Hi - I have bladder problems but have avoided the meds for overactive bladder so far.
I have vagifem, and use that in conjuction with Actigel when things are iffy. I use moisturiser other times - usually sylk or yes.
I use vagifem every three days. I also went onto systemic hrt. Whilst that has not cured the problem either, I have not had a complete disaster (full bladder explosion

) since the day I started taking it over 2 years ago. I found vagifem good on its own, but it could not compensate for the ups and downs, so I would wake up feeling perfect, and wet my knickers by lunchtime

) My bladder is much calmer and predictable on full hrt.
I also drink enough water to keep my urine pale during the day. I have a glass by the bed at night (used to use it to cool down with the night sweats in days gone by

) If I am working on the computer, I have a glass and sip it, and if I go out, I take water with me. This is in addition to the usual tea and coffee breaks. If I have an irritable day, I find that drinking enough to have a couple of full bladders calms it down.
Things that make it worse are: relying on tea all day (easy done in the winter when you want something warm) and drinking strong instant coffee - so much so that I NEVER drink it. I only drink home brewed coffee from my cafetiere served with plenty milk and a big spoon of sugar (like French coffee) - it is my one weakness (apart from the chocolate and crisps

) so I have it as a treat once a week (or sometimes twice

). The other thing that makes it worse is a drop in hormones - it can go from a slightly-not-making-it to a change-the-trousers and was a big problems during my non pill days in the last years on oral contraceptives.
Being constipated can also not help - probably makes less room for the bladder.