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[Bring me Sunshine]

Hello everyone ( i had no idea the menopause could do this-no one ever said and no mum as she died in her 50s from breast cancer).

A quick update last year was a year from hell.  Started feeling depressed despite being on sertraline(i had started that 4 years previous due to losing my dad-and they just kept me on it as I was so well).  I was 51 dr wouldnt recognise a link with menopause and took me down more anti depressants, physchiatrist until I was diagnosed treatment resistant.  I read about Carol Vorderman & other celebrities & initially started on premarin, did nothing, moved to elleste solo(as I have the mirena coil for progestorone).

I was finally referred to the wonderful ladies at the menopause clinic at the JRadcliffe hospital and when they upped the elleste solo tablet to 3mg it took a couple of weeks but I was well again. I must add that I am still on the anti depressant venaflaxine, (that had done nothing until 3mg of elleste solo.)  The ladies at the clinic said that if I was not absorbing enough oestrogen then no anti depressants would work.

 After a horrendous 8 months I went back to work, and felt like a member of the human race again.  All was well for 2 months then I started getting bad migraines(3 in 2 weeks) after never suffering, plus I had started to feel a bit flat again.

The clinic took me off the tablets and put me on oestrogel 2 pumps a day.  That was 3 weeks ago and nothing has changed, they wanted me to give it 6 weeks but im so desperate I added a 3rd pump a few days ago.  I feel like spreading it on like body lotion if it could only work like that.  My fear as well as the lowness is work, due to go back after xmas holidays on Monday and now thinking of quitting as there is no way i will go off sick again(they have been amazing with me) but the lack of confidence, self esteem, teariness, forever saying to my husband I will never get better, cancelling things not planning ahead, no joy in anything has returned with a vengeance.

I have emailed the clinic(in wed/thus) and when my boys go back to school will go to the gp just to see if there is anything else I can be doing.

No wonder no one told you about the Menopause and it was like a big secret totally took me by surprise.

If there is a magic cure I will let you all know.

Keep posting as it does make you feel less isolated.  Most people I speak to tell me they "sailed through" with my new found rage I could punch them.

Jules 

[Dotty]

Hi just want to say that I know exactly how you feel . I had a horrific peri but nobody recognised what it was. I had to give up work. I somehow managed to get to a place where I could cope but 5 months ago it hit me again like a sledgehammer. I am waiting for the hrt to work now but am capable of doing nothing at the moment. My life has stopped and I too feel that I will never get better.

Stay strong....

[CLKD]

Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful. Browse round, make notes.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi BOROGLASS - welcome to MM
The meno can certainly 'mess with the head' - sadly HRT can only do so much and I don't believe it can ever replace the hormones we made in our productive years. I actually got bad headaches on higher doses of oestrogen so perhaps you need to reduce a little?? Oestrogel does absorb really well so you could be getting much more than you did with the pills.
The roller coaster that is 'The Menopause' can be so ghastly.  Good luck. DG x

[Salad]

Welcome BOROLASS
It sounds like you're going to fit right in, it's amazing what the Menopause can do to you 

Hang in there and trust the lovely ladies at your Menopause Clinic to help you find a dose that suits you again. HRT seems to be a trial and error medication and just when you get it right something else crops up.

 

[Coll]

Hi Boroglass,
Horrible, you poor thing I keep wishing I could go back in time with hindsight and do things properly but hey ho.
 Talking abount punching people. I was scanning  one lady whose 'friend' had said to her 'the menopause hasn't treated you very kindly'. She couldn't stop the weight gain, but when I asked how her so called friend was coping, as she was the same age, she said she had chosen to drink her way through it. So on the bright side at least we 're trying with the best medical advice and information we can get to stay at work, look after our families and not retire to nunneries (i think that s why wealthy women used to go).
Give yourself a big hug xx

[CLKD]

That's OK if one can tolerate alcohol!  Not something I've ever liked ....... unless it was an evening mug of cocoa? 

[CLKD]

Do you want to let people tell you where you live, this is an 'open' forum and one can quickly be identified  .

Let us know how you get on!

[Bring me Sunshine]

NO please dont say where you live I just said it in relation to being referred to the oxford meno clinic.  I will keep you posted x

[Annie0710]

Hi

3mg elleste solo is above the max dose (I'm not trying to scare you promise,as you've been prescribed this by professionals) so now you're on oestrogel you really can experiment easier with dosages to find your right balance.  2mg elleste solo served me so well for years before I reached natural peri at 45, and I've tried a few different variations since and oestrogel seems to be the best for me.  I started on one pump and 8 months on I seem ok on 2.5 pumps

I believe it's all about getting the balance right x

[Bring me Sunshine]

Thanks Annie x just off to take boys footballing keeping busyxxxx

[CLKD]

So remove your location then? 

[Bring me Sunshine]

Update.  Menopause clinic asked me to have a serum oestradiol test which came back at 215.  As it is under 250 I have been told to go up to 3 pumps of oestrogel from last Friday.  Back to work today after the christmas break but so full of anxiety trying to not fall behind and not make any mistakes.  I was never this person at work or home its as if an alien has moved in.  Are others lost like this? 

[Roseneath]

Totally identify with feeling like an alien.  Sometimes it feels like I am monitoring and analysing everything I do and can't just step back and 'be me'; I'm waiting for myself to trip up and then over analysing it. It's very hard to describe to my husband; it's like my mind is racing but I feel spaced out at the same time. The only time I have felt better recently is when I went on a long walk in the sunshine. I feel I get phased by social situations or even just taking the kids shopping,  in a way I would never have thought possible a year ago. It sucks.

[Annie0710]

I've always been a sensitive soul but meno put me on constant ‘high alert'

Nasty business this is x