Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Please have a look at the questionnaire page if you have a spare minute.

media

Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?  (Read 8641 times)

Noheroicsplease

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 418
Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« on: May 05, 2017, 03:02:54 PM »

I have a pretty disciplined lifestyle - hard exercise, work, writing, young son, relationship - which takes up a lot of my depleted energies most of the time. I definitely feel tired a lot, and try to go to bed early.

But I also feel like I've become quite anti-social. I do what I have to do to keep my son out there, involved with friends, but for me, I find myself cancelling a lot of plans or not wanting to go to parties etc. I just cancelled going to a friend's 50th tonight and I feel bad about it, but also huge relief that I can go to bed and read my book.

I know energy has something to do with this, but it feels more layered. Like I'm withdrawn a bit.

Does anyone else have this feeling? Experience this?
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 79019
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2017, 03:51:52 PM »

I didn't go places etc. due to acute anxiety, it really wasn't worth saying 'yes' to find out I had to cancel ....... now I'm not that bothered!  We did the dinner parties, BarBQs, rambling walks with picnics in the 1970s   ::). This is now my time ;-).

It's not due to menopause but simply where I am in Life.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2017, 05:03:06 PM by CLKD »
Logged

Noheroicsplease

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 418
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2017, 05:20:54 PM »

If I plan something, especially if it's something special - going to a gig, party - I always cancel. Always. It's weird. I prefer staying in but I don't want to shrink away, if that makes sense.
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 79019
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #3 on: May 05, 2017, 05:24:03 PM »

Is it anxiety that causes you to cancel?
Logged

Annie0710

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 3862
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2017, 05:27:51 PM »

Yes, me

Before menopause you couldn't keep me in.  If OH suggested a night out I was in that shower dolling myself up in a flash

Gradually things started to change, I felt withdrawn, pathetic and wanting to be alone.  I thought I was just becoming 'not a people person' which wasn't like me.  I started to feel faint in company and it was only last year I realised I had the symptoms of social anxiety.  This started in 2012 and I hate it.  OH is so patient but it's not fair on him.  I'm a little better in recent months but so much room for improvement x
Logged

CLKD

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 79019
  • changes can be scary, even when we want them
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2017, 07:40:29 PM »

I by-pass the disappointment by not booking much these days and certainly not tempted to anything out of my comfort zone.  [except on Sunday >sigh< ]
Logged

Butterfly22

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 804
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2017, 07:43:52 PM »

Yes probably as I gave up alchol nine years ago, then moved to a new place to be near my partner five years ago and don't no anyone here but I'm use to it I guess. Xx
Logged

Noheroicsplease

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 418
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #7 on: May 06, 2017, 06:36:25 AM »

I don't feel anxiety - I can hold my own in most situations. I feel indifferent. I want to be on my own - I've always loved my own company but now I really love it.

The tiredness does not help. I feel like a soldier in the snow a lot of the time.

Glad I'm not alone.

I need to book less!
Logged

DaisyB

  • Guest
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2017, 08:54:24 AM »

Before I read your last reply I was going to say something very similar. I have anxiety but focused on mostly health or nothing at all! What I have noticed is I cancel social events left right and centre. I feel like I want to step off the train track and just sit by myself. If that makes sense?? I might sometimes just relish quiet time to make lists in my head lol if I do go I feel like I have completely wasted precious time xx
Logged

matildamouse

  • Guest
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2017, 07:55:27 PM »

I don't feel anxiety - I can hold my own in most situations. I feel indifferent. I want to be on my own - I've always loved my own company but now I really love it.

The tiredness does not help. I feel like a soldier in the snow a lot of the time.

Glad I'm not alone.

I need to book less!

I can so identify with the indifference. I would much rather scratch my cat's ears...
Logged

matildamouse

  • Guest
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2017, 07:57:20 PM »

Yes, that sounds familiar DaisyB.  I had times where I literally scuttled back into what I felt was my sanctuary i.e. home.  It's usually where you feel safest isn't it.

S x

Yes my home and my cat!

DaisyB, I can identify with that wasted time feeling...
Logged

DaisyB

  • Guest
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2017, 07:11:00 AM »

Yes, that sounds familiar DaisyB.  I had times where I literally scuttled back into what I felt was my sanctuary i.e. home.  It's usually where you feel safest isn't it.

S x
Yes sparkle and Matilda- I actually started feeling that I preferred my dogs company to other people's 😜
Logged

Noheroicsplease

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 418
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2017, 09:38:29 AM »

I can so relate to the dog/person thing!

I love hanging out with just my dog!
Logged

nearly50

  • Guest
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #13 on: May 07, 2017, 10:22:10 AM »

I've never been that sociable really, live alone and always love getting home and shutting the door :) I do find that I worry about planning meet ups in case I feel awful, or have a heavy period. Nothing worse than having to pretend you feel ok when you don't, or even worse, blabber on about the menopause yet again. Does make the 'what did you do at the weekend?' conversation at work a bit awkward though, unless it is a pupil who is asking as they've usually sat in watching netflix too ;)
Logged

edelweiss

  • Member
  • *
  • Posts: 220
Re: Has the menopause affected your interest in being social?
« Reply #14 on: May 07, 2017, 02:21:49 PM »

I've gone from social butterfly to hermit. I used to love people, parties, days out, and road trips. xxx
Logged
Pages: [1] 2