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[Silly]

Can anyone relate to the feelings of worthlessness.  It seems the slightest thing sets it off.  It's my birthday this week and feel I'm worthless to even have a special day like you aren't worthy or it but others are.  It's hard to explain really, I think also it's my identity seems to have changed with lives changes.  When like it I seem to just be in tears.  The worst thing is hiding it every day and acting happy. Is anyone else like it on here?

[Butterfly22]

Ah sending hugs, I do get like that, feel like it's to much to ask people things ect as not worthy. I've always been like this though so can't blame the menopause I also think it's a lot to do with confidence.
Don't forget though you are just as worthy as anyone else to have a special day xxx

[CLKD]

Nope.  Despite my Mother favouring my younger sister, I knew how I felt!

Maybe jot down the good and bad points of your day-2-day week for a while?  Also, make a list each evening of what needs to be done the next day even getting up and getting dressed, that way you will see what you *actually* do achieve.

 

[Jintyhilton]

Hi Guinea Girl , it's a terrible way to feel and I too felt that way when menopause struck. I suffered many terrible symptoms. I'm not sure where you are in terms of treating your symptoms ? Have you had your bloods taken and ate you on any program ? A visit to the menopause clinic in London changed my life. I live in Scotland. I'm 52 and I feel fantastic (again) my prescription needed a little tweaking to start with but after a week i was literally like a new person ..http://www.studd.co.uk

[Silly]

Hi Jintyhilton,

Thank you for the link, I read some I will read more later. You travelled a long way to see this person I'm glad it helped it must be a relief you had someone for help. 

I aren't on any programme, I'm six years post meno now.

 I tried the NHS lets talk for 10 weeks but if I'm honest it made me feel worse, I completed the weeks though.  The worthless etc seems to have all happened after my Mams death and empty nest it seemed to start last summer, I think it's depression related but I just done want medicines for it, so I tried counselling and keeping busy.

I do get a lot done CLKD something I seem to punish myself by doing too much, I've biked about ten miles by half nine, cleaned windows, cleaned car in and out, done washing, cleaned everywhere and done the garden almost like I aren't worthy to sit and relax. If I sat and read a book I'd feel bad and think I'm being lazy. 

I'd love a friend to go out with and have a laugh. X

[CLKD]

Who are you trying to please?

[Silly]

Mmm good question I suppose doing these things makes me feel more worthwhile, like I have a purpose I suppose.    Its very hard being honest over the keyboard as answers may upset someone 

[CLKD]

If you live alone?  If you have family maybe delegate? that way they will be aware of what it takes to keep house/garden tidy and how much time you spend each day ;-). 

Some ladies lose their sense of purpose when the kids leave home  .  Me, I prefer to be in our garden so our house is    but I can't do it all.

Do you have 'me' time at all?

[Jintyhilton]

Sounds like maybe it's not hormonal :-(  mine was all linked to just feeling blue, forgetful, panicky, not to mention the flushing and insomnia, tingling legs .... I'm a positive person and feeling so negative didnt sit well with me - I just wanted to run away ! Seems crazy now, but it was my reality. I got myself some blood tests which confirmed that my poor body & brain were lacking in the things I needed to function - hormones!!! 

[Silly]

If you live alone?  If you have family maybe delegate? that way they will be aware of what it takes to keep house/garden tidy and how much time you spend each day ;-). 

Some ladies lose their sense of purpose when the kids leave home  .  Me, I prefer to be in our garden so our house is    but I can't do it all.

Do you have 'me' time at all?

Well it made me smile, the house bit.  I think that what's happened I.e. Purpose CLKD.  My me time is my cycle via a well know coffee chain, that really de stresses me.  Interestingly when I did the garden today my husband commented on the nettles in the border and I said well that's because I can't be a,,,d to pull them up and I said it shows when I don't do something the difference so you are right about delegating.   

[CLKD]

Nettles are good for butterflies ;-)

I know that I spend too much time on my laptop so chores don't get done! [note to self  ]

I have never cycled that far - well not in one go  .  Clean windows? we only do ours when the neighbour opposite tells us that she can't see if our curtains are open in the morning  .  You don't do that everyday .........

If your husband doesn't 'nag' then let something go?  Do you do anything together, i.e. cycling?  Are you a member of a cycling group for company? 

It always amazed me when a secretary that people only noted something 'wrong'  and rarely commented when something was 'well done' 

[Ju Ju]

Many people feel they are not worthy, due to many reasons. Some physical e.g. Hormonal, chronic illness or environmental, current or stemming back to childhood and probably a mix of everything. Recognising you need support is the start, but the support needs to be with someone you feel comfortable with, trust and respect.

I had those feelings of worthlessness, but came to the point of being ready for support, which I found with a counsellor and a life coach. The life coaching was done via the telephone. The first thing this wonderful man said was that my worth and value in this world is a given. The effect of this statement has had a profound effect on me and enabled me to start the road to recovery. There were many things I learnt, including what self care is. The counsellor approached things from a different angle, helping understand the past and move on.

I say to you what helped me. " Your worth and value in this world is a given."

If you want to know more of the help I received, books I found helpful etc, then you are welcome to PM me.

[babyjane]

y experience with the earlier years of the menopause is that it affected my self confidence and this can make you feel as though you aren't worthy of anything or that you don't deserve anything nice.  I don't know why it happens but I am sure hormone levels are responsible.

I am now 60 and post meno and I am feeling a lot better, still not very good but certainly a lot better.

[Yorkshire Girl]

Aww Guinea Girl sending you  yes I've felt the same but like Lil all through my life and agree it's to do with confidence, which I do lack. You are just as worthy as anyone else to enjoy your birthday xxx

[Silly]

   I typed a reply and the internet cut out I'll leave it till tomorrow, it keeps playing up.