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[Katty]

One thing I would like to point out is the way vaginal issues during menopause are referred to on websites. Almost always they are titled vaginal dryness after which they are then linked to sexual intercourse. This makes it sound like menopausal women are just not wet enough to enjoy sex anymore and can seek help for that. The fact is it's not just a lack of lubrication it's a whole host of problems so for a start vaginal dryness is the wrong heading for the topic. The dryness, itching, burning of the whole area from the vagina all the way to the anus is a huge problem for some. Added to that the thinning down of all tissues in the area and resulting issues with old episiotomy  scars is a blight. Women are kept awake with the discomfort of it all and often can develop urinary issues as well. We all talk on this forum so we exchange this information. Trouble is most places you look and even the info I was given by my GP regarding menopause when I started HRT, just refer to vaginal dryness and it's possible effects on sex. I do remember a woman in her 70's once saying to me how embarrassed she was collecting her cream from the chemist because they would think she wanted it for the sex. I wonder if some women are even reluctant to seek help because it's so closely linked to sex. We really need to disconnect the two and recognise that vaginal issues in menopause are symptoms that arise and need to be managed irrespective of whether sex is taking place. It's not just a problem of sex it's every day and night whatever the activity.

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Katty
I couldn't agree with you more.   The taboos and myths around urogenital atrophy is something that needs to be broken down and here on MM we are doing our best.  In the New NICE guidelines these problems are covered reasonably well and is termed as ‘Urogenital Atrophy' and not just vaginal dryness - you are sooooo right in saying it is more than just dryness!!
I'm afraid it is down to educating women and some serious training for GPs.  Since I have had this horrid burning etc. I now look at other women of our age (and older) and wonder if they are in pain or discomfort - too embarrassed to seek help.
There is a culture change slowly coming through, however, the messages are mixed and it doesn't help when those women who don't suffer with moderate to severe meno symptoms, proudly boast that “they don't know what all the fuss is about”!!!!
I would like to see, at the very least, leaflets in GPs surgeries outlining all the vaginal and urinary problems that can emerge with the menopause to encourage women to seek help.  DG x

[CLKD]

Have you thought about speaking with your Practice Manager DG to see if she would 'trial' your idea?  Even if you printed out a few leaflets designed by yourself [don't forget to copyright  ] to see what the up-take and follow-on might be?

[Maryjane]

I absolutely agree as I suffer all that you just mentioned, and I have an idea re getting it out there , I have three daughters and it scares me if they end up like me.

They have all been forewarned and have asked me to write everything down , it feels like I have had the next generation and should neither seen or hurd and I get very CROSS about it.

[Sweetscarlett]

Here ! Here!
Agree with all that's been said
It's one of the most taboo subjects of the menopause - it should get the same priority as hot flushes - both are totally debilitating

💚💚Ssx

[dahliagirl]

When I finally started vagifem, my vagina was far from dry - I had a steady drip, with a slight pink tinge like the washer needed changing 

I had had vaginal surgery, so was worried it was my scar weeping.  The previous doctor I had seen (when I said it was wet, wet, wet) said that we all have different discharge from time to time (as if you get to 50 without knowing this  )

I had also had itchy patches between the labia majora and minora, and insufferably itchy pubes for about 5 years by then, even though I was on the pill.  I had also been unable to get to the loo quick enough during my 'off week' and this had got to the stage where I needed to change my underwear, and my trousers.

Not sure about the state of play for sex 

[Autumnlady]

This does seem to be something of a Taboo subject and even I feel 'iffy' admitting mine. Three years ago when I was about a year menopausal I thought I had slight thrush. As life was mega busy I just ignored it between trying out the vaginal moisturisers, which appeared to help for a while. I had probably been like this some 8 months before I casually mentioned it to my GP as an after thought. She told me to make another appointment with her or the nurse as it could be 'something else'. To be honest I had not worried about it until then.

It turned out I have lichen sclerosis. Something I had never heard of. I have learnt it comes in differing degrees and can be treated but not cured.

