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[suehill67]

hi I'm sue & am 50 in September... I haven't been myself for the last 12 months & have recently got worse, I can't sleep have the most terrible mood swings, & nightmares, hot flushes & can't stop crying, it's like I've gone completely mad overnight....i am generally fit & look after myself don't smoke & eat healthy....i just feel as though my life is spiralling out of control & I don't know what to do....im at the happiest time in my life & this is just spoiling every aspect of this.....plz help me xxx

[CLKD]

  browse round. Join in.  Make notes!  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful.  You haven't gone mad thought it can feel it sometimes    .

We have a 'funny room' too ;-).  Ask away.

[dazned]

 

You're definitely not alone now.

[Roseneath]

Hi . I joined this forum today. I m 47 and like you feel that for the last 6 months I am on a rollercoaster nightmare of anxiety, brain fog, sleep problems, feeling like I am going to cry, fear of almost a panic attack when out. Basically not being 'me' and feeling sad and mad. I have seen 5 different doctors; three female, two male - who seem to just throw various drug options at me from Anti anxienty (proprananol) and sleeping pills to HRT (I have been taking Elleste Duet for 3 months). I have been worried I have anything from Dementia to Thyroid problems to Womb cancer - they put me on a self help anti-anxiety course!  I remain confused and bemused by the lack of a common / sympathetic approach to this as it is truely awful after being a happy adult to 26 years. I have tried Menopause herbal / vitamin pills (doctors don't like them...say they mess with yr liver), Mindfullness (Head Space or Calm App definately worth a look), Exercise,  no alcohol, less caffeine. I have had NO hot flushes and get regular periods with varying cycles of  22 to 30 days  (with brown gunk in the middle section which has been checked out).  Truth is NOTHING seems to ' fix' me; I have periods I feel almost fine then two weeks later I feel almost depressed and can hardly get my words out. I had chronic insomnia for 5 days in a row and ended up on sleeping tablets but managed to get off them. Now I could sleep 24/7. Felt OK for 4 weeks but last few days the brain fog, sadness has returned . Am thinking of dropping the HRT as it has made my periods much heavier and not improved my monthly mood swings at all.  I do find forums like these very valuable as I thought I was going mad. Hugs to you.

[suehill67]

Thankyou to you all for replying I went to the doctors today & had my implant out as I don't need it & thought this might help with my symptoms.....i have been mentally & physically great until I'd say the last 8 to 12 mths but these feelings are terrible panic attacks palpitations anxiety attacks...i feel like I'm invisible & I feel alone as my mum gas dementia & doesn't know me, my children  (3 girls) aren't interested...just makes things worse...i feel like I'm rambling now...im a very proud woman & am usually in control...im confused about what to do especially after reading all the controversial things about hrt...i can cope with a few hot sweats & sleepless nights...its the mood swings, anxiety & panic attacks that I can't handle. I haven't had a period for about 6 mths because if the implant so don't ask where I am with them lol xx

[Roseneath]

I know just how you feel with the anxiety and panic. You have to fight it head on I think or else it is overwelming. I made myself go swimming today..felt like sitting on the sofa and crying....but I did for a few minutes feel a bit better. Or i do a Mindfulness App called Headspace (free) which takes me out of myself for 10 minutes. I find the pressure of the kids asking for stuff all the time makes it so much worse.  Maybe go out for a friend for a meal or a coffee. I know its hard & there are no quick fixes. I have very bad days then some days I feel fine - has been like that for 6 months

[suehill67]

I keep fit regularly....but I know what u mean about forcing yourself & I do!! I'm listening to music in bed & that helps & I can't sleep either....being a woman is pants lol....thanks for listening to me vent....id love to hear about your journey 2 & perhaps we could help each other xx

[peri]

Hi suehill67

Have you considered hrt?x

[Roseneath]

Whatever the chemical changes causing this I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. Three days ago fine. Two days ago dog tired all day and brain fog; kept using the wrong words which made me worried. Glass of wine with dinner and felt much more relaxed. Yesterday woke feeling teaful, mind racing. Yesterday night feeling better, more calm, things in perspective. Slept well. This morning woke anxious and teaful. My problem is I work from home so am with my thoughts 24/7 with the kids asking if I am OK all the time. Maybe Menopause is worse in the school holidays!

