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[Lanie66]

I have a technical job in a male dominated profession. I'm in a team of 12, with 2 other women, in their 20s.  4 months ago my boss (male, unapproachable, control freak) put me in a stressful position to do a job I wasn't trained for.  Luckily nothing went wrong but 2 days later I began having awful night sweats followed by hot flushes.  I stopped sleeping properly.  I thought it was stress then realised it was the menopause brought on by the stress.  I haven't had a period since either!  I'm really angry with my boss for causing this, but obviously have to deal with him on a day to day basis. Since then I've been unable to do an effective days work.   I'm winging it and it's only a matter of time before my lack of productivity is noticeable.  I can't think straight, have brain fog, can't concentrate, tire easily, sometimes can't string a meaningful sentence together, they want me to train in the above task as well but I genuinely don't want to/can't learn anything new.  The younger (vacuous) women have no idea and I'm loath to confide in them but have to work with them.  I feel even the males I'm closest to would have no empathy.  Recently I know that others in the team have arranged a night out to which I haven't been invited and as a result I feel even older and pushed out.  I also feel removed from the daily crack.  I'm struggling to go to work at a job I used to enjoy and a team I used to feel a part of.  Turning 50 last year was fantastic, had the best time, didn't feel 50, now it's just the opposite.  Is that how it's going to be from now on?   I feel so useless, can't even confide in friends because this feels so stupid but its taking over my thoughts.  I love this forum, anonymous but open and great advice….please??

[Dana]

No this isn't the way it has to be. Go to your doctor and find out what your options are. Many women have a vast improvement in their quality of life by just finding the right treatment, including safe and effective HRT. You need to be able to maintain a professional life. Don't just put up with feeling like crap. There is no need for it.

[nearly50]

Can stress bring on the menopause? Think it is more likely it was a coincidence but would be interested to hear if there are any studies about this. Agree you should go to your Gp for advice, might be worth mentioning to your friends too as they may well be dealing with similar issues.

[wombat62]

Hi sorry to hear you are having these problems. Definitely see your doc and get a low dose HRT to see you through, you're only 50 so quite safe to do so.

Yes, meno can be stress induced. I know someone who had a death in the family and the shock just stopped everything. Some ladies on here have said they had a major life event which seemed to put them into meno and I had a very stressy period and started getting all these weird things happening, like anxiety etc. then it returned after my op so these factors have an affect on our bodies more than we realise.

Maybe with some help you'll get back to your old self and feel like you want to take the training on? The lack of hormones can produce all sorts of weird feelings and emotions and I think a bit of paranoia as well. You mention feeling old and pushed out, mmmm...felt that as well!

Just remember to try and look after and be kind to yourself. All these new feelings are very new and scary, take care.

[CLKD]

Also get your Job Description and Contract out for a Very Good Read.  Is there an HR Dept. to work with?  Look at your skills base and check for jobs within the Company and outside so that you get an idea of the current market. 

[Annie0710]

Yes I'm one that was catapulted into it suddenly after the unexpected and sudden death of my dad.  I was 45 and had lost my mum to a sudden death too 12 years before that.  I literally was fine one day then bombarded with hoardes of symptoms the next

I too worked in a male environment , I was the only female amongst about 15 men.  I ran the office and did all bookkeeping and payroll duties and loved it up until then.  I couldn't cope and eventually left

[sweettooth]

Sorry to hear all that's going on Lanie66. I couldn't stay at my work when I returned after sickness because they had added other tasks in which I was just not up to because of menopause and cannot have hrt.  I probably could have pushed more re my original contract but my union didn't think there was any point (small print) and all that.

Saying that if you go to your GP and get help you will be much more able to cope with all this as menopause can sap ones confidence and as CLKD says look up your contract.

Good luck

[Woodlands]

Hi Lainie66
Bless, it is so hard and the meno symptoms can be vast and scary. I turned 50 a couple of years ago two years of meno by then. I had a new lease and left my now ex, and took a new direction after retiring from nursing......safeguarding team.
Your DD is needing your strength too so one day at a time honey....
Woodlands xx

[nearly50]

Yes, meno can be stress induced. I know someone who had a death in the family and the shock just stopped everything. Some ladies on here have said they had a major life event which seemed to put them into meno and I had a very stressy period and started getting all these weird things happening, like anxiety etc. then it returned after my op so these factors have an affect on our bodies more than we realise.

Interesting, my perimenopausal symptoms started after my mum passed away but I think that it was a coincidence  given that I was the same age my sister was when she started 4 years earlier. Hmm, though I suppose that was when my brother passed away now that I think about it. Hard to tell really when you're at the age when it is about to happen anyway and I don't suppose there's been any research done in this area.

[Lanie66]

Thank you ladies.  I'm convinced meno brought on by the stress which I'm over now but the meno remains.  The GP I saw then (male) said there was no evidence to suggest stress is a trigger.   2 female health care professionals I've seen since, one for my smear test and a physio both agreed with me that of course the meno can be triggered like that.  Anyway that aside I have a boss I can't talk to about this and some office colleagues who already make comments referring to 'women of a certain age'.  Thank God I'm still part time.  I think I'll go and see the nurse in our works medical dept. The last thing I want to do is take a period on the sick,  that's not me.  As you say Woodlands, a day at a time as it's not the only thing on my plate at the moment.  Thank you ladies for letting me vent x

[Kathleen]

Hello Laine66.


I think if menopause could be brought on by stress alone we would be vulnerable to it throughout our adult lives plus many of us find that we are suddenly hit by meno symptoms that seem to arrive from nowhere. Perhaps we need to be at the right age to be vulnerable, on the cusp if you like and then life stresses tip the balance. One thing is for sure we all face this event in our lives regardless of what life throws at us. That being said your work problems are not helping and I agree that  hormonal changes mean we lose a lot of confidence. I also sympathise with how these difficulties can take over our thoughts and the concern that we will be stuck like this forever. At your age you definitely have the option of HRT and other treatments may help as well.

I agree with you about this forum, it's a great place to find support and off load safely.

Take care.

K.

[samweller161]

My dad died in 2011 and I think that kick started some small bits and pieces although I didn't associate it until well afterwards - so yes, I do think stress plays a major part in it all!

I am actually changing jobs in April due to menopausal flushes and brain fog - and I realise how lucky I have been do be able to do this.  Like lots of others, I just assumed my periods would just stop and I would "feel a bit warm on occasions"  Blimey!  If only I had known

Next time I am def coming back as a man !!

SP x

[dahliagirl]

I think that meno also causes stress - all the flushes, palpitations, mood swings are like stress symptoms, and the two together are a heady mind-fogging mix.  My grandmother said her periods just stopped when she was 50, so it can happen just like that.

In your place I would definitely go and seek out a sympathetic medical professional who can give you non-judgemental advice on hrt and the best way to go for you.  In fact I would go for hrt.

Also, get help on the domestic front if you can afford it and spend your part-time hours off on something like yoga and mindfulness, nice exercise and a bit of tlc.

[CLKD]

If your colleagues continue making comments, whether they be male or female, say straight back "Bullying in the Workplace is illegal in the UK" and make sure that you record when and in which situation they make comments.  Do speak with your Company Nurse as well as going to a Job Centre to see what you are entitled to in the way of work place protection.