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[babyjane]

I felt like this when I stopped work.  The first year I learnt a musical instrument to grade 3 and took the exam.  The second year I did a certificate course in the work I did because I thought I would go back, which I did briefly but had to stop again.

Then I changed my attitude and stopped driving myself and trying to prove myself and started to accept that I didn't need all this stress to prove myself.  After this I relaxed and started being a wife and mother and grandmother and actually enjoyed it without feeling guilty.

[walking the dog]

I did look into voluntary work a while back but my anxiety's been too bad to follow it up ! I have two dogs both a nightmare even though went to dog training classes id never walk either on my own their not vicious they just dont listen bark at other dogs pull on leads etc .
Funny you mentioning guilt babyjane as I do feel guilty that um so bloody useless I dont know what happened to me but I dont like it , therapist says I can get me back but not even in therapy yet still in assessment so could take awhile but I do know I'm lucky to even get it and i appreciate it as the NHS is so stretched I'm one of the lucky ones .

[babyjane]

My guilt and feelings of uselessness are being exorcised by my therapy which I have been having for 6 months now.  I think private is better if you can do it, it takes all my money each month (I have a small allowance) but it is money well spent because I am now seeing changes after each (fortnightly) visit.

[CLKD]

Pity I don't live nearer WtDog - I don't take any flack from furries  .  Two 2-gether than wind each other up.  However, if you are home how about training sessions in the garden? 

[walking the dog]

I will post them out to you clkd ! The eldest is the worse he is busy barking in my face !😐

[CLKD]

Off to open the 'dog' thread 

[SadLynda]

Great post BJ, and all good comments too.

I was helped the most by finding this forum.  Changing my GP (twice), taking AD's and changing my diet, without the AD's though I would not have found 'me' again and had the energy to change diet, learn to cook etc.

[Mardy]

Really good thread.

Some days I get up really late, but tend to do stuff late on, so make up for that. I also try not to beat myself up about not doing as much as I used to. I have good days & bad but better that I was since finding this forum & taking St John's Wort & just trying to remember that there are others out there all doing the same.

[CreamTeaGirl]

What a great post BJ - and very well put. Let us know if you find a 'cure' for insomnia - I'd do anything for a full nights sleep!

Interesting what you say BJ about past issues resurfacing at this time of life, because in recent months I've found myself tackling the thorny subject of my difficult relationship with my mother (now deceased), and having discovered she was somewhat narcissistic, I'm now coming to terms with all of that. I definitely felt a 'need' to heal, which I suspect is part of the 'spiritual' aspect of the menopause journey.

I also stopped working in January this year, partly due to having a very stressful full-time job and not coping with the symptoms that came with it (insomnia, night worries/sweats, day flushes, difficulty concentrating - no good in the workplace with a high-flying unsympathetic male boss!). It makes me wonder just how many of us there are who have struggled to cope with work, and have either stopped or gone part-time. I've been looking for p/t work, but I'm a bit choosy as I can't cope with too much pressure these days. Hubby is very supportive, having seen how much I've struggled at times, and we're just about coping financially - no holiday this year, just days out. I try not to feel guiltly because I've always worked very hard. I've considered HRT many times, but after a bad experience in peri with Mirena, am worried I'll turn back into the Wicked Witch of the West!! I find low dose AD's are enough to keep the anxiety at bay.

So for now I'll just keep looking for a job within my comfort zone, and take each day as it comes.... glad I'm not the only one!

CTG x

[dazned]

I felt that I had to go part time and so glad that I did,but for others it may not be an option 

Not enough support out there or if there is it seems to be a lottery.

About to move house/area soon so it remains to be seen what our new gp is like,and just as I'd got my current gp tamed ! 

[walking the dog]

Good luck with new gp dazned. Personally I dont feel like I'm coping with peri meno at all its affected me physically and mentally I have gynaecology problems i didn't have and anxiety is debilitating plus its brought back a lot of trauma from my early years. I also left my job due to all these issues
  I'm now under a gynaecologist plus a menopause specialist I have a cpn , a psychiatrist a therapist . I was fine til this peri meno hit me like a ton of bricks and now I don't recognise myself.