years that taking 5mg prior to an event really worked, so well that I never thought "I might need another".  I knew that I could take 10mg x 3 without problems, if necessary.

My GP has given me an emergency medication which begins with an 'L' ....... which is similar.  Again, taken when anxiety floors me it works within 24-40 mins., either knocking me out completely so that my body gets a rest or easing the anxiety.

Do let us know how you get on!   Do contact your local MIND Charity walk-in centre, I found them really supportive when my friend ended his Life 2 years ago.  They gave me the times they were open, kept in touch via e-mail and got me through a difficult few weeks when I had very black thoughts.

 

[4meSons]

I found half a diazepam I kept for emergencies so the initial panic has eased thank God
Thanks for replying and your right Mary G  something has to change but unsure what
I wonder if maybe I'm not far enough into peri and the hrt is fueling the fire as I seem worse since starting it 2 months ago. I was plodding along sort of ok still anxious but was functioning, I would swap the anxiety for the sweating in an instant .
CLKD the doctor has told me before she won't give me any more diazepam. I don't know why, it's not like I abuse it I still had a few off 2 years ago but have none now. He will have to give me something or I will be contacting the crisis team or knocking on there door for help or admittance.
I will tell him the only way I could make the appointment was I took a tablet or it would be a home visit
It makes me so angry that this day and age people have to suffer with these symptoms. I know benzodiazepines are addictive and are hard to withdraw from I'm not stupid I have a nursing background so surely it should be my choice. It's alright for the doctor to sit there sometimes playing God but he goes home after his shift to his normal life while I'm suffering and don't feel safe
Sorry about the rant but I am just so annoyed and angered by it all

I wish I could afford to email Dr Currie to ask her advice but with not working that is beyond my reach living on benefits

[Roseneath]

My heart goes out to you. You summed it up brilliantly about wishing there was a 'button' to get rid of the gloom in your head. Believe me really are not alone in this.  I have felt very low since Christmas day with underlying negative anxious feeling.  For me the endless grey and wet weather is a real factor I think. I have used valium twice in the last 9 months to get me through very low periods when I feel I can't function but have to. Try to get across to the GP just how down you feel. (I said to one at the start ' I am worried you are not going to take me seriously' and that seemed to get their attention).  If you can force yourself out for a walk; just 20 minutes, head down, don't think, concentrate of your breathing. Watch an old movie. Fight it. Get angry with it. You have a world of support on this site.

[4meSons]

Roseneath I may refuse to leave till he gives me immediate help. I can't even go visit my mother who is in a care home and deteriorating which is a major worry . I keep expecting a phone call to say the worst then I will feel guilty because I didn't get to see her
Maybe I should write it all down and show doctor as I think I may be crying too much

[Roseneath]

That is a fantastic idea. Write a list and put the last point ' Do I feel I now have a plan that will help me' and underline it. Go through all the points before they have a chance to wade in. Make a follow up appointment at the desk before you see the GP. It will make you feel like you have a short term plan. Let us know how you get on.

[Daisydot]

Definitely write it down for gp you'll find it's a relief to get it out and it empowers you as your clearer in your own head.good luck and lots of hugs and support you can beat it dont lie down to it think positive keep yourself occupied with any old rubbish so it breaks that negative train of thought.i so wish you well.xx

[Annie0710]

I hope you manage the tell gp everything you've written here.  I do understand about diazepam but sometimes needs must and it sounds like you could do with another short burst of them

My daughter developed panic disorder and agoraphobia last year and she was refused another prescription of them too.  Now she manages on sertraline and beta blockers

My really hope your appt with a successful x

[Brainless]

Hello,

I just wanted to let you know I felt this way on utrogestan and also dydrogesterone. Although they seem to suit a lot of women better than other progestogens I was seriously unwell on them. I don't do very well with any progestogen but strangely the more synthetic ones don't leave me overwhelmed with suicidal feelings.

I use Valium but only when I feel in crisis like you have described. It really helps me get through those terrible times safely until I can begin to function again. I wonder if your gp would refer you to your local mental health team who would probably be more open to prescribing them for you.

Try to explain to your gp exactly how unsafe you have been feeling and remember this is caused by hormone and chemical imbalances in your body you need and deserve help. Be kind to yourself eat something nice, snuggle up and watch something you enjoy on tv and remember, however hard it is to believe, it will pass.

Warm hugs

[Mary G]

I think we need a dedicated thread on here for crap doctors, hopefully some of them will read it.   I know you are in no mood for jokes but this sums it up well.

'What's the difference between God and a doctor?   God doesn't think he's a doctor'.

Seriously though, it's time to kick some ass and you need to push hard for the valium to get you through this difficult spell.   Tell this individual that you will come to the surgery and will not leave until you get a prescription.   

Please don't give up.

[4meSons]

You ladies are fantastic I wish I could take you all with me to appointment so I don't get fobbed off.
The thing is I don't know if I need a mental health referral or a meno specialist referral or maybe I need both ?
I'm aware this is an emergency appointment with a doctor I don't know but if he can help tide me over till I see my gp at end of month that would ease me greatly.
I have a feeling he will poo poo the hormonal imbalance and go down the mh route. I don't know what to do about the hrt should I stop and see how I go with a view to restarting it in the future or carry on ? I'm so indecisive and just want to feel better

[bramble]

There is a big notice in our surgery's waiting room that no doctor will prescribe diazepam, lorazepam etc. so it seems like a country wide crackdown.

Bramble

[Brainless]

 You may find that if you can get a referral to a meno specialist and settled on an hrt that is suited to you the mental health issues will ease up but if the gp is unwilling to give the Valium prescription to get you through this awful patch then you could stress how you've felt suicidal and ask to be referred to the mental health team. That might just spur him on to give you a few days worth of tablets which you can take as and when you need them. You can see both. I have. I get a weeks worth of Valium at a time which I take very occasionally so lasts ages.