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[Mbrown001]

Does anyone else think that it can be an issue.

It's not something I suffer from myself as I'm more inclined to withdraw rather than confront....but I have witnessed, both in the real world and on various forums, more women being forthright and sometimes aggressive.
Is it because the age has been reached that some just don't care what others think, or is it hormonal ?
Is it a lack if hormones or replacing them.....with oestrogen , progesterone or even testosterone.

I have to say I've witnessed it more in the virtual world than the real world.
Is it because of the anonymity of a forum or what.

I have to say some things have baffled me recently so I'm just kind of trying to figure out why and what causes it.

In years gone by I would have waded in and had my say but the older I get the less inclined I become.
Obviously it's different for us all.

Do you feel more able to have your say or are you like me and say very little and then quietly seethe 

Mrs Brown

[babyjane]

Interesting concept, I do think it is easier to speak out online, you can be who or what you want to be without fear of recriminations as it is anonymous.  I also think sometimes the typed word is static and open to misinterpretation at times.  A consequence of believing passionately in something does mean that spats will occcur from time to time but we all respect each other and differences get ironed out without too much trouble.  If we all agreed all the time it would not be real.

As in any group situation there are always those confident people who can communicate easily and others who find it harder.  The important thing is that we are all respected by each other, listened to and treated courteously. I used to belong to a forum that was a horror for bullying and picking on other members by the admin and other members alike.  I didn't hang around very long and the forum didn't last long either, a couple of years.

I have to admit, I find it easier to speak out on a subject online that I can when face to face with someone IRL.

[Mbrown001]

Good points BabyJane.

I think it's much easier to be "brave" online.

I find putting my point forward easier in an anonymous situation. I still try to think of others feelings though. I think that's really important.
Sometimes things are said that make me sit back and think......well would you actually say that in the real world.
Thought should be given as to whether we might hurt other people's feelings at all times.

Mrs Brown

[babyjane]

I agree we all have to be mindful of the feelings of others.  I do proof read my posts before I click 'post' and as far as I know I have never said anything confrontational or rude, but I know it does happen sometimes.

To address your initial question I don't know whether this happens more at this time of life or whether it has anything to do with different hormone levels or low hormone levels.  We all know that we can be volatile or unpredictable in meno in the same way as happens pre -menstrually.  That's just how things can be.

[Ju Ju]

Mmm! I have become more assertive and confident with age, which is a good thing.

I wasn't cowed by the man who shouted at me when he wrecked my wing mirror today by driving so fast. Though upset as there were no witnesses, and angry, as I shall have to shell out, I stood my ground and was not intimidated. I'm feeling rather proud of myself now. But I'm not aggressive, though I used to be for a day or two with PMT.

I have noticed some aggression here on the forum. I tend to avoid as in real life. Walk. Don't engage. I can't reason with anyone when they are seeing red mist. Only talk non confrontationally if appropriate, when they are calmer, if they are close to me. I agree it is easier to be aggressive when it's anonymous. Think of trolls on the internet. And bullying which children have to deal with these days.

I try to be kind and respectful. And I didn't tell that man what I really thought about his behaviour today, but maybe not respect and kindness playing it's part, but more self preservation!

[Tempest]

It's androstendione, Mrs. B! Estrogen and progesterone leave the building, and the ovaries become androgen secreting little  blighters over time which then converts to estrone via peripheral conversion. Hence chin hairs, grumpy mood etc. etc....Oh, the joys!

I don't have ovaries, so does that mean I miss this bit out? At least that would be SOMETHING.... xxxxx

[CLKD]

I won't take any flak these days.  I wouldn't say boo to a goose until my mid-30s then realised that the way not to be walked over was to put my point over. 

[babyjane]

I have kept ovaries Tempest but I find that I am a lot less aggressive now that I was in my 20s, 30s and 40s.  I seem to have mellowed and become calmer and more patient, not all the time but a lot of the time 

[Mbrown001]

Does adding in extra hormones exacerbate the aggressiveness.
I really don't know.

