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[Sherekhan]

In Feb 2016 I had 2 large dermoid cysts removed, including one ovary which was destroyed by cyst. I'm 46. Since that operation, I have had intense night sweats, literally soaking wet, palpitations when I go to bed, trouble getting to sleep then desperately not wanting to get up in the morning. I am feeling more and more unattractive, make excuses not to see family and friends, absolutely convinced I will never have a relationship again. All in all, things are bad. I have a responsible job, in a school. The week before my period is due, my mood is so paranoid and negative I am reaching the stage where I can barely cope! It really does feel awful! This month since my last period I have not felt one occurrence of 'lightness' or happiness, I cannot tell you how bad I feel.
I've been to the GP - been prescribed Duet 1mg. I also take 2 fluoxetine per day also. I've been on the HRT 13 days now. Should I feel any benefits yet? Has anyone else felt like this? I'm not helping myself at the moment as I am comfort eating and feel shocking due to weight gain, I feel completely out of control and unhappier than I have ever been in my life. I do not want to leave the house, or even get in the shower.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hello Sherekhan and welcome to MM, you've come to just the right place for lots of help and support

I can promise you there are lots of women on here who know exactly what you're going through. and I'm one of them.

Your nasty symptoms are all basically just signs of too low oestrogen, caused by the removal of one of your ovaries, I would assume? You're still very young to only have been getting the oestrogen produced by just the one remaining ovary and hence the insomnia, flushes, low mood, aches and pains. They're all classic signs.

When I hit 43 I noticed that the 10 days before my period was due my mood sank to frightening depths, like you I felt totally numb and blank. At the same time, I noticed that my periods were getting much lighter (but, it can swing the other way for some women, and they get much heavier periods). The depression would only lift after my period had finished, so some months I was only getting maybe 10 good days a month.

Then Xmas 2013 things took a turn for the worse, and I started suffering with intense anxiety, the likes of which I had only ever experienced before when I had post natal depression years ago. I also just felt permanently blank and dead inside ALL the time, not just before my period. This made me suspicious that my hormones were to blame, rather than that I was just having some sort of breakdown.

Since then I have been on a roller coaster, trying various HRT regimes, and seeing various specialists. I would say it's still very early days for you being on HRT, and the effects need a month or two to really kick in.

You will get through this, though I know it feels like you're at the bottom of a well right now. Have a read around on here, nd there are lots of similar tales to yours x

[Dee46]

Hi Sherekhan

I am feeling the same as you & wonder how I put one foot in front of the other some days, I go to bed with anxiety & can wake in the night when I get up in the morning I feel this awful dread, I manage to hold down a job but sit at work & feel like I am on another planet some days, I feel I cannot cope with the easiest of things & just want to curl up until all this is over, it is so cruel I am still waiting for any benefits to kick in & on week 10 of hrt, also on AD which does nothing for the anxiety, i understand it is so hard to get motivated when you feel like this, I look at myself & think why you?  Why are you frightened to go places you would have just automatically done 18 months ago, you are not alone like GRL said we will get through it as my experience sounds like hers; girl power! 

[babyjane]

hello sherekhan, welcome to the forum.  You will find support and cyberfriendship here and a lot of ladies who understand how you feel.  I cannot advise but there are others who can.  I just wanted to welcome you 

[CLKD]

   it's a little early to feel real benefit, sometimes it can take 3-4 months!  Some ladies find that keeping a mood/food/symptom diary useful.  Gentle exercise.  Keep hydrated.  Eat well.  Ask!

Even though this is hormonally driven I think that you need to speak to your GP about anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication to even the moods.  No need to suffer, if you can sort out the mood changes Life will be a little easier.  Again, ADs can take 5-6 months to really give benefit.

As the hormones settle you will need ADs less.  Although you know what is causing those feelings, living through paranoia can be scary!

[CLKD]

Mind have walk-in centres, do send them an e-mail to find out when you local one is open and don't forget Samaritans!

  Alberte

[Sherekhan]

Hi everyone,

Thank you, I really appreciate your replies and advice.

I will give the HRT much more time and I think I'll start a diary so at least I can map my moods against my cycle and have cold hard evidence to present to my doctor.

