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[Justjules]

Not sure where to post this but was a bit dismayed this morning to see that Lynda57 has left us.  She was reprimanded for posting a link last night and it's obviously upset her as I noted her response was very short so now she's felt 'got at' when she might not have realised it wasn't allowed.  I didn't know either so I've learnt something.  All I want to say is, a lot of us on here are already in a heightened emotional state and can take things a bit too literally sometimes but bearing that in mind, some of the more 'knowledgeable' ladies who perhaps aren't suffering 'mentally' with this meno lark as much as some may need to be a bit more sensitive when 'ticking' someone off.  I've seen it on another thread today as well. Not helpful and not nice.  Sorry, but it's just upset me this morning.

[Elizabethrose]

I agree with you Justjules, I haven't read the posts you were talking about but I have read some very patronising and quite frankly rude posts on this forum. Unfortunately emails can be written in haste and sent before proper consideration of how they may affect others. Given that a great many women on this site are struggling, sensitivity should be paramount.

Equally I have been exceptionally moved by how kind, caring and supportive the vast majority of members are to each other. This site can be a blessing.

There are a number of experienced, knowledgeable women here ready to offer valuable advice. Occasionally however, advice is offered in a bullish insensitive fashion.

Perhaps we should all reread our posts a couple of times before we press the post button. The written word can so easily be misinterpreted and of course it's set in stone.

Well done Justjules for being brave enough to post about this.

[Taz2]

I think that sometimes we have to post in a hurry due to other commitments and don't always manage to get our points across in a sensitive way. It's been mentioned before that the written word is often hard to interpret without the accompanying facial expressions, hand gestures etc. Hopefully Linda57 will return.

Taz x

[Justjules]

Well my intention is not to cause any bickering but I am merely upset to think that someone who obviously was coming on here for comfort and advice maybe feels she has nowhere to get this from now and it made me sad.  I was going to pm her last night but didn't get chance and now wished I had.

[Joyce]

 

I don't post as much these days, but have not had any such problems personally, but have read a few posts over the years which could have been taken the wrong way.

Most of us are experiencing some, if not a lot of symptoms, which can change our moods at the touch of a switch. Heck I know I am, my hubby has had his ear chewed on several occasions. Fortunately he has learned to accept it as the way things are.

[Cazikins]

Yes I saw the post I think Linda57 was referring to & I probably too would have been a bit peeved if I'm honest - but then I'm sensitive to being told off  but I tend to "come back" at people if that happens. Not too often thank goodness.

It's a difficult situation as I understand the need to reply asap if you are on your way out somewhere, but is it that necessary? must it be answered straight away? could someone else who isn't in a rush help till you come back? or maybe it would just be better to wait until you have more time to think about it.

I value every single members opinion/support/advice on here. I may not agree with all of it, & I certainly do not claim to understand most of the medical terminology, & I may not want to read all the links to various papers etc but I can scan over those parts & read the bits that I can relate to, or help if possible - but the forum is what it is now & it has got bigger & bigger over the years.

Cazikins x

[Justjules]

Well, another member has just stropped off on another thread now.....must be one of those days 

[Babsm67]

Oh dear, I haven't seen that latest post, Justjules - I am quite sensitive and peri has made me worse!  I always worry that I might say the wrong thing on here - sometimes I can think of something to say quite quickly but other times I don't answer straight away because my 'foggy' head can't think of the right words.   Many times I have read threads on here but have been hesitant about joining in so have kept quiet - it doesn't mean I don't care though.  I hope Linda decides to come back at some point. X

[babyjane]

Thank you Justjules.  I rcently posted this on another thread but I think I will put it here too

 Considering we are all at some point or other in menopause I am surprised there are not more spats and disagreements.  On the whole I think the whole forum conducts itself well and has a nice balance to it.   The occasional over reaction is inevitable given our hormonal situations and frustrations.

[Dorothy]

I know we all read things differently but I honestly don't see what was said as a reprimand.  The exact wording was "Hi Linda57 - you probably don't know but we're not really supposed to link to stuff like this because he is a US based private practitioner trying to sell stuff - books, cream, his (company's) services etc!  Probably best you remove the actual link at the bottom of your post?"  When I read it, I thought it was very well written as it pointed out that the link should not be there but in a very friendly way & then went on to ask what the MM members could do to help the OP with her menopause journey.  I know we are all likely to be extra-sensitive at this stage of life, but realistically, I think if the OP was unable to cope with posts like that, then she would not have lasted long on the forum anyway. 

[Ju Ju]

I do hope linda57 comes back. When you are low it is so easy to misinterpret and read things into things that were never intended. We've all been there I'm sure. Often you are reacting to pain and experience in the past rather than to what you appear to be reacting to, which can be confusing to others. But on the whole we are an understanding, supportive lot. So I send linda a virtual hug, just in case she dips in.

[Dorothy]

Oooh, yes!  At my most paranoid, it is probably impossible to say anything to me that won't be misinterpreted - and not saying anything will have the same effect!

Came across a quote recently that sums it up so well:  "Sometimes, I have mood swings.  Other times, I have the whole mood playground!"   

[CLKD]

It is in the Terms and Conditions - not to post links that are selling anything.

[Hurdity]

  CLKD

Hurdity x

[Hurdity]

I know we all read things differently but I honestly don't see what was said as a reprimand.  The exact wording was "Hi Linda57 - you probably don't know but we're not really supposed to link to stuff like this because he is a US based private practitioner trying to sell stuff - books, cream, his (company's) services etc!  Probably best you remove the actual link at the bottom of your post?"  When I read it, I thought it was very well written as it pointed out that the link should not be there but in a very friendly way & then went on to ask what the MM members could do to help the OP with her menopause journey.  I know we are all likely to be extra-sensitive at this stage of life, but realistically, I think if the OP was unable to cope with posts like that, then she would not have lasted long on the forum anyway.

Thank-you Dorothy.

Justjules considering the title of your thread is to do with being a bit more sensitive – perhaps you could also consider the effect of your words?  I am extremely offended by your thread and your post  - using the words “reprimand” and “ticking off” which were the last things in my mind.  It is precisely because linda57 may not have known the forum rules that I framed the posts in the – I thought – friendly way that I did - I try very hard to say things in a way that does not offend.  Not once in your post(s)/thread have you (or anybody) referred to me by name  -  and yet my post is quoted.  I review and if necessary, revise every single post before posting.

As you are criticising me it would have been better to take issue with my post directly with me on the relevant thread instead of starting another one aimed at but not mentioning me – talking about what I've said as if I wasn't there - and implying other things which may be aimed at other unnamed members - who knows??  Mine was the last in a series of generally negative posts towards the author and his theories.

By using emotive language in saying that another member “stropped off” as you said,  you have also trivialised her reason for leaving – and if I were reading that comment, I would be upset.

I've also no idea who or what you meant by saying you've seen it on another thread today “not helpful and not nice”.

Most of us are sensitive, including old post-menopausal women in their 60's....!


Hurdity