I have read things on forums that have made me think.....why on earth would anyone say that.
Is it thoughtlessness or carelessness or what.

I know we can be sensitive at times but the ..."aggression" of some both on various forums and in real life baffles me.

It's quite an interesting question I think.

In "real life" when in peri, I had a shocking temper that I really had to try hard to control. The older I get however the less I can be bothered. I'm much more layed back these days.

Anyone else feel the same.

Mrs Brown

[babyjane]

Yes, me (see post above) 

I don't think there is always a reason as surely personality type comes into it somewhere.  Some people are naturally more placid and compliant than others and we have probably all known someone who likes the sound of their own voice and shouts others down and butts in.  I have certainly met people like this on internet forums and in real life.

My experience is that on the whole MM is certainly one of the better forums, maybe that s because we are all of a similar age and in the same boat and know how it feels.

[CLKD]

I'm the other way round  .  I had pre-menstrual anger, things that didn't bother me all month would make me fly in an instant.  Anger went the moment the bleed began.  Until the next month.

When I was working as a Medical Secretary for a Psychologist I learned a lot about communication, something that I wasn't taught within our family  where it was all shouting  .  As a child I buried my head into a book with hands over the ears many times. 

There is 1 family member than can rile me within seconds so I have little contact these days ......... as can drivers on the 'phone or driving outside the speed limits.

[Mbrown001]

I agree.

No matter what walk of life or whatever forum you are on  there are always those who like to ....searching for a word here....be heard...be in charge.....be the top dog.
I just wonder if that is a forum persona or if that's the way it is in the real world.
I've watched women in shops etc.....putting their point forward...in an aggressive way. It gets them no where to be honest as the people they are complaining to just shut off.

As my mother used to say......you catch more flies with honey than you do with ****.

Had a way with words did my mother 

It's true though.

Mrs Brown.

[Tempest]

Aww, BJ! You're always just lovely!  I think the 'mellowness' is something we have earned, don't you? xxxxx

Mrs. B, I think adding hormones in can be a bit choppy - I've had a few 'personality changes' myself whilst experimenting with HRT and frankly I don't care for that part! I like myself much better off HRT, or on a very low dose as I am now. Any more than that and things get crazy and wonky (hence why I haven't started Testosterone just yet)! If I do start it at some point in the future and turn into a right stroppy old boot, please DO all pull me up right away!  Hopefully Hubby will anyway - he's getting good at spotting these things,bless him! xxxxx

[CLKD]

I always preferred my Manager to be male than female.  I could write a book about woman pushing their points as well as men watching their backs so that neither were suitable to 'manage' staff at any level >sigh<

I think that family dynamics play a huge part in how some people react too.  Fear about not being 'heard' can cause stress and anger.  Something I grew up with and which I had no answer to until many years later.

A few years ago I was stationary at a set of traffic-lights with a queue behind.  I could see that the road to my right and left was very busy and knowing that the town can be a bottle-neck at that junction, I held fire even though the lights changed 3 times.  There was no where to place my vehicle but the bloke in his smart Merc behind began flashing his lights.  I put my flashes on, got out and wandered back, suggesting that he get out of his car "I have something to show you".  He did get out and I led him (not quite by the hand) to the road so that he could see the problem.  "You're not local obviously" I told him as I got back into my car.  He got my point and the others were grinning wildly from their cars. 

I would also hand dog owners a poo bag if they were unable to pick up after their dog/s had made mess ......... "I think you may require at least one of these?" ......... no shouting, simply a pointed message.

[Mbrown001]

Tempest....I think you are right. It can be very choppy...great way of explaining it. I know nothing about Testosterone. Do you think that again it could cause mood or personality changes. And if it did would we be aware or would it be up to others around us to tell us....if they were brave enough 

Such a difficult time of life though.

I never had a temper when I was younger. It wasn't until early peri that it all of a sudden appeared. It has gone just as easily as it appeared. Now I will do anything to avoid a row. I just get very very quiet....lol. Hubby says it's not a good sign.

CLKD, I always preferred a male boss to a female one. Much easier to work with I found.

Mrs Brown