I'm assuming my oopherectomy op has brought these symptoms on fast and furiously, although there was no medical advice warning me of this - therefore it's all come as a bit of a shock.

I read about diet and exercise being a major issue at this particular stage of my life, I think it's one of those times where only I can help myself - although the default 'feeling' I have when I wake is pretty horrendous I have to say.

Aaarrgghhhh!

Feels comforting there are others out there who actually understand what's going on here. Thank you 

[CLKD]

You can help yourself by asking here ;-).  Nothing is taboo. 

[MicheleMaBelle]

Hello Sherekhan- love the name 

You are not alone and you are not mad- your hormones are all over the place. The HRT is trial and error and you should be trying it for 3 months if you can, to give things time to settle. HOWEVER the type of progesterone in Elleste Duet is a synthetic one derived from testesterone and some women can feel really bad on it ( look at HRT preps on the website) . Even the kinder progesterones can have side effects so it may be that you have a sensitivity to progesterone but only time will tell. Keep a diary of your symptoms and if you're feeling really bad, get yourself back to the doctor to discuss your anti depressants. The HRT doesn't always help with the mood as the effects of progesterone can cancel out the benefits of oestrogen. Don't bottle things up- let loose on here as much as you need x

[GypsyRoseLee]

Sherekhan, I tried for nearly 2 years to control my anxiety and low moods using various HRT, but as Michelemabelle says all too often the synthetic progesterone in many HRT regimes can actually worsen, or even cause depression (just Google progesterone + depression, and you'll find plenty of info on it).

Last summer I felt so dreadful still that I also started taking 100mg of Sertraline + 100mg of Quetiapine, which has been a very effective combination for the most part. I am not 'cured' by any stretch of the imagination, but overall I am definitely better, and although I still do get some nasty low moods/anxiety they only last for a few days, and I am able to work through them. And I enjoy a lot of days where I feel calm and happy. I am back at work, and sleep very well and wake normally.

Whereas this time last year I was signed off work, and often too frightened to even leave the house. I was waking every morning at about 4.30am filled with dread and unable to face the day ahead. I was in a very dark and scary place.

There are several women on here who take an AD alongside their HRT, it's perfectly normal. There's really no need for you to suffer like this, there are lots of tools you can use to feel better. Keep talking to us, we all know what you're going through.

[Sherekhan]

Thank you so much - it feels so amazing to be told I'm not mad! Honestly!

Im on 2 fluoxetine tabs per day, not sure of the dose, but I have never really felt the benefit of those to be honest, I may do as you suggest and talk to the doc about this next time. As far as the Elleste Duet I'm still on the oestrogen tablets and haven't reached the second sort yet. I hope to god I don't feel any worse than I do now, in fact I don't think that's possible.

I know I need to be more patient, I was hoping I'd feel some normality after a few days, clearly I was jumping the gun there!

 

[samweller161]

Everybody has good advice here - it DOES take around 3 months to have a proper effect so you cannot really judge ideally until then.  Its not called The Change for nothing unfortunately.  Eating little and often does help and then when you have a blow out (I had a huge cream tea in London last week!), then it doesn't tend to make much difference.  I keep a spreadsheet which indicates bad sleep/sinus issues/anxiety and I include when I have alcohol as well.  I would include stress but every day at work is stressful (am changing jobs soon with luck).  It sounds cheesy but its a journey, not just an issue of periods stopping and life continuing as normal (although for some lucky ladies, this actually does happen - I hate them all!  ).
I do zumba once a week and walk a couple of miles once a week - I try and eat well adn I also take Vitamin D tablets which are supposed to help us

Good luck
SP x

[Sherekhan]

Well Smirking Pixie, I logged on today to ask if the inability to get to sleep due to restless legs was a symptom of perimenopause - then saw your message.

For the last 5 nights I've still been awake at 4am thrashing my legs! I've never had this before. I'm in day 14 of my Duet.

Does anyone have tips about this sleep issue?

[CLKD]

YEP.  Eat several small bananas daily for months.  I lack potassium so restless legs can be problematic.  I have been known to sleep with legs up the wall or propped up by 2 large blankets under the mattress which eased symptoms, then I was eating bananas to help blood sugar levels and hey ho! within 5 nights, no more restless legs.

[Sherekhan]

Okay cool, I'll start.

Will potassium supplements be good too?