[Captain]

Hi Roseneath. I detect the panic in your words and it is very familiar. I thought I was experiencing early onset of Alzheimer's every time I found myself struggling to find the right word. Although it was hair loss that propelled me into the GP, the prescribed combination of HRT (femoston conti 1/5) and vit D has helped. I definitely feel a clarity of thought returning, that I was increasingly missing. I can't say I've reached any plateau of calmness and tranquility though, the hair loss is very stressful 

[Roseneath]

Thank you Captain. Your empathy brought tears to my eyes. (I had a bad bought of anxiety about memory loss 6 months ago and ended up at the GP who after asking me to recount my story said there was not way  could have done that so clearly if I had memory problems!).
The thing is part of me  KNOWS this is hormonal and I have had it before then been fine weeks later...but in the middle of it now all rational thought goes out the window. I don't seem capable to concentrating for more then a milli-second today.  I was in such a state (insomnia/anxiety) when I agreed to the HRT 6 weeks ago but now I am worried I have High oestrogen not low and the HRT is making the anxiety worse....I feel I spend me life at the doctors or on the phone to them but constantly am looking for reassurance and the miracle pill that will take all this away. I have such lovely kids; 8 and 9, and they look so scared when they think mum isn't 'right' or behaving like ' normal'.  My husband dosn't want me to stop the HRT because the insomnia was such a nightmare for the family.  I wish I lived near one of the menopause clinics but the nearest is 3 hours drive away because we are in the sticks.

[suehill67]

I'm going to see my gp again next week as all the herbal remedies seem to come with awful side effects & bad reviews....i have also heard different views on hrt aswrll but would be happy to hear your story......i haven't had a period due to having the implant but this was removed yesterday.....i am usually an outgoing person that kerps fit  & don't smoke but these feelings of anxiety & panic are affecting my quality of life xxx

[Roseneath]

Me too 100%on the impact of quality of life. I feel immobilized by it. Like I am in a shell. I did make myself go for a jog tonight and felt better when jogging (staggering?!) and on coming back. Also after eating I feel better. My problem is I just don't want to do any of these things which I used to love; cook/socialise/exercise - it feels like being stuck in mental mud & I have this sense of panic in the background - even going shopping and getting the kids stuff out.  have only have it this bad for the last 6 months and it seems to be on Day 16 and Day 25/26 ish it kicks in. Fake smiling is worth a shot though! This forum is a revelation isn't it.

[Captain]

Hi suehill67 I was very much against the idea of HRT. And my menopause was going fine until April when I started to have the sort of symptoms you describe. For me the ultimate trigger to act was hair loss. I'm 16 days into treatment (femocostin conti 1/5) after discussing it all with my GP.

The brain fog is lifting. I'm not as tearful. I feel more energetic (although I was low on vit d so the supplements might explain this). Maybe the sense of recovery is linked to being proactive and doing something about how awful I was feeling. Like I'm vaguely back in charge of me. Finding this website helped enormously. I feel better informed and less alone. If it wasn't for the continuing creeping baldness I'd almost venture to say I feel like the old me is slowly emerging.

Good luck with your visit to the GP. Let us know how it goes.

[Roseneath]

Just to say this morning something has lifted and I feel like a different person; the doom and gloom of the last few days don't seem to be there. I think that is why it is so hard to evaluate the different things we try because in the background there is this unexplained hormone cycle. I end up at the docs after a bad stretch...go onto tablets...but would I feel better a week later anyway? Looked through my calendar and it is def Day 16 and 26 ish that I feel terrible some months.  Problem is when I'm down I'm so really down and gloomy that I would take anything to feel better...like yesterday. I have made the decision to stop my HRT today but keep with the proprananol. Seeing the doc nxt Friday and going to ask if they will check my hormones over time before I make any more HRT decisions. The anxiety and heavy bleeding got so much worse in last 6 weeks. Will keep you posted.