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[lesley998]

Hi all
New to this site and I must say it has opened my eyes to how ignorant I was about the menopause. Who knew there was so many symptoms !I knew about the hot flushes and periods stopping  but the rest ...oh my 
I don't know where to start but will try give a brief history and hopefully you ladies can help me as I don't know if im starting menopause or losing my mind
I'm 47 and have suffered with anxiety on and off most my adult life but it was always after some life event and controlled quite quickly by anti depressants. In 2014 another major life changing event happened but I managed to plod on until early the next year when I had to have surgery ( deviated septum) and from there everything went down hill. I would wake up every morning and could literally feel the adrenaline surging round my body and then full blown panic which lasted up until evening just to be repeated the next day. I couldn't function, couldn't work couldn't sleep or eat I lost nearly 10 kg in 2 months.
The doc put me back on antidepressant but this time it didn't work, tried another that too did nothing. Went to a&e thinking I was dying a few times and was treated for water infections.  Next I was referred to a psychiatrist and given some heavy duty meds which did help but I still didn't feel right. I was diagnosed with GAD.
My periods were still coming but not regular they seemed to be every 3 weeks and very heavy and I had terrible joint pain this I was told was all a side effect of medication which it could of been.
I was back at work but still felt not me and then the hot feeling and the sweating started earlier this year the sweat would be literally running down my face it was embarrassing and I was constantly fanning myself and using a desk fan . A colleague mentioned I could be starting ' the change' but I thought I was too young so just got on with it.
Last week I had a terrible panic episode at work and I don't know where it came from it scared the life out of me and then the next day I woke with that awful feeling back and thinking my meds had stopped working. It was while I was googling that I discovered the 34 menopause signs and I ticked off 18 of them!!
Even the burning tongue one which ive had since last year. My period hasn't yet arrived so I'm late but when im telling doc they put everything down to side effects of med and my anxiety ... My head is battered am starting menopause or am I just anxious?
Phew that went on a bit so if anybody did get to the end of this post please feel free to comment
Many thanks 

Hello....and welcome to menopause.  it will be the worst few years of your life, but if you KNOW it is 'normal' for some women, and NOT bone cancer/mad cow disease/brain tumour or any of the other diseases I thought I had on a daily basis, you will cope better.  Personally, I believe that ladies of a nervous disposition before meno(depressed, over thinkers, perfectionists, people pleasers) will always fare worse with the mental symptoms.  The anxiety is HELL.  I used to feel the adrenaline/cortisol kick off as soon as I woke.  Butterflies in stomach, nightmare anxiety.  All day with no respite.  My saviour has been Prozac.  For some reason it just works for me, although my problems are cyclic and I never know when they will return.  HRT made me worse. Someone once told me that years ago women like us were locked up on asylums, because they didn't understand menopause. Think Jane Eyre and the ex wife in the attic. They still don't understand meno, it's a horrible mix of brain chemicals and hormones and physical symptoms.  Just remember, this too will pass and if you understand why it's happening, it's half the battle.  X 

[CLKD]

It helps to talk ;-)

I too used to stop the ADs when I felt better.  I have a 22 month cyclic depressive illness and have to take ADs for Life.  Once I accepted that I began to have a Life again.  I would advise to stick with the medication regime you are currently taking or your body won't know if it's flying a bike or riding a kite ;-).  If it is helping right now, why change?

My worst time is morning.  Quueasy.  Scared that it will never improve.  I have to go into automatic pilot and 'get on' until I begin to relax, usually about an hour after my breakfast!

All those commitments ahead of me  and as the day goes by, I become a different person.  GRAZE!  I have safe foods to hand: Dextrose tablets for a quick fix; dried fruits and nuts to chomp on B4 my body gets hungry; bananas; sliced chicken breast quickly fried with fresh peppers, garlic, ginger on a bed of rice. Pancake mix - when I'm really ill and can't eat at all Himself mixes a bowl so that the moment I feel hungry he can cook a pancake for me.

