Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[babyjane]

1976 we married but we were at school together.  We have been around each other since we were 13.  I can't remember a time when he did not feature in my life. 

[Ju Ju]

Thank you Trey. It's lovely that you can honour and grieve for your first husband within your marriage. And that your husband does not feel that your love for your first husband does not threaten the love for him. Rather it has enabled you to give and receive love. We have had our ups and downs, but rode them together, thus making us stronger.

[CaroleM]

Juju, did your Mum think you might want to make pretty tissue swans?

Brighteyes

[Ju Ju]

 

This is the lady who asked me how many beds DH had in his house. I did tell her the truth. There were 4! She couldn't bring herself to ask me if we were sleeping together when I stayed with him at the weekends. By the way, I was 24 when I met DH and not living at home. And she keeps bewailing the fact that my DD hasn't got married to her partner. My answer is always the same. She's happy and it's up to her.

I wish there was a better word than partner. And what to call his parents? We call each other the out laws! Trouble is someone I know overheard me, jumped to conclusions, and started to berate me me for being disrespectful! We are all very good friends, out laws or not.

[babyjane]

'significant other'? 

[CLKD]

"My Handsome" 

[Sooby]

just watching a programme on 4oD called I do at 92. Seems it's never too late to get wed. 

[CLKD]

How lovely.  A lot of it is about companionship probably.

[Sooby]

For the oldest couple it was about companionship with morality I think. They wanted to spend as much of their precious time together in a care home and were probably of a generation which didn't feel comfortable doing that without legitimising things. Perhaps they felt judged or embarrassed?

One couple had been living together for 3 years when he proposed and I think that he just wanted to prove to himself and his previous family that he could be a good husband and get things right this time. Self forgiveness maybe? His wife to be had, had an abusive alcoholic for a husband first time round and only married him because she was pregnant. So I think she too wanted a fresh start.

They had all been married before and in one way or another had all loved and lost. I guess if you have been Mrs Something before its easier to be Mrs something again........?

Being married rather than co-habiting, clearly means something to people regardless for religious beliefs or moral judgments. I'm just still not sure what exactly it means to me or why......? Perhaps you only really understand it when you do it?

[CLKD]

I *fell* literally 

[jmj]

I'm getting married in just over 2 weeks !

Just me and him and we'll meet the witnesses when we get there. 

Why am I ? I'm nearly 51, divorced at 36 after 17 years and said I'd never remarry.  Had a disastrous 7 yr relationship after that with a man I constantly refused to marry.

Then I met the guy I'd known all my life.  I offered him friendship only then 2 days later told him I never want him out of my life, fortunately he thought the same and we've been together nearly 8 years.  He's my bestest friend forever and my rock.  He was the one mentioning marriage a few times and couple of years ago whilst away for my birthday he took me to a jewellers to buy an engagement ring, then last year he took me abroad for my 50th and said about planning a wedding.  We don't need a fuss, our kids are all adults but we don't have any parents alive so want to do this alone.  I want to be with him forever and make it official x

Oooh Annie, you are my sister from another mother!

I too have an ex husband, ex very bad long term relationship after, and then I married someone who I knew from my youth. We did it two years ago, only us and a minister. And we did it on our 7th year aniversary.

Good luck and all the best to you! Love rules!

jmj

[Annie0710]

Almost identical stories ! X

[Sooby]

JMJ,

       I hear stories like yours from women so often and I never tire of them!

        So often we girls seem to wander in the wilderness, academically, personally, romantically or professionally. Resisting the inevitable until suddenly a light goes on and we are filled with a passion to claim what we really wanted all along.

      Yours and Annie's experience reminds me of an excerpt by Caitlin Moran about her doomed love life and how she finally fell in love with her long term friend.

     http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2101087/My-Big-Fat-Freaky-Wedding.html

     I do wish you both all the luck in the world but I have a sneaky suspicion that life and love is on your side this time and you aint gonna need it.

[Annie0710]

We always joke if we can pitch our tent, take it down and still want to be together, we can survive anything ! X

[jmj]

Thank you Sooby,

Yes I'm pretty sure life is on my side again! It took "a while" but better late than never