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[Bint36]

Hi everyone

I found your site after googling whether I have some awful brain disorder or my memory loss/brain fog is part of the menopause.

A little background: I'm 50 years old.  I suffered post-natal depression with my first child, didn't with my second.  I had a break-down when my parents both died in 2009 and I've struggled with anxiety and panic attacks ever since.  I've been on Mirtazapine for eight years, same dose 30mg.  Basically, I'm a little unstable.

It all started around 47 years of age and I assumed it was the perimenopause. At the end of November, I would have been a full year without a period.

I have good months and bad months, and this is turning out to be a very bad month.  I'm convinced I have something more sinister going on.  I've just rang my 20-year old daughter at work crying down the phone telling her I'm losing my mind and I don't want to feel like this.  My daughter is studying psychology at university so constantly reassures me it's all down to the menopause, bless her.  My irrational mind is far outweighing my rational mind.

The latest thing to tip me over the edge is that I'm missing words out in my texts or forgetting how to spell words or recall words.  I'm constantly re-reading everything, constantly trying to spell every word in my head, constantly worrying that I'm going to forget something important.  This hasn't just started but I'm noticing it more and more. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I rattle off every birthday known to man just to make sure I haven't forgotten any.  I type things like typing instead of trying?  I'm a document production specialist so I type all the time!  Last week I turned up at two different appointments on the wrong day and I had written the wrong day in my dairy.  I think my cortisol levels are constantly at 100%.

I've read the symptoms of menopause are varied and wide and I think I must have every single one of them: hot flushes, brain fog, memory lapses, panic and anxiety, weight gain, mood swings, insomnia, fatigue, etc.  If it's written somewhere on the oracle that is Google, then the chances are I have or have had it.  I've been to the doctors a couple of times but they don't seem unduly worried.

I have a lady-care magnet down my pants, I take B12 and D3 supplements with zinc.  I'm awaiting delivery of Tulsi tea (which contains holy basil) and Black Cohosh.  Basically, I'm turning into a witch doctor trying to find cures to help me deal with this wonderful thing called the menopause.  I must say the magnet has helped with my hot flushes so that's something positive (although I do sometimes find it down the leg of my trouser!).  I have been doing yoga for the past 14 years, with breathing and relaxation but at this moment in time I'm finding it hard to concentrate on any of it.

It would be lovely to hear if anyone else if going through the same things as me or whether I should go and see the doctor (again) for something far more serious 

[CLKD]

Welcome to the journey, from where I'm sitting your experiences sound 'within normal limits'   

Browse round.  Make notes. 

We have threads about 'doing silly things', 'that woman in my house' as well as discussing menopause and it's differences.  Right now my brain feels like putty  .   I forget the names of people I have known for ages; can't remember the proper words to describe things; my friend and I have complete conversations using wrong words etc. but we seem to end on the same page! 

My Husband (DH) and I have a 'his and hers' calendar.  If it ain't written on it, we aren't doing it ;-).  Could you have a calendar system for each Company that you support and remember to look at it every evening and write down by the kettle where you need to be and at what time, so that when you make your morning cuppa, you get a nudge?  It's about finding coping strategies. 

I have a different calendar for birthdays, MOT, dental appts..  As long as I remember to look at it .....

Also, when I meet friends I have been known to say "I can't remember what day it is but don't tell me 'cos I won't remember" - so that they know I'm in a 'don't know' day .

Do read through the banner at the top, there is a treatment area.  There is an alternative section too, some ladies find that when hormones take over, any benefits from herbals etc. might be lost.  ....... and breath! 

[Bint36]

Thank you for welcoming me to the journey and for responding. It means alot to me.

I will browse through the threads and see what I can find.  I do have lists on every workspace in the house but I think I need to start having a calendar system as you suggest that way everything is in it and I'm not the only one having to worry whether I've forgotten something.

Breath in, breath out.  I may not be calm just yet but at least I'm not the only one and I'm in the right place for help.