I still fancy Yorkshire puddings but so far he hasn't remembered to cook me any 

[Nasil41]

I've just been reading how Charles Dickens noted on a visit to an asylum that most of the inmates were women... I wonder why lol
Don't worry I won't be changing or stopping any meds until I see psychiatrist but I am considering talking to my doctor about HRT I just hope she will renew my fit note as I could not cope at work the way I am
I will try to eat something at proper times even if it's just a yoghurt or a piece of fruit and get out in the fresh air even if it's just walking round the block with my dog 

[babyjane]

I made this mistake a few weeks ago.  After being on Escitalopram for 22 months I felt on an even keel so I thought I would see if I still needed it.  Boy did I just!!!  I got myself into a right pickle stopping it, horrible discontinuation symptoms which got worse by the day and I ended up at the doctors.  She gave me a gentle but good talking to which sorted me out and I restarted my meds.  I am still not quite right but I am getting there and feel better now.

I keep making the mistake of stopping them when I feel "normal"

It helps to talk ;-)

I too used to stop the ADs when I felt better. 

Personally, I believe that ladies of a nervous disposition before meno(depressed, over thinkers, perfectionists, people pleasers) will always fare worse with the mental symptoms. 

absolutely, I agree entirely and have found this to be the case myself.

[CLKD]

That's a start Nasil - I've had anorexia since age 5 so find eating hard work.  Bananas are slow release.  Dried fruits and nuts to graze on.  We are picking raspberries and blackberries in the garden so I can graze ....... ;-).  I also drink chocolate pots as well as occasionally having a bar of chocolate, lots of good stuff in chocolate ;-) - apparently.

[Nasil41]

My downfall is crisps I love them but am partial to a bit chocolate now and then 
I've been a bit up and down today it keeps fluctuating, one minute I feel ok and can see things clearly then 10 mins later im in despair thinking this will never go and this is me forever now 

[dazned]

You will get there ,unfortunately it doesn't happen overnight,it's more a case of sure and steady wins the race .
Don't be too hard on yourself about crisps and chocolate. One step at a time,first concentrate on the regular eating,it doesn't have to be big meals just what you can manage. Once the regulation is there you might find the craving things wears off somewhat. This is a time to be kind to yourself not beating yourself up. We 're always here to support you.

[CLKD]

Nowt wrong with crisps!

[Nasil41]

Another awful night of waking up drenched in my own sweat and a terrible headache, dozed after a couple of paracetamol but kept waking up with the horrible anxious stomach and doom  and gloom thoughts. Keep trying to sooth myself by telling myself this is all normal and probably hormonal and won't last forever but my it's hard work
Then got a text from GP surgery saying my test results are back and to make an appointment to see a doctor, I don't know if everyone gets this message or have they found something !!!!

[CLKD]

I expect that as there is the e-mail option, you have a message to make an appt. on the basis of the blood results.  Better than an early morning 'phone call? 

Will you take a list of symptoms and queries to your appt.? 

Despite the fact that the anxious stomach may well be hormonal, do discuss the option of an anti-anxiety medication as an option should you require it.  How is your diet today?

[Nasil41]

I am on a cocktail of anti anxiety meds ( venlafaxine mirtazapine and pregablin) been on them over a year now and was managing okish, got myself back to work after 15 months unable to work.
Yes im going in with a list and asking for a referral to see a psychiatrist again as I don't want to go back to how ill I was previously.
I've managed to eat some mini cheddars and im going to try some soup soon. I have a raging thirst I know

[CLKD]

Have a read of my survival list above ;-).  See what's appropriate for you today.  Nowt wrong with 'cheddars', crisps, ==  what ever you fancy to get the gut started.  If you are thirsty, have a drink.  I often have a hot Bovril and sometimes with a round of toast with it.  Easy to drink.

I've been anorexic since aged 3 .......

Sometimes I fancy custard 

[dazned]

Big hug to you. Hang on in there,just try to eat what you fancy. When I was gripped by anxiety I used to have strange fancies,garlic mushrooms,melon,..not together !😀 it was like pregnancy cravings and that's hormones so maybe not so different.
Maybe your meds need an overhaul,sometimes ADs taken over time stop working,especially if there's been a shift in ones own system. Do let us know how you go.
Oh just remembered try to concentrate on your breathing,again when I was bad someone on here pointed this out to me and I realised that I was doing silly little shallow breathes ! It's really surprising how breathing technique help enormously.

[CLKD]

SING 

[Nasil41]

My breathing gets terribly bad when anxious but I do try to belly breathing when I notice it
I think my appointment tomorrow is making me more anxious I hate sitting in doctors waiting room and I hope she doesn't dismiss the idea that my hormones could be contributing to all this x