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[Mindfulmoomins]

Hi everyone,

I was awake from about 2 am last night and feel so low today.

I am on day 9 of 3 pumps of Estrogel and stopped the ultragestan 2 days ago after 10 days on that.

I am obviously due a bleed and my mood is very down. I am crying a lot too.

When I emailed the specialist she said she was confident my anxiety and other symptoms would improve on the Estrogel but it would take 2-3 months.

I am already on antidepressant and an anti anxiety medication.

I had 5 days last week where my thinking felt more ‘normal' and like me. I warned my husband I might dip after stopping the ultragestan but I feel awful.

I have done some exercise and may take a Temazepam if I wake in the night and can't get back to sleep tonight. I hate having to take something and last week I really thought things were on track as when I woke in the night I didn't have a thumping heart like I did last night and could get back to sleep.

I realise the forum might be very quiet as it's Christmas Eve but if anyone is out there I would love to hear from you. This is such a rollercoaster. I thought I was on the way to getting my life back. I am going to need a lot of patience with this journey 😔

[peri]

If it's any conciliation Mindfulmoomins you're at the worst point in your regime.  I always have a dip 2 days after finishing utrogestan as it leaves the system.  You should get your withdrawal bleed soon and then start to feel better after that, so try and hang on in there and be kind to yourself x

[Dotty]

Hi just want too say that I understand what you are going through. 

I've been on hrt for 10 weeks and still feel dreadful. I was also told I have to give it 3 months.  Take care xx

[Kathleen]

Hello Mindfulmoomins.

Although it's the Christmas break the menopause continues unabated sadly. Fortunately for us the ladies of the forum are always on alert and ready to provide a shoulder to cry on. You are not alone at this or any other time and I agree that we all need the patience of a saint to get through it.

I can't offer any specific advice about your regime but if you've felt better before you're likely to feel better again. It certainly is a Rollercoaster and not a fun one.

Wishing you well and I hope your day improves.

K.

[Tinkerbellj]

Exactly the same here pet and at the same place in cycle too only for the last three cycles I have had no bleed at all. Its hateful would cancel.xmas if I could but I have young children.  I am on the same hrt too. Hang on in there and take whatever u feel u need  xx

[Donna-paul]

I'm in the exactly same as you started estrogel on 29th nov but my gynocolgist said to start on 1 pump for 2 weeks and gradually build up it. I'm 12 days nortestrone and the same feeling tearful and  aniexty and down. It's so hard to get the balance right!

[Mary G]

You should feel better once the bleed starts.  As others have said, you are at the worst point of the cycle right now but it doesn't last long and your mood will gradually lift.

Hang in there! 

[Mindfulmoomins]

Thank you everyone. I am sorry others are suffering but glad to know I am not alone.

I feel so dreadful I am just getting through today one hour at a time.

I am just praying I get a bleed soon and things lift.

I can't believe I feel this bad and I'm on antidepressants.

I am encouraged to hear this is the worst time in the cycle.

I am hanging in there due to the support and advice on here.

I promise once through this I will support others going through it as best I can.

Thank you xx

[racjen]

Dear Mindfulmoonins (and I do love your username by the way)

you are SO not alone in this; it's hard enough the rest of the year but to be suffering this f*****g curse at Christmas feels so much worse. I have awful awful morning anxiety at the moment, I've tried amitryptiline and then beta-blockers and ended up suicidally depressed on each of them (all this within the last month). So now getting thru from one day to the next on diazepam and a hell of a lot of crying. I feel as if my whole life has fallen apart. I really feel for you - we seem to be a hidden group of sufferers dealing with something that's supposed to be natural and part of life, and yet for us small minority it triggers the most extreme and debilitating set of symptoms which nobody really knows anything about.

I'm hanging onto the small moments of pleasure I do still have, principally with my daughters and one or two really supportive friends, and those moments when a robin sits next to me on the bench when I'm crying, or someone I don't know does something kind out of the blue....We will get through this and thrive again, keep believing that.

Much love and Happy Xmas
Rachel x

[Mindfulmoomins]

Yes Rachel we will. Xxx

[NorthArm]

This journey is brutal for some of us....I've been trying different hrt for 6 months now, and am currently trialling a patch & a progesterone tablet regime - lowest dose. I too tried the anti depressant route, and like racjen, found myself suicidal - have never been so unwell in my life.

If you've just stopped the urtrogestan, your anxiety, insomnia and low mood could be like an extreme form of pmt? And you might feel a little better once you start your bleed? I've not started on the progesterone part yet of my new regime (I have earlier this year been extremely sensitive to the massive doses I've been put on!), but it's at a much lower dose than before and I'm keeping a very close eye on myself. I too was getting smashed awake by anxiety attacks at 2am, and have a medication that I take to settle and put me back to sleep, so your idea of using temazepam for that is a good one. I also find eating regularly helps, as does magnesium before bed.

We will (hopefully) all get through this, day by day, minute by minute. Good luck with it all xx

[Mindfulmoomins]

Thank you everyone. Xx

[Yammy1]

Hi mindfulmoomins, so sorry to hear your having such a hard time. I tried hrt a few times but it never agreed with me, I went down the ad route. I'm six weeks on citalopram and the morning anxiety is the pits. I had to take Xanax yesterday to take the edge off. This anxiety really is awful and the hormonal roller coaster seems never ending. Hope you feel better soon x