What happens is the inside vulva lips become thinner, can disappear or even fuse together. I am not aware of any discomfort as I go about day to day stuff but when it comes to taking away my femininity it does bother me and the thought of intercourse terrifies me. I need 6 month checks from my GP and I use steroid ointment and aloe vera  gel. On my last appointment my GP asked if I had thought about oestrogen cream. I had not been told about it previously but I read it can plump up the skin and make things more comfortable. So I have an appointment with another doctor who specialises in dermatology in a few weeks time.

I thought I knew it all regarding womens problems but I had never heard of all these vaginal conditions and the dryness and shrinking.  An unpleasant surprise.

[Dorothy]

Katty, reading your post I was wishing MM forum had a 'like' button!  I'm single and one of the things I've found most frustrating about the whole peri journey is the emphasis on relationships & sex.  Go to the GP with VA issues and it's 'oh, is it causing problems with your relationship with your partner'.  As if single women don't have the right to receive treatment for a very painful condition unless it's causing frustration or annoyance to their partner!!!   

I had a similar experience years ago when I had to have a gynae op.  I was in a lot of pain, but the gynae just kept going on about 'are you trying to start a family'.  And when I explained that I was single, she said 'then why are you wanting treatment?'    Errrrr, because I am in permanent agony?!!!  Is that not sufficient reason.  Far too many medical staff still seem to look on women as only on the planet to a) keep the men happy and b) produce children.  If you're not doing one of those things, they aren't interested.

(I'll climb off my soapbox now... )

[Maryjane]

Completely agree Dorothy 😡😡😡😡


I have done my bit for the future generation and I feel I have been sent to the back of the cave.

I very top gynae told me a couple of years ago , that she knows of male gyneas who think vaginas past 30 are old 😳

When I had pills removed at 46 the consultant showed me pictures , I asked what something was and he said " it's because it's an old womb" 😡

Talk about on the scrap heap.

[Autumnlady]

I bet those male gyneas wouldn't like 'their bits' to be referred to as old at those ages! What a cheek!

[Annie0710]

I had also had itchy patches between the labia majora and minora, and insufferably itchy pubes

This is what I have but soreness too
After sex it feels like an abrasion

X

[Dancinggirl]

My mother had vulva cancer.  She didn't go to the GP until the pain became really bad - her description of her symptoms led the GP to think it was a UTI and gave her ABs and probably told her to come back if symptoms persisted.  After many weeks of awful pain she eventually went back, the GP examined her and she was rushed to a specialist that afternoon - the cancer had of cause spread very badly and she ended up having an 8 hour operation.
Women need to be educated to seek help and not just put up with pain and discomfort, believing it is normal as we age.
She is now 88 and doing fine but following her op she then had a prolapsed bladder which needed another operation.  How much better and cheaper would it have been to catch this cancer earlier??  DG x

[mimumonschein]

DG, going back to the vaginal itching and burning. I am suffering since 4 months and getting depressed. My bleeding is better now. But keep having a thrush symptom which I don't think it is. With the canestan test kit it said that I have Trichomoniasis.... that is sexual transmitted sesease isn't it? I was cleared negative twice in last three month. No cream is helping. Now I'm going to NHS gynaecologist again. Last gynaecologist I went to didn't help me. What shall I tell the doctor? Does gynaecologist do the STI test? Or any other skin test? Like lichen ..... disease? My ultrasound test was ok. Smear test too. I'm 55 and going into menopause. I still have the period sometimes bleeding. I have the high iron level in blood. I have hypertension since more than 10 years and on medication. But no doctor can find out about my vaginal discomfort. I can feel something is going on inside as well, It's tingling and horrible. Please advise me. Mimu

[mimumonschein]

Dear Autumnlady, how did you find out they you have lichen sclerosis?
What is the symptom? With me it's nothing visible .... Mimu

[babyjane]

thank you for raising this topic.  I also agree with everything you have said.  My husband and I are celibate due to these difficulties on my part, but he also has his own issues and neither of us have much libido so it is mutually consensual.  For us showing affection no longer includes intercourse but there are other ways to be intimate and loving.

I would imagine when only one partner has problems it could be more of a problem and it is awful if single women are not treated the same if they are not sexually active.