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[pegginout]

Newbie here, first post.
I am nearly 47 and at then end of my tether!
I feel so anxious, forgetful, snappy, sometimes I feel dizzy, not sleeping very well, my memory has moved out, I just don't have one!!! My heart even skips a beat sometimes.
I keep sweating even when it's cold (weird!) .
I currently don't take any medication but just wish it would stop.
I don't like feeling this way, I'm scared because I feel like the old Peg has moved out and I don't like this new Peg, she is a nutcase!
I don't like what I have become and want it to stop.
Is it worth seeing my GP?
I feel like I'm just going to be pigeon holed as Menopausal when to me it is such a huge emotional thing to happen.
My husband has just kindly informed me that I've been a right bitch this evening and he is going to bed to get out of my way.
I am gutted, I didn't know I was that bad.
I feel like a Psychotic Witch!

[kiltgirl]

Oh pegginout I could have written this myself, we're even the same age...

it's too awful for words...yes it's worth seeing your GP, do you have a half decent one? It can be upsetting to finally get the nerve together to go to your GP if they are dismissive.

They might try to give you antidepressants, which work well for some women I think, I could never take them because of the side effects. Hopefully they will do some bloods to check your hormone levels.

It feels so unfair to be 'rewarded' with this...sorry I'm probably not being very helpful, just wanted you to know you're not alone!

...my daughter has taken to spending more time in her room lately too xx

[pegginout]

Thanks for swift reply.
I just feel helpless, like my life as I know it is over.
My son is growing up so fast (15) and I miss him being my little boy,I have to keep remembering he is a man nearly not my little son.
I miss holding his hand and being the centre of his universe, now I am just there to feed and taxi the teenager 
I guess I am just finding it difficult to come to terms with.
I AM GETTING OLD AND I STILL THINK I AM 25! 

[CLKD]

   It's The Change 

How are your periods in the last couple of years?  Mine waxed and waned and eventually stopped. 

GPs can be au fait with menopausal symptoms, always best to make a list of symptoms and make a double appt., either with the Practice Nurse or a GP.  Browse round the Forum. Make notes.  Some ladies find keeping a diary of food/symptoms/ can help chart what is happening.

There is a page here for husbands/partners - print it off and give to your husband.  It can help to have a buzz word to, for him to throw at you when you are OTT!

Empty nest syndrome is common.  It has been mentioned here too, as well as various symptoms including vaginal atrophy.

There is usually someone here to listen …….

[Hurdity]

Hi pegginout

 

If you have begin to skip periods and your cycle is lengthening then you are definitely entering the peri-menopausal transition - in which case you would not need blood tests and HRT should be available to you to alleviate your symptoms - and it works first on sweats and flushes.

You doc should not prescribe you anti-depressants - or if s/he does then you are justified in refusing them because the NICE Guidelines say that they should not be used as first line of treament for menopausal symptoms in women who are peri-menopausal!

If your periods are completely regular then HRT can be hit and miss and some women find the Pill helps to regulate the cycle and mood swings - there are a couple of types (QLAIRA and ZOELY) which contain estradiol - the same oestrogen as in most HRT which is the one bio-identical with our own oestrogen.

There is no point in suffering!

Empty Nest Syndrome  CLKD???  Umm.... her son is only 15 - very much present - and if anything like my 3 sons - making his presence felt!!!! I think it is the growing up phase that pegginout is referring to - we all feel wistful about the passing of each stage of our little ones.....well I did anyway! I remember one of my sons at 4.5 before he went to school - playing  happily by himself for ages - and my thinking he doesn't need me all the time any more - this phase has past!!!

Hurdity x

[kiltgirl]

You doc should not prescribe you anti-depressants - or if s/he does then you are justified in refusing them because the NICE Guidelines say that they should not be used as first line of treament for menopausal symptoms in women who are peri-menopausal!


Hurdity x

My GP did this, after a huge long history of not being able to tolerate ADs, they prescribed me Pregabalin for the anxiety...it was horrible, felt like a zombie! Sometimes I think that if they can't throw meds at it they don't know what else to do. I know someone else the same age who is taking Citalopram prescribed to help with hot flushes....

Surely better to at least try to treat the cause than throwing these meds with all their side effects at the symptoms...

sorry it makes me kinda mad...although some women find them helpful, who knows, it really puts me off going to the doc!

The Change is no fun...sorry to hijack with my rantings!

