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[weathergirl]

Thanks to all for sharing their  experiences. I find incredibly intriguing that for some HRT seems almost an utter necessity  - that their lives would be a complete misery without it.  Then on the other end of the spectrum, there are women that cannot tolerate it and actually do better without it. 

We all have these same hormones coursing through our bodies, yet we all respond to them completely differently!  I find this absolutely mind-blowing. I guess I feel fortunate, that I am one who's body must've adjusted very gradually during the perimenopausal process, because all I really get are just a few light flashes here and there. I'm on the 0.025 patch - lowest available - and only indicated for bone density, not symptom relief of any kind. It's a tiny dose.

I believe that each woman's  physiology and make up is so unique that what might benefit one woman, could be detrimental to another. The threads and many experiences related on here seem to speak to this.  One size absolutely does not fit all!

I'd love to see this thread stay alive (please?) and people continue to report back. Hugs to all!

[MIS71MUM]

It's true what you say Weathergirl. There's no perfect regime that fits all!
Weirdly my Mum had menopause after her 2nd child, my sister. My sister, had very irregular periods after her 2nd child. Both of them were in their 20's. I had my children aged 37 and 38, and my periods stopped for 8 months, a few months after my 2nd child was born! And I've missed at least 6 months consecutively ever year until my hysterectomy.
My Mum has never taken HRT, my sister only seems to take Vit E to help with flushes, whereas if I had no HRT, I would be in a mental hospital - I don't say that lightly.  I did take myself off to the crisis team at my local hospital 2 years ago and asked to be sectioned.

[Yammy1]

Totally agree we all have different experiences during this menopause and it's great to be able to share our stories without judgment or ridicule. Not one person has the answer, what works well for one person is horrendous for another. but by sharing we all benefit and Just knowing your not alone really helps 💕

[paisley]

Maybe the doctors should read these posts & then they might have a better understanding of what each woman goes through & the fact that yes we are all different & so they should treat us accordingly. I have never had a GP or specialist who understands. If one size doesn't fit all they they aren't interested. I must add these are only the doctors I have seen. I am sure there must be a few who are different

[Roseneath]

I'm amazed on a daily basis how we all share the same feelings of despair at why there are no clear cut answers to what is going on with us; surely if this is down to a couple of hormones then these extreme symptoms should be able to be controlled or understood. I am at a loss on a smaller scale. Hit by anxiety on a monthly basis (Day 16 & 26ish) for 12 months - bad bout of insomnia - on HRT - felt ok for 6 weeks - suddenly crashed with chronic tireness / panic / headaches / heavy periods - yesterday...stopped taking the HRT on doctors advice.
I have no idea all this time what chemical profile is causing this or what I can take to be ' normal ' again. Reading these posts the best I can be offered if an endless round of 3 month trials of anti-depressants or hormones to see ' what works' which is also competing with any natural cycle that is pre-existing.  I find it impossible to say if it was the HRT making me so bad or my existing hormone cycle. Seeing Docs on Friday and know she will say lets just wait and see!

[Yammy1]

Roseneath It's very easy for doctor to say oh let's wait and see and try something else, he/she is not the one exhausted from emotions all over the place. I really am fed up with 'try another dose or type of hrt' and see what happens, NO iv'e had enough . my body and my mind are exhausted with this 'trial and error' doctors keep dishing out. I know a lot of women swear by hrt and  for them it's a life saver, but it's not for me so I will just have to find alternatives and weather the storm. hope yu feel better soon x

[Roseneath]

You are right on the button Yammy.  I sometimes think it is the swinging of hormones up and down that causes the chemical upheaval. I think the stomach plays a part too as I seem to get intolerance to certain food and have looser stools when I am anxious and at certain times of the month. It is the brain / anxiety bit that needs more research I think - how the hormones cause the anxiety which has such a bad knock on effect on overall mood and brain function.

