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[babyjane]

Like CLKD my anxiety was rooted in very early on in my childhood and became a learned pattern of behaviour.  A lot of my digestive problems I can trace back to starting as a result of childhood anxiety and trauma.  However it was only when my hormones went topsy turvey at menopause that it all surfaced to the point it needed to be faced and dealt with.

Anxiety does for sure create well-worn paths in the brain. I've had help from medication, CBT and therapy. It's an ongoing and continual process, isn't it?  I'm
sorry you've suffered so long CLKD. I think some of us are nearly born sort of wired this way. But there's plenty of help out there to be had! 

I can relate very much to TovahFell's post and I have also had help from medication, CBT and 12 months of psychotherapy plus help from the posts on this forum and some of its members for which I am very grateful.

I still feel I am on my own when it strikes and it is reassuring just to read posts like these and realise I am not so peculiar after all (well maybe just a little  )

[CLKD]

We are not on our own however: 

Jessieblue - there is help out there.  I sent MIND an e-mail - how did you contact your local Group?  Also, years ago my GP gave me beta-blockas which ease that awful surge of adrenaline which can trigger anxiety.  On top I have an emergency med., of course meno-brain here can't remember the name, other than it begins with an 'L' - on an as-necessary basis which is how I used Valium successfully during the 1991s.

As stated what you do 4 your family won't be noticed - how about giving each of them chores: i.e. keeping rooms tidy, putting laundry out to be washed, let them do their own ironing, cooking, washing up?  Delegate? to the point of being able to take 1/2 evenings 'off' each week?  That way they may see exactly what it takes to organise keeping a home.

Let us know how you get on at MIND and there is Samaritans too who may have lists of local contacts which may be helpful.

[Tempest]

Is it Lorazepam, CLKD? Fast acting benzodiazepine and at 1mg (the lowest dose), 5 times stronger than 2mg of Diazepam. I was offered it by my psychiatrist but declined after I read Stevie Nick's story of becoming dependent on it, but it's ok as an occasional 'rescue drug'. xxxxx

[CLKD]

Oh we are a Mine of Info on here today  -    I think that's it and because I know that it works within 25/40 mins., I don't need to rely on it.  But without 

[Tempest]

 

Yup - it works fast, CLKD! Known by it's nickname 'blue bombers' up here because well, the tablet is blue - and because it can bring agitation or anxiety down really fast (hence the 'bomber' bit). A guy at our CMHT told me that!

I now have problems with benzo's in that they cause REALLY depressed mood in me - dramatically so. It's just been a recent development, so I avoid 'em. I've had to rely on 'square breathing', 4.7.8 breathing if it's really bad (can make me feel woozy) and sheer bloody determination. Sheesh!  xxxxx

[CLKD]

Well it ain't sold as blue down here, that's Ativan, also used as a pre-med..   Also, over breathing can cause light headed feelings!!

[babyjane]

I've got some 2mg Diazepam for our journey next weekend.  I might not even need to take them, just have them in my bag 

Goodness I just Googled 'Blue Bombers' and up popped Viagra!! 

[Tempest]

Eek! Wow.........it must be the Scottish name, BJ!  xxxxx

CLKD, you probably have something different then,  but Ativan it is in the US for sure. Whatever you have, it's tried and true for you and that's all that matters!  xxxxx

[DaisyB]

Jessieblue - read my posts - I am new and have reached what I would term as 'crisis' a few times over past few months. You are not alone. The anxiety rolled over me in waves ( prob similar to what some ladies here describe as adrenaline surges) and I have felt terrified. The very unusual pains, numbness, pins and needles, shortness of breath etc etc all fed my health anxiety- and so a vicious circle. I had the stomach tests privately, twice!! And only through this forum have I recognised that mine also started in childhood. I actually had forgotten about forcing myself to be sick after eating and having a barium meal X-ray at 8yrs of age!!!
Ok so I'm not preaching because I have just survived a really bad weekend last week and am back on my wagon again trialling CBD oil ( legal) for anxiety as well as B12 - so far so good ( but as I am learning I will not be too cocky about that) - so.... self-care???   What are you doing- if anything at the moment?? First rule is always take care of you - or you can't take care of others..... There is a course (free) through various agencies called 'living life to the full' could be a step in the right direction.  That's uk wide (I think??) can you get a wee plan together for daily self-care ?? Make a list of things that you like and if you are constrained financially then stick to things that cost nothing. Set aside that time everyday. And make a start on caring for you. I don't know what age your family are but yes it is thankless - until it's not done for them!!! Delegate if you can. Keep posting because as you write you heal and you do begin to see a path - I will be eternally grateful for the support on this forum and I don't say that lightly.


Keep in touch


DaisyB xx

[CLKD]

 

[jessieblue]

I am eternally grateful to you all for taking time to reply.  I had a real crash last week and am slowly trying to pull myself back up.  It really does help to write and to read your thoughts and experiences, so again THANK YOU. You literally are my lifeline.  Havent heard back from MIND yet, hopefully soon.  I know my problems started in childhood and I grew up in a very violent and volatile environment.  My mum was always there, although I mostly took care of her from age 10 or so emotionally, as my dad was violent and a terrible womaniser.  Then my sister, who I adored got cancer at 21 and I thought I was going to lose her too.  I was only 15 at this time and so I know a lot happened that triggered anxious feeling in an already anxious child.  Frustratingly I thought I had beaten it, but as you say the mono years seem to have tripped me up.  I am tempted to ask for some diazepam, I have had some before bu only ever taken the odd tablet.  I am so afraid of meds but just having them does help.  Xanax seems to be a drug widely prescribed in the US Im not sure if we have it over here.  CBT oil sounds interesting, thats cannabis oil right? 

I adore my family but I guess I am afraid that soon they wont need me at all....my youngest son is 18, currently doing A levels and soon to fly the next.  Wow, its a difficult time of life alright.  It is really good to come on here and rant.  Thank you so much for being there ladies. 

[CLKD]

Xanax is prescribed in the UK.  Valium as necessary can be useful.  Initially I took 5mg to see what the reaction would be, then I knew how to use it - usually the night B4 an event.

Reflux can be aggravated by anxiety.

Your children will always need you!  Of course your role will take on a different aspect of their live-style and maybe you won't be 'in the loop' as much but that is part of letting go.  Are you keeping up with the 'A' Level homework? 

[DaisyB]

JB - CKLD is right - they will always need you - i won't pretend it was easy - my eldest left 5 years ago - I still pine sometimes for what I had - but you know I began to really appreciate time to myself as well.  I still have my youngest at home - at 27 I don't think I'll get to hold onto that for much longer - it's cruel that for many of us we come to face meno at the same time as elderly parents need more support from us and our children are leaving the nest.
I have an emergency stash of diazepam- although not even that worked last week when i crashed! I'd keep them handy.


Keep posting and enjoy the support and guidance from all the knowledgeable women on this forum.


DaisyB x

[babyjane]

ours are 37, 35 and 31, all married with own homes and 2 with a family.

Guess who is the first point of contact when they want to share something - good or bad.  After their spouse it is mum and dad 

You never stop being a parent and they will always need and appreciate you albeit in a less dependent, more adult way.

[Mbrown001]

And it's really nice don't you think BJ

My son keeps in regular contact and our relationship is good in a more equal way now.
Sometimes I miss him just being around but after three years I'm used to it now.

Mind you when my daughter leaves home I know that for a while I will struggle as we are very close.
In saying that I will be happy to see her life move on in whatever way she wants it and be proud of the fact that we have brought her up to be a confident and independent young woman.

Mrs Brown