Thanks again

[CLKD]

Oh you're never alone on here, someone will usually have suffered with similar moans and groans 

If you have family ensure that they also have calendars to note where everyone is.  I have started outs for 2018 - nowt very exciting but our Dentist wanted to book us in for January  . 

Make lists.  Ask away!

[Snoooze]

Hi Bint,
Please be reassured that it's a very common meno complaint! I have experienced exactly the same as you. When I first started mis typing words or typing words that were totally different to what I thought I had typed, it scared me but over time, I noticed it seemed to be when I was overtired. I've got used to it now and it no longer scares me.
Also, be reassured your Dr isn't concerned as if they are concerned, they can do a memory test there and then. You can also do said memory test online. I did it and even that scared me as i got some things wrong but I was scared when doing it that I had a memory problem so I think I made it worse!
I would say try and relax about it. The more you are panicking over it, the worse you will make it. Your daughter is right to reassure you it's a meno symptom but similar memory problems are caused by medications or stress. When my husband is stressed with work, he always says the wrong word for things or gets his words muddled up. It's also when he's over tired.
All the things you mention about your memory problems, I have also experienced so I hope it makes you feel better to know you're not alone x

[LizzyD]

I've read the symptoms of menopause are varied and wide and I think I must have every single one of them: hot flushes, brain fog, memory lapses, panic and anxiety, weight gain, mood swings, insomnia, fatigue, etc.  If it's written somewhere on the oracle that is Google, then the chances are I have or have had it.  I've been to the doctors a couple of times but they don't seem unduly worried.



I'd send you a reply that made sense......but after being away from home for a while, on my first night back I'm lying here listening to what sounds like an army of something horrible knawing and scrabbling away in my loft above my bedroom 😖😩😖😩😩.  Pest control needed first thing in the morning I think!!

It's freaking me out so much I'm unable to concentrate to formulate a sensible  reply......but I sympathise. I've had or got every one of those symptoms....

Just took me a minute of staring at my screen trying to work out the letters to type to say “I've”.......?  😳

And it definitely helped me when I found this site  to realise I'm not the only  person struggling...

Welcome to the mad-house of Menopause!

[Bint36]

Thank you everyone 

I started to feel the same as yesterday so I logged onto see whether I had more replies and they have helped me calm down so I can't thank you all enough.  I love the community spirit of this site and how everyone rallies round to make you feel better about yourself.

Of course I don't want people to feel the same way as I do but in a way it's a comfort to know that people are experiencing the same things as I am during the menopause.

I need to batten down the hatches and ride the wave of this thing and hope that I come out in one piece the other end.

My black cohost has arrived this morning so fingers crossed 

[CLKD]

LizzyD - we thought we had squirrels in the loft, turns out to be a blasted heron, eyeing my gold-fish   


Does it tell you on the leaflet Bint36 that Black Cohash is for short-term use only?

[dangermouse]

They say withdrawing from hormones is like withdrawing from Heroin and this is why the symptoms can be so extreme and can throw your mind off so much.

[Suzi Q]

Hi Bint, im over 20 post and i still get flushes etc
I too f8nd i will say 8m putting the washing in the fridge and stop knowing i meant washing machine. I was fed up of having to think whats the day i wake up saying its mon
When in meno it was worse id have gorgot my head if it wasnt on id go into fugues.
I didnt listen and then say sorry my mind was everywhere mind it still is 😁
The more you worry the worse it becomes.
If you genuinly feel svared h o to gp.
X

[Roseneath]

I could have written your post 2 an 6 months ago BInt36.  I have been to the GPs twice in tears thinking my mind was going. I am 48 and in Peri.  Prior to the visits I wasted a couple of weeks worrying about it 24/7 and like you doing all sorts of silly memory tests. The GP said straight off that there was no way I could recount what was worrying me and why,  if anything was wrong. She said it is 100% anxiety magnifying it.   I was putting orange juice in tea, mixing my kids names up, all in a blind panic. The more I paniced the worse it got. But do you know 2-3 weeks later it shifted.  The worry had gone. Also you notice that EVERYONE gets things mixed up but I think our hormones make it such a big scarey deal. I have spent 4 years worrying about one health scare after another, planning in GP appointments, Googling. I have no answer I just know that you have to ride it out.  ( But please be very careful of using these online supplements. I took Menopace out of desperation for 3 months and ended up with raised liver enzyme results which scared the hell out of me.  Every GP / nurse has warned me off them. If you look at the NHS web site hardly any are recommended. You may be actually giving yourself more to worry about. Keeping busy, hydrated, distracted is the only way to go. I would not take anything off the internet as you don't know what is in that tablet.