[Yammy1]

spot on Roseneath, I suffer terrible with my bowels and yes sometimes it's when I eat certain foods, sometimes when i'm anxious and other times for no obvious reason . What I don't get is why this anxiety can start at any time out of the blue, yet I can go days and if i'm lucky weeks without any anxiety. It has to be hormonal but I think the majority of researchers are male so not a lot of interest or time is given to us poor menopausal women

[paisley]

I totally agree. I can feel ok for a couple of days & then bam wake up anxious & down. I never know how I will be from one day to the next. Very unsettling & doctors don't get this & really don't understand or try to. They are fine if you go & the GP gives HRT & it works but for me & lots of women where HRT or ADs don't work they haven't a clue what to do with us. Its like why doesn't the HRT or ADs not work for you. They work for lots of other women. They make me feel a freak for being different

[weathergirl]

Paisley, Roseneath and Yammy I agree. It's unacceptable that the situation seems to be 'dropped' if you don't get on well with ADs or HRT.  The hormonal system in our bodies is so complex and I think most doctors are not equipped to adequately treat anyone whose situation is not cookie-cutter textbook.

I think that it's also a really tough time of life for women as children may be moving out and going to college (at least here in the U.S. it puts an enormous financial strain on a family), and our parents (if we're lucky enough to have them still), are aging and often need a lot of help.  Add a full/time job on top of it all, and is it any wonder we might wake up some days feeling despair, anxiety, etc?  And spouses or partners who don't understand or know how to help.....well, it just gets complicated.  Hugs to all you ladies and we have to believe that the worst of this will pass. 

Never give up! And know that each day can be better....

[weathergirl]

MIS71MUM, I'm so sorry to hear that things got that bad for you.   I have been at rock bottom before and I know what a desperate and horrible place that is. My heart goes out to anyone that has suffered like this. I hope your current regimen is keeping you feeling far better. Hugs!

[Yammy1]

Woke  morning feeling awful. Anxious and tearful. Decided to go out with hubby yesterday evening, all was going well until I had a drink then my heart started pounding really fast, I didn't run away, I stood up to it but it really terrifies me and ruined the night. Noticed lately that if I have a drink be it beer, wine or spirits my heart beats really fast, especially if I eat at the same time. I don't drink that much or often but this is really starting to effect our very rare nights out, just wondering if anyone else has same problem

[Roseneath]

I'm with you on this. For the last couple of years which co-incide with my peri-menopause starting I have not been able to tolerate alcohol as well; especially white wine for me. I don't sleep as well, I am much more irritable, it gets my heart going. I think so many of us have high anxiety around this time that the wine tips us over the edge (caffeine has the same effect on me). Funny though a gin & tonic I am mostly OK! I try to stick to soft drinks and green tea (fennel is nice if you like liquorice) but then don't beat myself up if I've had a bad day and want a glass with a nice meal I've just cooked. (Notice the I...hubby dosn't cook unfortuantely.....)

[Yammy1]

Thanks Roseheath, it's a relief to know i'm not alone, thought I was losing the plot. Just at a time in our lives when children are grown and were a bit more financially secure and able to go out and enjoy a nice meal and a few drinks this blooming health anxiety rears it's lovely head. When will it ever end. On a plus Iv'e just taken my anger out on the house, so floors and everything else is gleaming  I'm determined not to let this take over again as it has in the past

[Fullmoon]

40 days sans oestrogen for me now. I feel fine. I'd like to feel cooler - not having hot flushes as such just generally too warm. However this has been the case since menopause and HRT didn't entirely resolve it.

As I'm in the UK I actually chose summer to come off HRT this time. Reason being if I do have to throw the duvet off I'm still warm enough to carry on sleeping whereas in winter here you can get into the boiling/freezing thing!

I've no intention of restarting - too old now and fed up with both progesterone and bleeds. HRT was marvellous but enough's enough.

Hi StellaJane

Did you just stop or did you gradually reduce over a number of months?  I have to come off hrt for medical reasons - although I have been thinking for a while about doing it but never having the courage - I have been on it for over ten years now.  So I'd be interested to know how you did it and am encouraged that so far you are doing well.

Thanks