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[Urbanchick]

But what was that awful noise?   Thinking that she must speak to the Captain about it at dinner [because it must be her turn, surely that awful woman with the tight fitting polyester frock and the sweaty top lip -which, incidentally, could use a gentle waxing, couldn't possibly be at his table again]    It was no good, though, the noise was too loud and too intrusive.  It put even the dreamy hunk Captain Bulge out of her mind.   

Shoving Wally hard in the side and pushing him onto his back, she came to.   Instead of the dreamy Captain Bulge she was lying next to the snoring Wally Rush.   Sighing, she got up for the first of many visits to the loo...

Tomorrow, she thought, is another day.   And it will be THE DAY.   Not for the first time, she pondered on exactly what she had ever found attractive about Wally.   She should have listened to her mother - she kept saying you couldn't expect hearts and flowers from a man called Wally.   But it could have been worse, he was christened Willy but got so sick of the comments about length and girth... 

[ellie]

  It was an early Monday morning, a beautiful crisp November day. Flushing Green was bustling with
  people setting up their market stalls.
  George Hog the baker had been up since 2am, preparing his goods for their stall.
  Minnie his wife was now arranging the still warm pies on the stall.  She was humming quietly to
  herself......she was feeling so excited .....Minnie's twin sister was coming home from Australia, they
  hadn't seen each other for ten long years. ....
           Miss Stitch had the stall next to the Hogs, but this was one morning when she would have
  rather stayed in bed.....She still wasn't feeling well, but now she knew why!!!

[walking the dog]

When mr hog was busy selling his wares mrs hog took the opportunity to sly away to the ice cream parlour, 'please ' she begged me cool 'i must have some of your magic cooling (get it magicool) ice cream but mr hog must never know ' mr cool rubbing his hands in glee silently thought 'i will get one over on mr hog now '

[ellie]

  Mr Cools magic recipe had been handed down through the generations, but he had taken it upon
  himself to add a secret ingredient  . Not only did it help the ladies of a certain age to feel younger
  and fitter, it also made them think he was irresistible .
    " There you are Mrs Hog, your secret is safe with me" he said as he handed her the much longed for
  ice cream......"take a seat behind my stall and enjoy it" he winked......
        A while later Mrs Hog returned to the bakery stall.... " My goodness you have lovely rosy cheeks"
  said Mr Hog, "The walk round the market has done you good"........
     

[walking the dog]

Mrs cool was rapidly loosing her cool! That mrs hog better leave my Mr cool alone ' she said to herself , 'im convinced she's after his mr whippy recipe and his coconut wafers' mrs cool hadn't put up with 25 years of marriage and mr cools cold hands to let mrs hog snatch it all away from her

[walking the dog]

Meanwhile back at the Dr surgery Dr rush wondered why he hadn't had so many patients recently, he  had heard a,rumour that miss interpretation was refusing to give people appointments, surely it wasn't true !?

[ellie]

  Miss Interpretation was indeed turning some of Dr Rushes patients away.
  Although Dr Rush was a middle aged man and his hair was becoming speckled with silver, he was still
  a very handsome man..She was sure some of the village hormonal ladies, were paying far too much
  attention to him........"Hot Flushes" indeed she muttered......" My husband doesn't understand me"
  she mimicked.......who do these women think they are kidding.
        Just they she saw Miss Stitch coming down the path.........."Not that woman again" she thought.
          Last time Miss Stitch had tried to make an appointment, she had kept saying something about
  ' being late!.......Stupid woman thought Miss Interpretation, , and had told her to come back when
  she has stopped crying..........

[walking the dog]

Over at the church mrs hymn the vicars wife was wondering whether she should pay Dr rush a visit. She had strange cravings to visit Mr cool and mr hog and miss stitch had let out her waislines more than once. She knew her husband the vicar was getting on in years but could it really be true ? At their age ? Well she thought as she bit into another pickled gherkin , they do Say God works in mysterious ways