[Eviepf]

Hi Bint36

I just wanted to agree with the others that this sounds pretty normal for meno, and also that the more you worry about it, the worse it gets (I am speaking from experience here). The more I panic and mentally chase round for words and names which I KNOW I know, the more elusive they seem.

Years ago I worked with an older lady, who told me that 'at her time of life' women become members of 'Craft'. What's that, I asked? 'Can't remember a f***ing thing' she replied. I now now exactly what she meant....

[Hurdity]

Hi Bint36

 

I need to batten down the hatches and ride the wave of this thing and hope that I come out in one piece the other end.

My black cohost has arrived this morning so fingers crossed 

Having read your story - it does sound like your symptoms are down to menopause and of course your parents dying (so sorry to hear this) would have added to this (or the other way round) in a profound way. The fact that you suffered PND is a possible indication that your moods are strongly affected by your hormones and in particular - oestrogen depletion. If you look at the work of John Studd he has written papers on what is known as reproductive depression for which he prescribes high doses of oestrogen  not anti-depressants - (obviously not counting situations like a mental breakdown which would be treated separately).

http://www.studd.co.uk/postnataldepression.php
http://www.studd.co.uk/reproductivedepression.php

I quoted your words above because actually you do NOT need to batten down the hatches and ride this wave of a thing!! Unless you have a medical reason why you cannot take it, then HRT is the best treatment for hot flushes etc. Please consider this rather than riding it all out without proper hormonal help - it is quality of life now which is important. Starting HRT around the time of menopause is the best time to start so do give it some thought - it is what the medical profession now recommends for women of your age and stage with these symptoms, even if you only wanted to take it for say 5 years.

I would throw away the magnet - the effect is placebo! Think carefully about whether you need all those supplements as too many can be as harmful as too few - as Roseneath has said.

Keep going with the yoga and maybe have a look at your overall diet if you need to rather than all those supplements. Keeping to healthy BMI ( ie losing weight if necessary), taking more exercise, stopping smoking, reducing alcohol and stress - ie lifestyle measures - will all do you far more good than supplements and herbal remedies.

I wept buckets during peri-menopause - and I had no idea that was the reason! I used to cry while driving in the car just thinking about things - I just put it down to whatever circumstances were happening at the time. Your daughter sounds lovely and supportive - but with a few extra hormones you should hopefully say goodbye to all those tears - at least quite so often. The decision is yours of course but maybe you might like to consider this option of a low dose HRT?

I hope this helps but if you need any more help please do ask.
 
Hurdity x

[CLKD]

I wonder who thinks that withdrawing from hormones is like withdrawing from heroin ...........  . perhaps a different thread dangermouse.  Hormones are after all, 'natural' ...........

I understand from talking to sufferers, that the effects from true drug addiction can affect both inside and outside of the body: shakes, vomiting, diarrhoea , hallucinations, lack of appetite ........ craving for the preparation B4 using, craving for the drug itself or the friends associated with using .........

When I had to withdraw from an anti-depressant several years ago my biggest worry each time the bounce back symptoms: 4 me it was like the reason that I initially began the AD: struck, was that I would have to go back onto the AD - until I realised that the bounce back didn't remain for more than 8 hours.  It wasn't easy. 

But I did survive ;-).


AHHHH - just got it !

[Patience]

I totally get that withdrawing from hormones may feel like withdrawing from heroin.  Today I feel fine, no anxiety, no aches and pains, and life is good.  I can only assume that my estrogen levels have leveled off or may be rising.  I do know when estrogen is dropping anxiety starts along with other assorted meno symptoms.  Estrogen withdrawal is awful.