[pegginout]

I have PCOS so my periods have never been regular, they are just a lot shorter, and less heavy.
I also have a history of PTSD & Depression in the post natal period.
I no longer take ADs and don't really want to take them again as I don't feel depressed, just anxious.

[Freckles]

Shame this web site forum doesn't have a clear  'sticky' post for the many posts like yours.
Sounds like you are peri menopausal and the symptoms are entirely consistent with that 
Do read around thoroughly before going to your GP and the varying different views on here first.
Informed information is power!
Personally I think the Ad's don't work for what are primarily hormonal changes, unless you have underlying issues pre peri menopause.
The hormonal imbalance needs to be treated first, not by AD's.
I first came on this forum back in March this year. 
My 12 year old GP was crap- told me I was too old in my early 50's to increase my crap tablet form of HRT, offered AD's which I didn't want as I knew it was hormonal, so I ended up paying to see a specialist privately (Prof  Studd) as my oestrogen levels were lower than most adult men.
Got prescribed oestrogen gel (Estrogel)  plus tiny amount of Testim (testerone gel) each day and never looked back.  Also get progesterone tablets at 100 mg for 7 days  each month- lower than the NICE guidelines (who have their own agenda)  but works very well  for me and other women on MM.
I get it all prescribed on the NHS too.
Often women with PND and a history of PCOS have been treated inappropriately in the past (i.e. their hormonal imbalances have been overlooked or ignored)
The HRT gels and tablets are all proven to be safer and far more effective than tablets and/or patches
Some women like the tablets and/or patch versions of HRT- I didn't as they weren't effective.  There is no 'one size fits all' formula.
So do some research first and please remember there aren't any qualified medics posting on this forum, so  ALL opinions are really subjective.
PM me if you want any more information.
Freckles x

[Pam Madra]

Hi Freckles
How easily you explain everything and good to hear that HRT is the answer. As my AD for last 3 years have done nothing for me. I have been prescribed Tibolone ( half a tablet) by gynae who works with Dr Studd in Sydney. Too early for me to say anything. I hope I can find something suitable for my self.  Please let me know if you have heard any thing about Tibolone and its failure or success.

[kiltgirl]

Some good advice re ADs, I wish I had known about the NICE guidelines before I accepted my prescription...I think some GPs see you have anxiety issues on your notes (linked to hormones) and therefore any problems you go to see them with are probably because of that, is so belittling 

[babyjane]

Hello and welcome to the forum.  these ladies have all given you very sound advice, you won't have to suffer forever but it could take a little time to stabilise your hormonal upheaval.  There is plenty of support here, I cannot recommend it highly enough. 

Please reassure your dear husband and son that you are neither psychotic nor a crackpot nor a bitch but you might need some help over this stage of your life.  Yes, the 'advice for husbands and partners' sheet is very useful.

[CLKD]

"You doc should not prescribe you anti-depressants - or if s/he does then you are justified in refusing them because the NICE Guidelines say that they should not be used as first line of treament for menopausal symptoms in women who are peri-menopausal! "

However …… if a person suffers with depression and/or anxiety and medication is known to help, sometimes quicker than any HRT suggested, then accepting that ADs are the way to go is important.  We don't know what any lady here presents to her GP with, she may not have mentioned her lack of periods or anything relating to peri-menopause - a GP will prescribe if necessary with what he/she hears.

pegginout - some ADs have been shown to ease anxiety symptoms do try not to dismiss what your GP suggests out of hand!

Did you print out the 'advice for husbands' ?  As for empty nest syndrome, some ladies think too far ahead and being to mourn their children B4 they have moved on 

[pegginout]

I hadn't extensive blood tests done and I am fit & well, just slightly aneamic so I'm trying to up the green veg!
I will not take ADs unless I'm depressed. I'm a bloody expert on this subject and can truly say I am not depressed, I just 'don't feel myself'
ADS play a huge part in saving many lives from suicide etc, I always say that if people had diabetes they wouldn't think twice about taking insulin to help this, and depression is no different, it's a chemical imbalance of the brain and should be treated as such, with medication.
It's just the emotions I m finding difficult to deal with at the moment.

[CLKD]

I agree pegginout …….. I didn't want to take ADs initially but they have been a life saver.

I had dreadful pre-menstrual anger, one day I could deal with something, the following a similar issue would cause me to rage ……… and throw things though never anything of value  .  The rage would come out of no-where 

[Charlotte ...]

CLKD - I was the same with the rage, it was awful  it's calmed down a lot